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Funny story: Latest NASA blockbuster a flop!

Latest NASA blockbuster a flop!

Box office records for the latest NASA blockbuster based on an unmanned landing on planet Mars have proved disappointing. Filmed at the massive open air studio known as 'Area 51', the latest would be blockbuster was shot in the barren desert there...

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Funny story: First contact received from outside our solar system? Aliens don't want to eat us, says former SETI director

First contact received from outside our solar system? Aliens don't want to eat us, says former SETI director

We the people of the planet earth have for the past hundred years or so been beaming out radio and television signals into the vastness of the Universe. Never mind that most of what we have been beaming out makes us look like a collective bunch of intergalactic war mongering morons to any intelligent beings capable of receiving those signals, the reality is, that unless we are the only planet in t...

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Funny story: Cosmologists answer science's biggest question: What colour is space?

Cosmologists answer science's biggest question: What colour is space?

Space, according to Douglas Adams at least, is big. Very big. But what does Douglas Adams know? Cosmologists already know it's so much bigger than that. What they didn't know was what colour space was. They know it smells of fish and tastes of roa...

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Funny story: Duke accused of "Solar Hogging"

Duke accused of "Solar Hogging"

Residents of an exclusive area of Stalybridge were up in arms this week after accusing a local aristocrat of stealing their share of the days sunlight. The leafy stockbroker area of Mottram Rise was close to mutiny as the last of a vast array of s...

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Funny story: China to Open Laundry and Take Away Restaurant on the Moon

China to Open Laundry and Take Away Restaurant on the Moon

China's historic spacecraft docking mission this month will involve a female astronaut, so she can help with the washing up and taking orders from the first ever Chinese Restaurant in space. She may also lead sheet folding operations at the adjacent...

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Funny story: "Transit of Venus doesn't Count" - TSA

"Transit of Venus doesn't Count" - TSA

TSA Headquarters, Washington, DC - The recent transit of Venus will go into the record books with an asterisk, according to the Transit Space Authority. "She jumped the turnstile without putting in a token", complained TSA spokesman Buckler Q. Cro...

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Funny story: Ford Transit Found On The Sun!

Ford Transit Found On The Sun!

Sky watchers and astronomers alike are said to be amazed following a sensational once in a lifetime occurrence, when a black 1977 Ford Transit appeared on the Sun earlier today. It's strongly suspected that the van, Reg No. HGT 432 S, is a piece o...

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Funny story: NASA Rover on Way to Mars; Martians See Big Payday

NASA Rover on Way to Mars; Martians See Big Payday

The name of the Rover is Curiosity. It should arrive on Mars in about three months, and it's designed to do scientific research and take photos. "In their dreams," said a Martian yesterday, scratching his pointy little head as he t...

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Funny story: Billionaires to Build Out of This World Brothel and Casino

Billionaires to Build Out of This World Brothel and Casino

This morning, Mikhail Prokhorov, Stanley Ho, Donald Trump and four unnamed Russian oligarchs proudly announced the formation of a new enterprise to boldly recruit lithe tubal ligated young virginal women from other galaxies to become "hostesses" on a...

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Funny story: Parallel Universe Blows; Perpendicular Universe Where It's At

Parallel Universe Blows; Perpendicular Universe Where It's At

A newly published report by Dr. Beatrice Bender, Director of the New Center for Science, dismisses parallel universes as a waste of time; according to Dr. Bender, the perpendicular universe is where it's at. Announced Dr. Bender, "People want scie...

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Funny story: Microsoft's Pig Bombed by Angry Birds from Space

Microsoft's Pig Bombed by Angry Birds from Space

Unless you are an Angry Birds game fan, this headline will be of no use to you, but owners of the Angry Birds franchise have said "no" to offering their new "Space" game version on Microsoft mobile devices. Making the business decision to stick to...

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Funny story: Irish Astronomers: Vensus will collide with Jupiter Friday, Will it spell the end? American astronomers say 'Poppycock!"

Irish Astronomers: Vensus will collide with Jupiter Friday, Will it spell the end? American astronomers say 'Poppycock!"

DUBLIN (ABSNN) -- Irish astronomers told the press today that the planets Venus and Jupiter will collide at 0327 GMT this coming Friday. The two planets seem only inches away this evening and may be seen in the Western sky said astronomers. "We'r...

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Funny story: US outlaws satire: too hard to understand; primaries enough

US outlaws satire: too hard to understand; primaries enough

In a startling reverse of policies dating from the Revolutionary period, the U.S. has suspended the constitution and instituted censorship of all satire whether written or spoken. Comedians and writers are left stunned, as much as by facing the need...

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Funny story: British Space Industry finally ready for take-off

British Space Industry finally ready for take-off

After seventy years in the planning, the British Space Industry is finally ready to launch it's first astro-noughts this summer. "It's a little known fact," said Brian Cox, "but Britain invented space-travel. All the technology other countries use...

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Funny story: Brian Cox Gets Rocket Over Switch Channel Comments

Brian Cox Gets Rocket Over Switch Channel Comments

TV space boffin Brian Cox has been given a "rocket up the arse" by BBC bosses for urging members of his audience to change channels. Cox was presenting the second episode in BBC2's three-night astronomy spectacular Stargazing Live with Irish comic...

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Funny story: NASA Boffins Tell Optimistic Inventor To Put Device "Where The Sun Don't Shine"

NASA Boffins Tell Optimistic Inventor To Put Device "Where The Sun Don't Shine"

Local inventor, Sid Shelf, is looking forward to fame and fortune following a meeting to discuss his latest device with space boffins in California. As we reported yesterday, Mr Shelf took his "Space Scrubber" to show NASA scientists at the Jet Pr...

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Funny story: China Sending Men to the Moon to Build a Lunar iPad Factory

China Sending Men to the Moon to Build a Lunar iPad Factory

Beijing -- China has revealed the purpose of its manned missions to the moon. The Chinese want to construct their next electronics assembly plant there as the first step toward using the moon as a manufacturing zone. "It's no secret that our count...

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