One of the Popes has commissioned spotter drones with "Saint scanners" in their warhead compartments. One of their first tasks will be to gain Divine evidence for the fast track Canonisation of Nelson Mandela. "This would be a real coup", a resear...
Dateline: VATICAN-Experts agree that Pope Francis has made a concerted effort to change people's impression of the Catholic Church, by adopting a less ostentatious style of public relations, leading non-Christians and Christians alike to be aston...
VATICAN CITY - And so, to sum things up. "Wait! No…..huh?" Oh yeah. In other words, more or less, recklessly composed for just such an occasion, here's an otherwise additional supply from Pope Francis, as unleashed recently via his first offi...
Spokespersons for both sides in the recent conflict generated by the Pope have rushed forward with hands outstretched and wide smiles. According to his spokespersons, the Pope is considering how to respond to recent offers from global financiers i...
VATICAN CITY - Pope Francis unleashed his how you like me now mission statement for his (so far anyway) perpetually perplexing papacy Tuesday. During which he attempted to explain - via a variety of highly suspicious words otherwise recklessly distr…
The Vatican - Faced with rising legal costs and shrinking contributions, the Catholic Church is jumping into the lucrative reality TV segment with an unscripted show that features the Son of God. "Our initial offering will be a how-to reality-ba...
The Pope's plane is reported to have been shot down over Kabul as it prepared to land. There were no survivors of the missile attack. Ex-British Prime Minister Tony Blair was a guest on board after receiving his Papal Knighthood just the day befo...
Pope Francis shocked reporters on Monday when he stated that he was "comfortable" with gay men as priests, but was quick to point out that this largesse did not extend to ordaining women to the priesthood. "Gay men may be flawed in the eyes of God, b...
BOSTON - Word coming out of the Vatican is that the Catholic Church has requested that the NFL New Orleans Saints change their name. Vatican Spokesperson Polo Pizarro, 83, said that due to the recent cheating scandals involving several players as...
Vatican City -- An offer by Pope Francis to reduce Purgatory time for Catholics who embrace the "miracle of social media" has led to a massive and sudden selloff of real estate in Purgatory. As a result, prices for Purgatory condos have been slas...
Fr. Gabriel Amorth, The Head of International Association of Exorcists which is a Vatican sanctioned organization has recently made the claim that he has rid the world of 160,000 demons and sent them back to Hell. Fr. Amorth was one of the exorcists...
ROME--Pope Francis, after astounding everyone last week by announcing that even atheists can be redeemed, went a step further today and proclaimed that all atheists are infallible. Pope Francis elaborated: "The Church has misled all of us, all of u...
VATICAN CITY- In a shameless move to win a papal dispensation, the Boston Celtics signed Pope Francis as a replacement for Kevin Garnett. The Celtics don't expect the Pope, who will wear Number One, to walk on water, but they do expect him to perf...
Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI has announced from the balcony of Castel Gandolfo the excommunication of Pope Francis. The announcement occurred on Holy Saturday and it was followed by the mandate that the newly-installed Pontiff vacate the Vatican S...
In a move that is is sure to anger somebody, the new Pope, Pope Francis the something or other, has been approached by the Argentinian government who have requested that the Falkland islands are given to Argentina. Sadly, Frank's knowledge of geog...
Rome - Undercover Israeli secret service agents will be present incognito among Tuesday's inauguration guests after the new Pope tested DNA positive as one of Nazi scoundrel Joachim von Ribbentrop's brats. Their operation comes amid NATO reports t...
BILLINGSGATE POST - In his short homily this past Sunday, Pope Francis addressed the problem of secularity in the world today. As much as admitting that the Catholic Church was somewhat to blame for this growing problem, he specifically put the Stan...
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