Following thousands of reported zombie sightings in the UK, Downing Street this afternoon officially placed the nation on Red Alert. Emergency call centres have been inundated with calls from terrified homeowners claiming to have spotted zombies i...
DENMARK - After downtown Copenhagen was evacuated amid the onslaught of 'climate zombies', the zombies launched an assault on the building holding the international delegates and convened their own climate conference. Initially, it was hoped that...
'Our perspective on the world's climate has been consistently ignored by the AGW (anthropogenic global warming) climate consensus', says Jill Morgenstern, the CEO of the 'Our Planet Has A Fever Project' (OPHAFP). 'All these people are running arou...
DENMARK - WRITHERS AGENCY - Danish officials have announced a 'crash campaign' to completely evacuate the city of Copenhagen, when flesh-eating zombies invading the city proved too much for riot police. 'Downtown Copenhagen is Hell on Earth', said...
Americans are asked to be on the lookout this weekend. The reason for this alert seems to revolve around the fact that in past years there have been increased reports of zombies. Not just your run-of-the-mill Zombie, but turkey Zombies. Iben Z...
Panic was palpable in the streets of London earlier today, as the city was seemingly taken over by the living dead. It occurred at about 10:45am when the first re-animated corpse was spotted shuffling along Westminster Bridge. Onlookers were ba...
NAIROBI and MINDINAO - Experts on genetic modification of crops from the Amsterdam-based multinational Greenprice International are forecasting a surge of what observers calls 'GMO zombies'. 'Our experts in Africa and the Philippines have found th...
In Toledo, Ohio, November 15th, 2009, 10 university students at went missing but reappeared 36 hours later. They were not approached with open arms because of their rotting skin and dried blood around their mouths. They went missing around the H1N1...
The gang gather in the dilapidated house. Dastardly Deano is nowhere to be seen. Outside the storm rumbles on. Lightning streaks the sky, thunder rumbles, the wind howls, and the rain floods down in torrents. "Where'd he go?" Buck shouts. "Fucker disappeared innit," Nick says. Then something strange happens. There's a chattering sound, and the pitter patter of feet on bare floorboar...
"Hold it right there!" the skinny guy in the bad suit shouts. He's stood behind a goggle eyed woman, one hand clamped over her mouth, the other holding a knife to her throat. "You take one step...just one step and she's history. I mean it." The woman squeals. Buck, Abel Zorro and Nick exchange furtive glances. Abel Zorro steps forward, AK in one hand, sabre in the other. His eyes na...
Our friends tread carefully into the dilapidated house. It's a dump, but at least they can hear the raging storm outside, so they understand that they are rapidly approaching freedom... When a voice cuts them all to the quick. As opposed to cutting them to the slow. Which would be taking dramatic license too far. All they could hear prior to this interruption was the sound of their...
Angie is feeling deflated because she never got the chance to sing her karaoke version of Gloria Gaynor's feminist anthem, 'I Will Survive.' Her nipples haven't given up the ghost just yet though. They're as upstanding as a pair of Chrysler wheel nuts. Boyfriend Todd isn't much consolation either. Not since Angie learned that her mother gave him a blow job. She's really pissed off. "Ba...
It happened once again last week apparently as witnesses say that they saw former First Lady Nancy Reagan leading someone into the cemetery once again. Friends and even one family member who asked to remain anonymous told this reporter that it was...
Ninja Zombie Sluts on Ice, the newest production for the people who produce The Ice Capades, will open in town next week for a three day, five showing run. The show is directed by Ted Brockmeyer, the man responsible for "Disney Princesses on Ice," "...
Evans City, Pennsylvania - Stan Hebeman, 42, is a self-described expert on what he calls "Dead" films, and secretly has been yearning for a zombie uprising for years. Stan knows, and can intelligently comment on, all five of George Romero's "livin...
Todd, and the rest of the gang, led by Abel Zorro, having passed through the trapdoor, slosh along through the sewers in search of Buck, Nick, and Lola of the luscious lips. Fran is sticking mighty close to Abel Zorro, who in turn is marching into the darkness with the sound of dripping water assaulting his eardrums. Abel Zorro has a sense of purpose. All he wants to do is find Buck and Nick an...
If today's society were ever attacked by zombies, according to a recent major study by a Think Tank that put the study of the Swine Flu on hold, we would probably be screwed, and quickly. Also, killed. That was the conclusion of several university...
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