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Funny satire stories about Smoking

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Funny story: Government Introduces New Collectable Cigarette Packets

Government Introduces New Collectable Cigarette Packets

Today the "Government" has introduced collectable cigarette packets for the first time, following the success of packets with written warnings of impending doom such as, "smoking kills." The new, more colourful, packets will have pictures of cripp...

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Funny story: Bill Clinton to promote cigars

Bill Clinton to promote cigars

In the wake of Hilary Clinton's unsuccessful attempt for the presidential candidacy, husband Bill has agreed to promote and advocate the once popular cigar. The former president is unconcerned by his spurious connection with the stogey (re the Mo...

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Funny story: UK smoking ban causes more clouds

UK smoking ban causes more clouds

Top UK scientist Professor Hugh Jarse revealed this week that the UK wide ban on smoking inside buildings had caused an abundance of cloud formations. "A six month study of the skies above the city of London offices has shown 20% more cloud covera...

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Funny story: London borough employs daleks to deal with smokers

London borough employs daleks to deal with smokers

Are you a smoker who uses a pub in Westminster? Do you carelessly drop your cigarette butt on the ground? From October you could end up being exterminated. This is a new measure by Westminster City Council to deal with the problems of discarded c...

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Funny story: Smoking remains bad for health

Smoking remains bad for health

Results of a recent study reveal that although smoking remains devastating to general health, it is really cool. The study was headed by Margret Net who explains that "it is really cool to smoke, but you will die early…it's a bit of a pickle!" alt...

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Funny story: London 2012 Olympic Flame To Be Lit By EastEnders' Dot Cotton

London 2012 Olympic Flame To Be Lit By EastEnders' Dot Cotton

The extravagant opening ceremony at the Beijing Olympic Games, has inspired the organisers of the London 2012 Games, to ask Dot Cotton of the BBC1 soap EastEnders, to light the 2012 Olympic flame with one of her tab ends. After the organisers witn...

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Funny story: "ChemicalMcC" Supports Covert Operations in Iranian Lungs

"ChemicalMcC" Supports Covert Operations in Iranian Lungs

Repub candie John McCain has advanced a secret foreign policy initiative to spread cancer causing agents into the lungs of Iranians. Tar, nicotine and toxic chemical additives are being shipped to Iran in the guise of US produced cigarettes.

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Funny story: 'Cigarettes Are Good For You' Shock Conclusion

'Cigarettes Are Good For You' Shock Conclusion

In a surprising report yesterday, scientists at Liverpool University concluded that cigarettes are good for you. 'We were shocked initially at our findings' said a spokesman,' but it would appear that all the fuss about heart disease and...

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Funny story: Darts Champ Caught Jogging

Darts Champ Caught Jogging

English darts champion Darryl Fitton has been shamed following the release of footage showing him performing a morning jog and not smoking.

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Funny story: Tisch, Tisch...Tisch Family Causes Increase in Kool Cancer

Tisch, Tisch...Tisch Family Causes Increase in Kool Cancer

The prop plane trailed its banner across the summer sky before the eyes of Tisch family fellow beach club members announcing: "Larry Tisch Sells Cancer Sticks!"...

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Funny story: Tobacco manufacturers vindicated as throat cancer blamed on oral sex

Tobacco manufacturers vindicated as throat cancer blamed on oral sex

London - (20-a-day Mess): British Imperial Cancer Industries are feeling very pleased with themselves after successfully hiring Dr Andrew Wakefield-type quacks to blame throat cancer on dodgy oral sex practices.

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Funny story: "Blacks R Kool; They Love Menthol": FDA

"Blacks R Kool; They Love Menthol": FDA

Menthol, the drug that has hooked more African Americans to a deadly addiction than crack cocaine, is being given a free pass by anti-tobacco legislators.

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Funny story: Smokers claim World Asthma Day inflammatory, defamatory

Smokers claim World Asthma Day inflammatory, defamatory

World Asthma Day is an annual event organized by the Global Initiative for Asthma (GINA) to improve asthma awareness and prevention around the world.

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Funny story: Pub Doorways Now Most Popular Places In Britain

Pub Doorways Now Most Popular Places In Britain

Pub doorways and the entrances to shopping centres have now become the most populated places in Britain, according to smokers' groups.

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Funny story: Government proposes "cig hunts" to curb smoking

Government proposes "cig hunts" to curb smoking

In an effort to combat smoking the government has proposed legislation to force shopkeepers to hide cigarettes around their shops and time all customers attempting to purchase them. In a statement Public Health Minister Dawn Primarolo explained the...

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Funny story: Government demands ban on fags, fairies, fruits

Government demands ban on fags, fairies, fruits

Ban on shop displays of cigarettes, fresh fruits, and popular sweets like 'Box O'Pixies' has been introduced in a move designed to discourage teens from smoking, eating, thinking, or acting for themselves.

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Funny story: Smoking redhead removed from Plymouth pub

Smoking redhead removed from Plymouth pub

A woman with a penchant for smoking cheap cigarettes was removed from a Plymouth pub after refusing to extinguish one of her vile burning weeds.

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