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Funny satire stories about Scotland

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Funny story: Scottish Nationalists to return Eurosquillions winners' £1 million cheque

Scottish Nationalists to return Eurosquillions winners' £1 million cheque

Lard, Ayrshire - They famously scooped £161 million on the Lot and wowed Alex Salmond with their £1 million SNP bung. Today Michelin Man lookalikes Colin and Chris Weird (sic) face the ignominy (WTF that? - 'Ed') of seeing their cheque returned.

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Funny story: The Scottish Santa Claus

The Scottish Santa Claus

There are few Christmas traditions more familiar and charming than hanging up a stocking for Father Christmas, leaving him a mince pie and a carrot for his reindeer. But things are done a bit differently in Scotland. There it is customary to leave out a drop of whisky and a few cans of Stella. The Scottish Santa needs fuel to keep him going through the long, dark and blurry Scottish night. H...

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Funny story: Kate fears 'buried alive horror' as William exiled to Lossiemouth

Kate fears 'buried alive horror' as William exiled to Lossiemouth

London - Media bollox about a move to Princess Margaret Thatcher's former Kensington Palace grace and favor bolthole were dealt a death blow today. An RAF announcement has confirmed Kate Middleton's chopper pilot husband William is to be sectioned...

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Funny story: New Scottish pricing policy to cost food in units of alcohol that could be purchased

New Scottish pricing policy to cost food in units of alcohol that could be purchased

SNP plans to introduce a new pricing policy in Scotland where the cost of food will be equated to the alternative number of units of alcohol that could be purchased for the same cost, have been broadly welcomed. Health Secretary Nicola Sturgeon s...

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Funny story: The Scottish Invented Football

The Scottish Invented Football

New research from Glasgow University has shown that football was invented in Scotland, and not, as the history books have it, in Cambridge. "We have documentary evidence that football was being played in Glasgow as far back as 1066," said Scottish...

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Funny story: Lewis Court Seeks Solomon To Decide Cat Case

Lewis Court Seeks Solomon To Decide Cat Case

Authorities in Stornoway are seeking a legal expert named Solomon. They need the legal wizard to decide an argument between two women about who owns a cat. The case has dragged on for months as Della Macdonald and Nicola Dempster both claim own...

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Funny story: Cryhan Air build the world's biggest plane

Cryhan Air build the world's biggest plane

Cryhan Air, the budget airline based in Ireland, have commissioned the world's largest aircraft. "People thought that the 777 was the biggest plane around," said Ryan Chair, CEO of Cryhan Air. "No longer. We've commissioned the 881, which will be...

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Funny story: Scotland finally splits from England

Scotland finally splits from England

An earthquake measuring three point seven on the Richter scale has finally achieved what several decades of political wrangling between Scottish and English politicians has been unable to do: split Scotland from England. "The earthquake was only s...

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Funny story: She sells sea shells on sea shore! The shocking decline of Michelle McManus.

She sells sea shells on sea shore! The shocking decline of Michelle McManus.

Roly-Poly Pop Idol loser Michelle McManus has been uncovered on Berwick beach with a makeshift market stall. The rotund reality show 'star' shot to fame in the 2003 edition of the popular Simon Cowell show with stunning renditions of songs by Fats...

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Funny story: '9/11 UFO mothership' behind US/Mexico power outage seen over Balmoral Castle

'9/11 UFO mothership' behind US/Mexico power outage seen over Balmoral Castle

Scotland - Its Ground Zero 10th anniversary lap of honor sucked the West Coast power grid supplying five million Arizona, California and Mexico homes on Thursday. This morning the same alien flagship was spotted hovering close to the Queen's Scott...

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Funny story: Scottish Police to Merge

Scottish Police to Merge

The eight Scottish police forces are to merge over the next year to save administration costs. "This will allow us to save money," said stereotypical Scot and leader of the Scottish Parliament, Michael Moore. "Something all stereotypical Scots sho...

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Funny story: Celtic Boss Neil Lennon Found 'Not Guilty' Of Being Assaulted

Celtic Boss Neil Lennon Found 'Not Guilty' Of Being Assaulted

Celtic manager Neil Lennon has breathed a sigh of relief after a jury returned a 'not guilty' verdict in his trial at Edinburgh Sheriff Court. Lennon had been accused of being assaulted by 26-year-old Hearts fan John Wilson, whose actions were sai...

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Funny story: Stalactite App to be Developed

Stalactite App to be Developed

Cupertino, California - As news got out about a secret cave of stalactites in Scotland, Apple, Inc. has decided to create the Stalactite app. Apple plans on using web cams so that the users can see the stalactites form in real time. The Gra...

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Funny story: 'Stop Using Loch Ness As A Toilet' aliens told amid UFO 'blue ice' dump

'Stop Using Loch Ness As A Toilet' aliens told amid UFO 'blue ice' dump

Scotland - 'Mayday! Mayday! Extraterrestrial space shit attack!' The SOS message, picked up Saturday evening on marine emergency frequencies, saw Scotland's premier eerie loch trawled by rescue services after locals reported seeing a large blue b...

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Funny story: No riots in Scotland shock

No riots in Scotland shock

Scotland: First Minister Alex Salmond today hit back at news agencies for describing the riots as English riots, the Scottish Premier was shocked to find out that no riots were going on in his beloved country, and has accused the media of an English...

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Funny story: Scotland's "War on Haggis" not working

Scotland's "War on Haggis" not working

First Minister of Scotland Jock McSporran has admitted publicly that his government's policies on controlling the country's obesity problem have not been as successful as planned. Scotland introduced a ban on deep fried produce in 2010, after the Cel...

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Funny story: Aberdeen lose the top spot

Aberdeen lose the top spot

Saturday as a sad day for fans of Aberdeen football club, as the team has once again fallen from its customary top spot in Scottish football in the first gameweek. Aberdeen always seem to find themselves in the Champions League spot before a ball...

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