A new exercise initiative has been announced today by a group called WellFit4Work which is designed to reduce the sedentary aspect of many people's jobs. WellFit4Work is a joint venture between the Government and industry to combat obesity and lack...
San Francisco, CA- Harrison Hendricks, 16, severed political ties with his new-age hippie father last Thursday by getting a job. The move came to Harrison after months of introspective thought and debate. "I realized that there are some thin...
An exhaustive study carried out by experts from two British Universities over three years has shown that there is now only an 13% happiness difference on the Mallard-Roberts scale, comparing achievement/satisfaction/lifestyle. The respected measu...
"I had a good job in the North East, got the management promotion I'd always dreamed about but before I knew it I was out on my ear" Steve's story is one that is being told throughout the UK. Before being made redundant last year McHeron (check with Steve McClaren's agent if name change is ok - Editor) had worked for two years for profit making body the Football Association. He knows wh...
Washington D.C.- President Barack Obama announced White House layoffs today blaming Republicans in Congress. "I can't believe the Republicans in Congress. They refuse to set aside partisan politics, bitter in-fighting, and all-around rude behav...
(Washington, DC) -- Yesterday, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi defended her seemingly erroneous statement that without a stimulus package "500 million Americans lose their jobs every month." Pelosi clarified the figure, stating "I was including...
There was more terrible news for the British economy tonight, when it was announced by numerous television weather forecasters that more than 50,000 snowmen jobs are to go this week. The job losses are widespread, and no area of the country has es...
After the failure of National Sausage Day, and National Toilet Paper Day, the Department of Stupidly Named Days did not hold out much hope for the latest initiative: National Sickie Day. The first Monday in February has been dubbed National Sickie...
In office for less than a month, Barack Obama's Executive Orders have worked miracles in the employment area of his bailout plan. Already there has been a sharp increase in the job market for positions in the field of health care, private security fi...
In a joint operation, the first ever of its kind, DEFRA, and the NHS along with the Food Standards Agency and the Health and Safety Executive are about to unveil their latest barmy plans. A a time when the credit crunch is crippling UK businesses,...
1. I would not allow this employee to breed. 2. This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more definitely a won't be. 3. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap. 4. When she stops to open her mouth, it seems it is only to change whichever foot was previously there. 5. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle. 6. Thi...
It has finally happened on this date, the last remaining private sector employee was made redundant from the only privately owned company left in the country. Hengist Excaliber Stickleback, owner operator and only employee of Stickleback Producti...
Barton, Arkansas- You probably have already noticed it some time ago but WallyMart has been hiring employees from Mental Health facilities and earning for themselves some great publicity, but there's actually more to the story according to WWGG TV undercover correspondant, Harley Dinwitty: They hire those people because they will work cheap. They put the slowest ones up front and tell them, '...
Phyllis Scrunge, a Smegmadale great-grandmother, celebrated her 100th birthday today by receiving a telegram from the Queen then going out and doing an eight hour coal heaving shift. Mrs. Scrunge, who has buried five husbands (two while still bre...
In a new employment initiative announced yesterday the UK government announced that it is to set up a chain of 200 recruitment agencies. The recruiters will recruit more recruiters for more recruitment agencies until there is a recruitment agency...
With the US suffering its highest unemployment rates in decades two prominent government departments claim that they have had to hire foreign workers to fill essential spots. Gates of the Pentagon says that he couldn't find US doctors, nurses and...
It has been revealed that during the early 1970s when economic times were getting harder and the government wanting to make unemployment look better, with so many looking for work the best thing to kill two birds with one stone was to create a new go...
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