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Funny satire stories about Football (Soccer)

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Funny story: Lionel Messi has a gigantic cock

Lionel Messi has a gigantic cock

Reports are coming out of the Nou Camp stadium in Barcelona that tiny footballer Lionel Messi has a gigantic cock. The Argentinian struts his stuff in Spain and is acclaimed for his dribbling and ball control. He is also a clinical finisher w...

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Funny story: Lionel Messi retires, his mum told him to!

Lionel Messi retires, his mum told him to!

On the eve of maybe the greatest Champions League final ever a shock news report has been released from the FC Barcelona camp: "Lionel Messi has thrown in the towel, he will not be selected for tomorrow's final and we respect his mum's decision!"...

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Funny story: Cultural Chasm Between Manchester United And Barcelona Exposed

Cultural Chasm Between Manchester United And Barcelona Exposed

Everybody knows how these two teams play the beautiful game. Manchester United have recently been no-nonsense performers, with Champions League Final opponents, Barcelona gaining deserved recognition for being slick, cultured, and sophisticated. A...

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Funny story: CL Final - United Legend Nobby Stiles To Man Mark Lionel Messi?

CL Final - United Legend Nobby Stiles To Man Mark Lionel Messi?

The retired Manchester United defender might seem at first glance to be a dubious choice to man mark Barcelona's diminutive Argentinian striker, but some sources are of the opinion that Nobby is all set to come out of retirement and operate as a swee...

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Funny story: 76% Of Man Utd Fans Harbour A Dirty Little Secret

76% Of Man Utd Fans Harbour A Dirty Little Secret

Those involved know exactly what is being referred to in the headline - a staggering 76% of Manchester United fans own a replica Barcelona shirt! With the number 76 printed on the back! Experts believe that a whopping 76% of Manchester United f...

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Funny story: Barcelona Accuse Man United Of Dirty Tricks Campaign

Barcelona Accuse Man United Of Dirty Tricks Campaign

Word from the Barcelona camp ahead of Saturday's CL Final at Wembley is that Barcelona officials suspect that Man United have already launched a dirty tricks campaign in order to unsettle the Catalans. Barca insiders suspect that Sir Alex Ferguson...

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Funny story: Neil Lennon New Glasgow Rangers Manager

Neil Lennon New Glasgow Rangers Manager

Former Glasgow Celtic manager Neil Lennon, the man who faced a barrage of death threats whilst at Parkhead before resigning from the post last weekend, has, this morning, been unveiled as the new manager of Glasgow Rangers. Lennon, who recently re...

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Funny story: Kolo Toure Scared Of Being A Fat Bastard Like His Wife

Kolo Toure Scared Of Being A Fat Bastard Like His Wife

Kolo Toure, Manchester City's Ivory Coast defender, will have to sit out the start of next season after being handed a six-month ban from football for failing a drugs test. The ban is to be back-dated to 2 March, so that there is minimal inconvenienc...

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Funny story: Hleb joins the Stone Roses and selects himself for champions league final

Hleb joins the Stone Roses and selects himself for champions league final

Arsenal, Barcelona, Stuttgart, Birmingham FC the list goes on for Footballing vagabond Alexander Hleb. The Belarusian midfielder (whose mother was a builder) has been jumping ship ever since leaving the gunners with his pathetic excuse that London...

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Funny story: Supper-Injuctions

Supper-Injuctions

Thise is the Laytexte Newe's Laitexet's bi'e Investitgratin'e Rep-otre We have of bine hearde of that theryr has of bin many storeiys what are of aboute theses supere-injuctshns what are of been happent to all suche premire legge foutballer ekc ekcet. What of is hase bine cafortin wiyth modiles gurl. Hore iss ite? Wee hav of evindense of otherr doin's ,like , whot is "suoepur-injutions"...

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Funny story: More Upheaval at Ibrox

More Upheaval at Ibrox

New Rangers owner Craig Whyte continued his purge of the Ibrox staff with 3 new appointments today. Hot on the heels of the departure of chairman Alastair Johnston and director Paul Murray, even more changes were effected by the new regime. Fir...

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Funny story: SPL Keen To Introduce British League Cup

SPL Keen To Introduce British League Cup

As part of its radical new plan to reorganise Scottish football, the SPL has proposed the reintroduction of a cross border cup tournament. SPL chief executive Neil Lancaster is keen to re-establish a cup competition between Scottish and English cl...

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Funny story: Pippa Middleton, Victoria Beckham, Coleen Rooney, Katie Price Plan Wembley Shocker For Shakira, Imogen Thomas And Pep Guardiola

Pippa Middleton, Victoria Beckham, Coleen Rooney, Katie Price Plan Wembley Shocker For Shakira, Imogen Thomas And Pep Guardiola

As rumours surface that Shakira and Imogen Thomas will be supporting Barcelona in Saturday's Champions League Final, with the whole hearted endorsement of Barca coach, Pep Guardiola, Brit icons, Pippa Middleton (of Pippawatch fame) Victoria Beckham,...

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Funny story: Tevez claims Messi is shorter than Maradona.

Tevez claims Messi is shorter than Maradona.

Below average height Carlos Tevez (5ft8") has today claimed in a national newspaper that Lionel Messi (3ft7") is even shorter than Diego Maradona (5ft5"). The Manchester Argie has also claimed that tiny midget Messi could well be the shortest foo...

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Funny story: Ryan Giggs May Be Pulled Off, Along With Chicharito

Ryan Giggs May Be Pulled Off, Along With Chicharito

Ahead of Manchester United's showcase Champions League Final against Barcelona at Wembley on Saturday, Old Trafford based sources have indicated that at some stage in the game, Ryan Giggs and Chicharito may well be pulled off. One insider said tha...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight residents planning an IOWL 'Isle of Wight League' football competition for next season

Isle of Wight residents planning an IOWL 'Isle of Wight League' football competition for next season

Residents of The Isle of Wight believe they have enough talented football players to start a 'League of their own' and therefore interested residents across he Isle are busy organizing try-outs for teams. Mayors of each village do admit that they...

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Funny story: Bert Trautmann: from Nazi paratrooper to hero of Manchester City

Bert Trautmann: from Nazi paratrooper to hero of Manchester City

When Bert Trautmann arrived at Manchester City in 1949, 20,000 protested against his signing. By the time he left, he was lauded as the bravest man in British sport. Trautmann was replacing the recently retired Frank Swift, one of the greatest keepers in the club's history. Though privately expressing doubts about the signing, club captain Eric Westwood, a Normandy veteran, made a public dis...

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