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Funny satire stories about employment

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Funny story: How talented Europeans are taking our jobs and ruining our England

How talented Europeans are taking our jobs and ruining our England

"I had a good job in the North East, got the management promotion I'd always dreamed about but before I knew it I was out on my ear" Steve's story is one that is being told throughout the UK. Before being made redundant last year McHeron (check with Steve McClaren's agent if name change is ok - Editor) had worked for two years for profit making body the Football Association. He knows wh...

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Funny story: President Obama announces White House layoffs

President Obama announces White House layoffs

Washington D.C.- President Barack Obama announced White House layoffs today blaming Republicans in Congress. "I can't believe the Republicans in Congress. They refuse to set aside partisan politics, bitter in-fighting, and all-around rude behav...

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Funny story: Pelosi's "500 Million Americans" Included Illegals

Pelosi's "500 Million Americans" Included Illegals

(Washington, DC) -- Yesterday, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi defended her seemingly erroneous statement that without a stimulus package "500 million Americans lose their jobs every month." Pelosi clarified the figure, stating "I was including...

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Funny story: 50,000 Snowmen Jobs To Go

50,000 Snowmen Jobs To Go

There was more terrible news for the British economy tonight, when it was announced by numerous television weather forecasters that more than 50,000 snowmen jobs are to go this week. The job losses are widespread, and no area of the country has es...

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Funny story: National Sickie Day: A Success

National Sickie Day: A Success

After the failure of National Sausage Day, and National Toilet Paper Day, the Department of Stupidly Named Days did not hold out much hope for the latest initiative: National Sickie Day. The first Monday in February has been dubbed National Sickie...

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Funny story: Obama's Executive Orders Work Miracles

Obama's Executive Orders Work Miracles

In office for less than a month, Barack Obama's Executive Orders have worked miracles in the employment area of his bailout plan. Already there has been a sharp increase in the job market for positions in the field of health care, private security fi...

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Funny story: You Can't Eat That! - Employers to Police your lunchbox

You Can't Eat That! - Employers to Police your lunchbox

In a joint operation, the first ever of its kind, DEFRA, and the NHS along with the Food Standards Agency and the Health and Safety Executive are about to unveil their latest barmy plans. A a time when the credit crunch is crippling UK businesses,...

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Funny story: Great lines from actual job evaluations

Great lines from actual job evaluations

1. I would not allow this employee to breed. 2. This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more definitely a won't be. 3. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap. 4. When she stops to open her mouth, it seems it is only to change whichever foot was previously there. 5. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle. 6. Thi...

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Funny story: Private Sector Employment Ends

Private Sector Employment Ends

It has finally happened on this date, the last remaining private sector employee was made redundant from the only privately owned company left in the country. Hengist Excaliber Stickleback, owner operator and only employee of Stickleback Producti...

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Funny story: WallyMart Hiring Low IQ

WallyMart Hiring Low IQ

Barton, Arkansas- You probably have already noticed it some time ago but WallyMart has been hiring employees from Mental Health facilities and earning for themselves some great publicity, but there's actually more to the story according to WWGG TV undercover correspondant, Harley Dinwitty: They hire those people because they will work cheap. They put the slowest ones up front and tell them, '...

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Funny story: Centenarians Top UK Workforce

Centenarians Top UK Workforce

Phyllis Scrunge, a Smegmadale great-grandmother, celebrated her 100th birthday today by receiving a telegram from the Queen then going out and doing an eight hour coal heaving shift. Mrs. Scrunge, who has buried five husbands (two while still bre...

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Funny story: Gordon's Recruitment Pyramid Scheme

Gordon's Recruitment Pyramid Scheme

In a new employment initiative announced yesterday the UK government announced that it is to set up a chain of 200 recruitment agencies. The recruiters will recruit more recruiters for more recruitment agencies until there is a recruitment agency...

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Funny story: Gates at Pentagon and Henderson at Homeland Recruit Foreign Workers

Gates at Pentagon and Henderson at Homeland Recruit Foreign Workers

With the US suffering its highest unemployment rates in decades two prominent government departments claim that they have had to hire foreign workers to fill essential spots. Gates of the Pentagon says that he couldn't find US doctors, nurses and...

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Funny story: What Is The Purpose For Having Jobcentres?

What Is The Purpose For Having Jobcentres?

It has been revealed that during the early 1970s when economic times were getting harder and the government wanting to make unemployment look better, with so many looking for work the best thing to kill two birds with one stone was to create a new go...

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Funny story: Customers now getting service at Home Store

Customers now getting service at Home Store

One upside of the deteriorating economy -- customers are now receiving service at Home Store stores. We met Jane Turner in the parking lot of the Akron (OH) store; an employee was loading bags of sand and gutter downspouts into the back of her SU...

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Funny story: Men encouraged to include threesomes on their CVs

Men encouraged to include threesomes on their CVs

Bosses are urging male applicants to include details of participation in threesomes with two women, on their curricula vitae on the grounds that there is no greater achievement for a man. "We like our applicants to graduate with first class honour...

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Funny story: National Employment Committee seeks Chair

National Employment Committee seeks Chair

The newly established National Employment Committee, headed by a hard-working and equally hard expenses-claiming Minister is seeking a new Chair. The Committee, comprised of ever-so-hard-working business people aims to help the less-hard-working b...

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