10. "This is CA3! Charlie Alpha Three! No UFO's reported in the past 24 hours. Geronimo Amish Buggy! Repeat: Geronimo Amish Buggy!"
9. "I've had these HIC! hiccups for a week. Send someone over to scare me!"
8. "How long does it take for a 20-pound turkey to thaw?"
7. "Send a big officer right away. I can't get this lid off the jar and I've even ran hot water over it!"
Following is the top 15 all-time movie favorites of nudists everywhere. Over 10,000 nudists were asked their favorites and we interviewed some of the ladies twice, just to be sure.)
15. Saving Ryan's Privates
14. Fred's Willy
13. Tool Hand Luke
12. A Man Called Horse (As you can see)
11. The Shower Shank Redemption
10. The Thing
9. Raging Tool
8. My Big Fat Italia...
The top ten marijuana slip-ups of Ron Paul during race for presidency!
10. It's all over here. We came in turd. Let's light...pack up and let's blow this joint!
9. My glaucoma is acting up again. Everyone here looks strange.
8. So we lost another state? Who really gives a shit?
7. Forget this Primary. Show me the Prime.
6. Are you against this too, Santorum? Ever have any fun?...
After the sacking of AVB from CFC by "Red Rom", Back and to the Left news pays tribute to the boy who walked into a man's dressing room; and consequently got abused by the adults he found there. Here are ten little known facts about AVB:
1. AVB was originally called ABC but changed his name so he wouldn't get confused with the already famous English alphabet.
2. His first job in football wa...
1· I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
2· There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
3· Life is sexually transmitted.
4· Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
5· The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
6· Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying i...
10. DunkinDonuts fined one trillion dollars for serving sugar donuts to the underaged.
9. Washington D.C. Metro system closes until all escalators are repaired.
8. China approves U.S. budget for 2021.
7. Representative Nancy Pelosi still doesn't know what's in Obamacare.
6. U.S. forces the Catholic Church to take-up Sunday collections for Planned Parenthood in order for the Church...
Anger issues have plagued many people over the years, but now there is a solution. The iControl app from My Way Apps can be downloaded to defuse those annoying situations.
"Many is the time that I've been stood in a queue at the Cheese Wheeze, or...
It's a fact.
The world is ending this year, or so say the experts who are pretending they can read the ancient texts of the Mayan people, that long ago vanished Mesoamerican tribe.
So, I thought it would be prudent to cover a few final points before the destruction of mankind. And if I can, help you survive it.
This is my 'How To' guide in how to survive the apocalypse.
Hold on tight,...
10. According to my horoscope, that's what I was supposed to do.
9. My dad drank too much.
8. My girlfriend drinks too much.
7. Being sober around drunk people sucks.
6. Dry heaves are almost as good as crunches - and that's on top of my smoker's cough!
5. Artists, musicians and writers always drink too much - that's just the way it is.
4. I'm tired of feeling left out.
Many things annoy us, from women leaving the toilet seat down, public transport, the price of fuel and annoying junk mail, to women who complain you left the toilet seat up, family members who come visiting and never quite seem to know when it's time they fucked off, taxes, computer viruses and people who talk absolute bollocks about subjects they know nothing about.
Here's our chart rundown of...
It's Christmas, and despite the economic crisis, Britons are pulling together and doing what they do best - sitting on their fat arses (the biggest in Europe) and watching TV.
So what programmes are the most popular during this festive period? We did a survey to find out.
The most watched TV show was "When Sharks Attack at Christmas", a graphic documentary about the dangers of swimming near...
Some of this years biggest selling Christmas season toys include The LeapFrog LeapPad Explorer Tablet, The Lalaloopsy Silly Hair Doll, The Trash Pack Trashies Garbage Truck, Crayola Crayon Makers, Monster High Dolls, Nerf Vortex Nitron Blaster, and Transformers Dark of the Moon Ultimate Optimus Prime
But on the other side of the coin are Christmas toys that no one is purchasing. The highly re...
Dakota and Joshua are about to be new parents, but the question of what to name their new baby is still on their minds. They want a name that gives the baby a strong identity without threatening other babies. While sipping a latte at a local beanery, they expressed their concerns.
"It's so important. Maybe we should wait until the baby can decide on it's own." suggested Dakota.
Google have released their top 10 searches for this year. Go on try them.
Top 4 'Do we' searches and results:
1. Do we have free will? (No - most will writing services charge a tidy sum)
2. Do werewolves exist? (Yes - Richard Keys ex Sky TV presenter is one)
3. Do we have a soul? (Yes - provided you are black)
4. Do weight loss pills work? (No - look around you for God's sake)
Top 4 '...
New York -- Over 74% of Americans believe that the nation is "off on the wrong track," according to a recent survey conducted for The Wall Street Journal and NBC News.
The pessimistic figure is the worst since October 2008, when 78% said that the country is headed in the wrong direction.
But the trick here is not to dwell in the past, but to look ahead and identify forthcoming signals that i...
Hello, and welcome to this special edition feature of our popular series The Beginner's Guide.
Here we will attempt to uncover some of the myths and mysteries surrounding that most popular of holidays, Christmas.
Where did it originate, what's it all about and why is it so damned expensive?
These questions and a few more will probably be answered, or at the very least alluded to, in our 1...
Welcome one and welcome all, to the Beginner's Guide Part 6, everything you need to know about drinking.
Close the saloon doors behind you, pull up a bar stool and tip the barman a few coins, and we'll share a wee dram of your favourite poison whilst discussing the intricacies of the nations favourite pastime.
From the very dawn of time, man has sought to forget the foibles of the day, to er...
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