New York City - Michael Bloomberg is just weeks away from being forced out of office by an angry mob. (At least that's the way most envision his departure.) The mayor's forthcoming eviction raises the question: What's Mad Mike going to do with all of that free time he is going to have on his hands? Here are the top 10 suggestions: 1. Start by invading Poland. 2. Save a buck by doing...
According To The Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency of Chicago, Vampire motion pictures have just surpassed sci-fi movies, superhero movies, fantasy movies, and animated movies in terms of overall popularity. The film series The Twilight Saga, which starred Rob Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, and Taylor Lautner helped to popularize the vampire genre of films. Television shows about vampires helpe...
Anthony Weiner has probably provided more jokes for all of the late night talk shows than anyone or anything else this year. There is not a man, woman, or child who has not uttered the name Anthony Weiner at least once. And the Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency has stated that Jay Leno has said the word Weiner more than anyone else in America. As of September 6, Jay Leno has said the infamou...
It's a longstanding tradition in America for television programming to unveil new shows about this time of year, or at least, a few days or weeks from now. This fall season is teeming with original series -- particularly scripted dramas and comed...
Over the years the National Football League has strived to do what it takes to make the game of professional football safer. And no one can argue that we have not come a long way since the days of leather helmets, one bar face masks, and a square football. NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has said that he and the NFL will continue to do whatever it takes to make sure that NFL players do not en...
There is perhaps no politician in the United States who enjoys eating more than Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey. Governor Christie adheres to the adage popularized by 70s musical icon David Crosby who said on many occasions that he had never met food that he did not like. The New Jersey governor has revealed that he weighs 351 pounds and chuckles that about 198 pounds is water weight.
In a recent survey of science historians, the history of science book has been torn up and thrown away with the revelation that the humble list is the most important invention of all time. "We thought that they might choose Newton's laws of motion...
Sometimes it takes more than a boffin with a Mac to come up with a killer app idea. Here's a top 10 of the best of the worst apps ever to be released: 10. The 'Battery Monitor' App: designed to monitor the power usage of a phone's software and apps so users can make their battery charges last longer. The app consistently showed itself to be the biggest power drain. Verdict: Complete Power Failu...
1)Stop exercising it's making you ill. It gets in the way of drinking time, trash T.V. and arguing with your family. The lycra makes you look ridiculous. Elasticated waistbands aren't that bad. 2) Ditch the diet. For good. Your adult weight has gone from 120 to 160 pounds over the course of a year. Up and down like an out-of-control elevator. Accept that you're a fat bastard and get on with it.
The Christmas season is fast approaching and merchants and retailers are already trying to figure out which toys will be this holiday season's best sellers. According to three of the biggest retail chains in the United States this year promises to be a banner year for such toys as Jake's Musical Pirate Ship, LeapPad 2 Explorer, Nerf Laser Tag Blasters, Lalaloopsy Silly Hair Star Doll - Harmony...
"I have done everything I said I would do," Mr. Obama says at every opportunity. "But what I didn't do, I will do in the next four years." Yes, conservative sticklers will cavil that the second assertion contradicts the first. But common sense, liberally applied, allows one to understand the president's meaning, which is simply that he has kept many or most of his most important promises, as he...
1. Numbers. Ten of them, actually. Maybe Roman, most likely Arabic. 2. Letters. Possibly formulated into words. Whether or not those words are cogent or in the right order is completely up in the air. 3. Links to other Top 10 Lists.Why are you getting a link to the "Top Ten Ways to Sodomize a Goat"? Because you're a twisted fuck. That's why. 4. Arbitrary metrics. After several minutes of...
SEAL Team 666, according to the New York Times, is a "special-ops squad that fights demons, possessed humans, mass-murdering cults and evil in its most dark and ancient form." It's comprised of five specially-trained SEALs and a dog whose mission is to "protect America from supernatural attack," says author Weston Ochse. They receive their orders through the office of the Vice President, but what...
BuzzKill is a bleeding heart liberal news organization intensely focused on delivering it's own liberal agenda on the internet. It promotes a rapidly imploding leftist philosophy. Here are the ten worst things You'll remember About BuzzKill should you stumble upon it in the backwater swamps of the deep, deep, dark abscesses of the web: 1. BuzzKill still thinks Obama is relevant. Even NewsTw...
This list is based on a survey from relationship experts in hollywood. People such as: Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, Hugh Hefner, and even the Kardashians. 1. Your favorite musician is Justin Bieber 2. You don't know the difference between "their" "there" and "they're" 3. Your nickname is snake 4. You're a plumber 5. Your last name is Kardashian 6. You still use Myspace 7. You're 40 and l...
Bling Bling Magazine ran a survey and asked its readers to name the hip hop band or bands with the worst names. Quandell "Yo-Yo" Lemonmuckle, editor of Bling Bling Magazine stated that his publication had a total of 49,701 surveys returned. Entry forms were received from every state in the union except for Arizona. Lemonmuckle stated that he also received surveys from Zimbabwe, Kenya, Du...
Has your boyfriend or husband suddenly started grooming himself before work? Has he lost interest in the bedroom? Is he sneaking around whispering on the phone and receiving late night text messages? Have you spotted lipstick on his collar? There is probably a very reasonable explanation for all the above. For instance he may have started grooming himself for work because there could be a prom...
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