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Funny satire stories about suicide

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Funny story: Environmental Suicide

Environmental Suicide

Crazy Woman Creek CO, July 5, 2076: Republicans and Democrats began emerging from their hiding places in Wyoming, Colorado, Kansas and elsewhere.

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Funny story: Scots Twice as Likely to Kill Self and Others, Not Necessarily in that Order!

Scots Twice as Likely to Kill Self and Others, Not Necessarily in that Order!

The BBC reports that a recent study of mental health in Scotland shows a dramatic north-south divide over homicide and suicide.

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Funny story: Japanese snow monkeys commit mass seppuku in protest of habitat loss

Japanese snow monkeys commit mass seppuku in protest of habitat loss

Carrying out what is believed to be a perfectly planned and orchestrated move, 25,000 macaques across Japan ritually disembowelled themselves at lunch time yesterday, to protest the ongoing destruction of their habitat.

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Funny story: Criminal suicide to be legalised

Criminal suicide to be legalised

In an effort to reduce soaring prison population the European Union have announced moves to make suicide by those in captivity legal.

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Funny story: Report published linking country music to suicide

Report published linking country music to suicide

Two Armenian sociologists, unable to get a job in their local kebab store in Luton, have published a report on the effect of country music on suicide. This is the the first time that something we all know and fear, namely a Dolly Parton, John Denver...

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Funny story: Deborah Jean Palfrey was killed by the Christian church and the US Government

Deborah Jean Palfrey was killed by the Christian church and the US Government

Allow me to put down my usual pie-in-the-face for a moment. Deborah Jean Palfrey, whether she committed suicide or not, was killed by the religious right and the United States government.

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Funny story: Crappy websites may cause suicides

Crappy websites may cause suicides

People surfing the web are more likely to commit suicide than people who watch Fox television, a study says.

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Funny story: Tony Resko Comes to al-Sayyid Moqtada al-Sadr

Tony Resko Comes to al-Sayyid Moqtada al-Sadr

Tony Resko: Godfather, al-Sayyid, I come to you with all due respect and all praise and honor to Allah and San Guiseppe. Oh Great al-Sayyid of the two double-uus, I would never disturb you on this blessed day when you art so occupied in the slaughter of the occupying infidels. May Saint Jude, the Blessed Mother and Mohammed bless and guide your every suicide bomber, I mean, holy martyr.

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Funny story: All Depressed Policemen to be Transferred to Bridgend

All Depressed Policemen to be Transferred to Bridgend

Chief Superintendent Plod the Spokesperson for the Association of Chief Police Officers, has announced that all depressed Policemen serving in the UK, would immediately be transferred to South Wales Police, and be based at Bridgend.

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Funny story: Lack Of Bridgend Hangings Means Town Is Improving, Says WTB

Lack Of Bridgend Hangings Means Town Is Improving, Says WTB

A distinct lack of any significant hangings in the Welsh town of Bridgend recently, is an indicator of just how far the town has come in such a short space of time, and how safe and idyllic

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Funny story: Bridgend Suicide Link Found

Bridgend Suicide Link Found

The tragic glut of suicides sweeping across the little Welsh hamlet of Bridgend doesn't seem to be slowing down, with another teenage suicide today. A journalist is so concerned that he has put up a £5,000 reward for any information revealing a l...

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Funny story: Bridgend Hangings Prompt Council To Erect Gallows

Bridgend Hangings Prompt Council To Erect Gallows

Council chiefs in Bridgend are to erect a gallows after the suicide rate in the Welsh town has recently soared to an all-time high, and has attracted a record number of tourists clamouring for a gawp. Two more hangings this week have brought the t...

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Funny story: Cupid Found Dead

Cupid Found Dead

Cupid, one of the smallest yet most powerful cherubs has been found dead.

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Funny story: Henman Hill Becomes Suicide Blackspot

Henman Hill Becomes Suicide Blackspot

Wimbledon, England - It pains this reporter to report this, but Henman Hill, that landmark of 20th century British culture and once a gathering place for our nation's proud people, has become a suicide blackspot as the repercussions of hero Tim H...

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Funny story: Man Who Killed Himself in Woolworths was Trainee Suicide Bomber

Man Who Killed Himself in Woolworths was Trainee Suicide Bomber

Police have revealed that a man who killed himself in a Woolworth's store was training to be a suicide bomber.

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Funny story: Another Chinese airplane threatens ceremonial suicide to preserve its country's honor; lands safely at Kansai airport without incident

Another Chinese airplane threatens ceremonial suicide to preserve its country's honor; lands safely at Kansai airport without incident

Tokyo, Japan - A second Chinese airplane this week that was unable to face the ridicule and shaming by other airplanes from across the world at International Airports for its county's recent scandal for poison dog food, contaminate fish, lead tai...

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Funny story: Harry Potter Crisis Hotline gets badly needed assistance from Dr. Kevorkian

Harry Potter Crisis Hotline gets badly needed assistance from Dr. Kevorkian

London, England - The Harry Potter Crisis Hotline is setup to take calls from fans, many whom are emotionally ill-equip to handle the conclusion of the series, let alone the rumored loss major charters in J.K. Rowling's final installation, "...

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