NATICK, Massachusetts - As was prophesied in the Ago Times, the great winged buffalo god, Catoplebas, was awakened from a thousand-year slumber by the myriad wailing of small buffalo who had been de-winged. On the eleventh hour of the tenth day of...
Rumours that the restaurant chain Baytarns are about to introduce a restriction on fat people grew yesterday. It is alleged that all customers will have to "pass though a hoop" before getting access to the all you can eat facilities. Those too fat to...
Good evening Sir. Are you ready to order? Why yes, I think I am. Very good Sir, go ahead. Who do I give my orders to? To me, Sir. That's my job, to receive your order. Right. I want you to recite Charge of The Light Brigade for me. Then I would like you to fetch the Chef and I would like you to dance a polka together. Then I want you to go and stand over there, by the castor oil p...
A report published by the Conservative pressure group, the 1690 Take No Prisoners Committee, has recommended that state schools should be run even more like businesses; in particular restaurants were cited as a suitable model for schools of the futur...
PUNTA TRAGARA, Italy - Jessica Simpson celebrated her 30th birthday with her new boyfriend, or more accurately her new 'unemployed' boyfriend Eric Johnson. Johnson, an ex New Orleans Saints football player, who was let go two years ago because he...
BEIJING: The international community seems to be so taken in with a 'powerful and rising' China. But much of what is really happening in China remains opaque - hidden from the world. China presents its facade and the global community is expected t...
Six months after the Golden Shower Chinese Restaurant in Shanklin shut its doors after the food standards agency moved in, it is set to re-open. The original accusations levelled at the restaurant, which will also do take-out after the re-launch,...
HOUSTON - After being the owners of The Vampire Sux Bar & Grill in Houston for only three months, Rob Pattinson and Kris Stewart have decided that the restaurant business is not for them. Pattinson said that both are just too busy with their v...
Most major supermarkets are now operating a Bag for Life policy. Keen to match this environmental image, restaurants are going to follow suit, and offer a Doggy Bag for Life. "Most people have a favourite restaurant," said Mark Downs, head of Grea...
Derek Acorah is set to run his own restaurant in the Rojales district in Spain. Called Viloriens he has been visiting the restaurant for nearly two decades, and on hearing that it was too close, he stepped in and bought the concern outright. "M...
With record numbers of dogs being impounded, and rocketing kennel costs - Boris Johnson has decided he will meet London's recycling targets by bringing dog onto the capital's menu for the first time. Reception for the Korean delicacy has been mixe...
New Orleans, LA - Oil executives returned back to their home-away-from-home in Louisiana after a grueling week in front of a Senate investigative panel to answer tough questions about the ongoing oil spill problem in the Gulf of Mexico. They decided...
IRVINE, CA - Mexican food chain Baco Tell announced an agreement today with a beef processors to begin selling a beef that is somehow of lower quality than what is currently offered at the restaurant chain. The deal was promoted as an effort to cont...
Nogales, Arizona - The only way Arizonans are going to get real authentic Mexican food after today is if they are fortunate enough to have made friends with some real authentic Mexicans, of if they are willing to risk life and limb trying to cross th...
'As close to the hoof as you can get without being kicked in the head.' is the motto of Dad's Chuckwagon Steakhouse out on Old Cowpoke Trail in Toecheese, Texas. And after spending the day watching this place in action, we found it to be an appropriate one, too. The host for our visit, at least initially, was Hoke Clemmons Junior, son of business owner, Hoke Senior - a man most just call 'the b...
LOS ANGELES - George Lopez, who recently starred in the illegal immigrant reality show, Run Paco Run, was seen at a local Guacamole Dip Diner dipping tortilla chips with Sandra Bullock, estranged wife of Jesse "TattoBalls" James. Lopez said that h...
Police and Coroners are investigating reports that a waiter was dragged into a lobster tank by one of the incumbent crustaceans. Derek Cheese, owner of Le Grande Fromage restaurant in Scarborough played down suggestions of killer lobster attack, sugg...
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