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Funny satire stories about Football (Soccer)

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Funny story: Michael Jackson's statue to be new Fulham manager

Michael Jackson's statue to be new Fulham manager

The statue of Michael Jackson is poised to become the new manager at Craven Cottage. Fulham owner Mohamed Al Fayed has been locked in talks with the statue all day and has finally got his man. The 'mover and shaker' Al Fayed has told reporters...

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Funny story: Dundee United Fans Help Out Club

Dundee United Fans Help Out Club

Dundee United fans have volunteered to do work at their ground in an attempt to save the club money. The Tangerine supporters have followed the lead from their rivals across the road - Dundee , who only recently came out of their second period of...

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Funny story: 'Northern Bastard' Allardyce sacked by West Ham

'Northern Bastard' Allardyce sacked by West Ham

West Ham have terminated the contract of manager Sam Allardyce with immediate effect. East End owner David Sullivan claims to have been led down the garden path by Big Sam and told reporters: "We found out on Twitter that he is a dirty Northern...

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Funny story: "World Cup will only be hosted by countries who pay me the most," declares FIFA boss!

"World Cup will only be hosted by countries who pay me the most," declares FIFA boss!

Austrian FIFA boss, Sepp Blatter, is changing future bids for countries hoping to host the World Cup. He has had enough of other FIFA board members being charmed with mega-bucks and bribed to vote for certain oil-rich countries. In the future, the co...

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Funny story: The late Osama Bin Laden in running for FIFA presidency

The late Osama Bin Laden in running for FIFA presidency

Just when Sepp Blatter thought it was safe to deposit slush-hush money in his Swiss bank account, a late, second candidate has blown in and declared himself for the controversial presidency of international football association FIFA. The late Osam...

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Funny story: Nonce had photos of female tennis players in his shed

Nonce had photos of female tennis players in his shed

Retired Maths teacher Eric Nonce faces further questioning by Dorking Vice Squad. The member of the public has already been named as the one who used crossword expertise to 'out' Celebrity Imogen Thomas as' A Smooth Minge' during a local Surrey Qu...

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Funny story: Bubble Bath for Allardyce

Bubble Bath for Allardyce

Bouncing bubbles greeted new West Ham manager Sam Allardyce as he stepped from cloud nine on his journey to Upton Park where he was to meet the loyal supporters of West Ham United. Before throwing Sam (whose American Uncle is well known in the Sta...

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Funny story: Scottish Football League Sponsors Pull Out Amidst "Hopeless" Claims

Scottish Football League Sponsors Pull Out Amidst "Hopeless" Claims

The SFL has been thrown into turmoil after their 2 main sponsors refused to renew their sponsorship. Willie's Bargain Basement Supplies of Coatbridge and Pennystretchers of Forfar took the decision in the wake of fresh allegations by an SFL execut...

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Funny story: Red-Headed Devil retires and Liverpool rejoice!

Red-Headed Devil retires and Liverpool rejoice!

A sad day in all of Manchester, the "Red-Headed Devil" Pauls Scholes, has retired, hung up his boots and his mischief. One of the greatest players ever to grace the turf of the Theatre of Dreams, Scholes'y, will be sadly missed apart from in the "...

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Funny story: Premier League Is Going To The Dogs If We Let The Welsh In - Says Bigot

Premier League Is Going To The Dogs If We Let The Welsh In - Says Bigot

Even Cardiff appeared to be in celebratory mood, as Swansea City secured promotion to the Premier League, courtesy of a 4-2 victory over Reading at Wembley on Bank Holiday Monday. However, the Swans' ascent into the top flight has not been univers...

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Funny story: Carlos Tevez Threatens to Eat Four Cucumbers and a Tomato if Manchester City Don't Shape Up

Carlos Tevez Threatens to Eat Four Cucumbers and a Tomato if Manchester City Don't Shape Up

Argentinian mercenary Manchester City footballer, Carlos Tevez, has threatened to eat four cucumbers and a tomato if Sheikh Mansour doesn't shape up and increase his wages by a staggering 250% It is thought that Tevez's agent believes that his cli...

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Funny story: Concern As Football Supporter Defections Reach New High

Concern As Football Supporter Defections Reach New High

Football supporters' clubs have expressed concern about the ease with which fans now switch club allegiances. 'It's changing the face of football,' lamented George "Kicker" Boot, the supporters' club chairman of, bottom of League Two, Stockport Co...

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Funny story: Sepp Blatter faces long, hard election to FIFA

Sepp Blatter faces long, hard election to FIFA

Sepp Blatter, chief gropenfuhrer of football association FIFA, faced an uphill struggle in the presidential election for the organisation. With a huge field of candidates of just himself for the post, including current incumbent Said Bladder, and...

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Funny story: Paul Scholes Retires and jumps at coaching role

Paul Scholes Retires and jumps at coaching role

Carrot top Paul Scholes has finally called it quits and announced his long awaited retirement as a professional footballer. Starting his career at Manchester United in 1994, he has played at the top level in 676 games. Alex Ferguson said over t...

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Funny story: Sepp Blatter denies 'having it off' with camel

Sepp Blatter denies 'having it off' with camel

FIFA president Sepp Blatter is to be hauled before by The Ethics Committee again. Despite body swerving the bung charges, Sheep Bleater's recent 'activities' are making him look like a 'goner'. The 'football Godfather' is being accused by a s...

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Funny story: Michael Owen eager to offset future medical bills with extended Man U stay

Michael Owen eager to offset future medical bills with extended Man U stay

Out-of-contract striker Michael Owen has re-iterated his desire to offset his future medical bills by extending the amount of time he has spent in the luxuriant surroundings of Manchester United's treatment room by a further year. The 31-year-old,...

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Funny story: Kenny Miller In Race Row

Kenny Miller In Race Row

Scotland's Kenny Miller has provoked a race row after suggesting that referee Mark Whitby disallowed a penalty claim and also booked the striker in Sunday's Carling Nations Cup fixture because he's Scottish. The former Rangers forward was incensed...

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