FROM THE WHITE HOUSE: White House spokesman, Jay Carney, confirmed this morning that a NATO drone based at Offutt Air Base in Omaha, Nebraska, completed its intended mission by gunning down Isadore "Izzy" Grundfield as he entered his hog barn on a fa...
WASHINGTON: President Barack Obama triumphantly pounded his chest after hearing from the Pentagon that his old friend, Moamar Gaddafi, finally had his ticket punched. "I'm on a fucking roll," he told his golfing partners this morning. "Let's pre...
Michelle Bachmann joined the other Republican presidential candidates today in condemning Obama for the killing of Libyan leader Moammar Gaddafi. "Do you know how hard it is to find good kowtowing dictators?" said Bachmann, echoing the sentiment...
NEW YORK CITY - If there's anything a comedian can say about the upcoming presidential elections it's that it's fun watching Republicans spar with each other. Thus far, politicians have managed not to disappoint. Rick Perry always feels he has th...
WASHINGTON DC - The minute that President Barack Obama heard that his children were not sleeping by their 8pm curfew because they were watching the reruns of the Kardashians, he cringed and grimaced unfavorably toward the thought of it. He immedi...
Washington - It's a genius master-stroke by the President, destined to wipe out America's entire trillion-dollar overdraft thanks to soaring world gold bullion prices. Pictured this week a massive 100ft x 100ft crater off the North Lawn confirms t...
CHICAGO - The former governor of Illinois who was convicted on attempts to sell Barack Obama's senate seat among other corruption charges has a new line of threats for the powers that he used to be. "Don't think I will actually use the money I go...
President Obama, who some say is a socialist at heart, today validated those with that opinion by requesting help from Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao in dismantling the failing capitalistic system that has served the United States for over 200 years.
Washington, DC U.S. President Obama has requested that NATO and the United Nations establish a no-fly zone over the United States to protect protesters from his fleet of drones that carry Hellfire missiles. "In light of my recent drunken assassi...
WASHINGTON DC - In an unprecedented political gesture, Republican primary contender Herman Cain did for the first time what no one has ever done in the history of American presidency, he challenged Barack Obama to a one-on-one basketball game. Wh...
WASHINGTON DC - On Friday afternoon, Vice President Joe Biden, also known to Obama's children as Uncle Joe, was the only person available to take the Obama girls to their pediatric appointments. In fact, 'Uncle Joe' usually takes the girls becaus...
Considered one of the greatest fights of 20th century boxing, the Thrilla in Manila between Muhammad Ali and Joe Frazier for the Heavy Weight Boxing Championship of the World, was fought in Quezon City, Philippines on October 1, 1975. The bout was...
The coverage of the lunatic fringe protest, also known as Occupy Wall Street, started on Fox news. Like few other news stories the Fox creates, it spread to other news outlets. These lunatic protestors are known as the other 99% of the American popul...
Brussels - A committee of Europe's leading economists, bankers and nutritionists have developed a simple solution to end the European debt crisis. They propose converting the Euro from a currency into a candy bar. "Currently, we are printing euros...
Last week was a historical moment for assassinations, as the US shot a missile at it's first US citizen, Omar al Awlaki. Jay Carney, the white house press secretary, claimed that this was the first of many actions that will make America more American...
GOP Presidential candidate Michele Bachmann announced today that she has "indisputable proof" that co-candidate Mitch Romney is gay. "Just look at that hair," she said, "and those teeth. Nobody looks that good unless they're either a movie star o...
BRISTOL, Conn.--Evidently, stating the painfully obvious can land you in hot water in this country. ESPN yanked Hank Williams Jr.'s song, "Are you ready for some football?", from the opening of Monday Night Football, after the country warbler comp...
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