The Beech, New Jersey - Governor Christie spent the 4th on a beech from which he had removed all citizens, even those that had homes on the beech. This assured he and his family of complete privacy. According to an anonymous family member, our sou...
Now there is no need to tell anybody with an ounce of sense between their ears that Brit Tabloids are full of utter CRAP! However, one particular RAG has taken taking the piss out of it's highly intellectual, intelligent readership, to a new level...
Emergency services were called to a house in North-West London after neighbours observed yowling cats jumping out of windows and running for their nine lives! It seems the rather eccentric owner of 61 cats slipped into a cesspit in the house fille...
A "webshite" based in the Philippines has recently become popular in the West, particularly in Germany where excrement is a common topic of conversation. It is a free-to-join social networking site, that describes itself as "a place for exploring...
San Francisco, California - Following the arrest of a score of tourists in San Francisco this past week, the city police department has issued a public service announcement reminding the public that it is illegal to feed minimum-wage workers on the...
Emergency services rushed to a house in Bradford this morning after a call from a concerned husband alerted them to the fact that his wife had injured her arsehole after trying to have an enormous dump. Sarfraz Nawadi called West Yorkshire Ambulan...
San Francisco City Hall - San Francisco Mayor Turdwin Spree announced to a small assemblage of reporters this afternoon that the sound of crunching poop underfoot on the sidewalks of the city are soon to be a thing of the past. As he was speaki...
Jack Mehoff, a new prisoner at Oregon State Penitentiary, was involved with the escape of Dick Smalley, a psychopath who has killed over 46 people in Salem, Oregon. Charged for helping with an escape, he claims it was an accident, the main factor bei...
Gwinnett County - Georgia - According to Sheriff's Deputy Luis Tinksay, a Democratic (sic) National Committee bus unloaded mass quantities of human waste, including poop, piddle, toilette paper, Depends, syringes, condoms, empty dopamine bottles, an...
Ode to the little turd who wouldn't be flushed! Oh little turd, of all the millions and zillions of turds that have existed in the world even in my lifetime, why oh why were you the one that refused to be flushed? Little turd,You are not all that much different from the rest...a little smaller, a little rounder and yes quite nice in texture but little turd, why you? Little turd, what made...
Greenwich CT: "Never before has there been such a horror!" said Rev. Paul Martin. He, along with 138 congregants looked somewhat dazed and had a vacant thousand yard stare in their eyes. The front lawn of Saints of Grace Lutheran Church looked like a...
Milkforce and I snuck into the Trump Rally at Two Forks, Tennessee. We brought Stosh Armstrong with us for protection in case they started throwing punches. Stosh kept a low profile, staying about ten feet behind us in the crowd. It's not that he was...
Americans watching Saturday's Democratic debate saw Hillary Clinton's empty podium for nearly one minute when ABC News came back from its second commercial break as she found herself in the unfortunate position of needing to take a dump, which ended...
Niagara Falls, NY - Attempts to avoid colleagues in professional settings is an all too familiar practice. Have you ever gone to a different floor of your office building to drop a bomb? What about having the turtle's head poking out but preventing M...
Legendary former England, Leicester and Barcelona striker Gary Lineker has had enough of hilarious Twitterers reminding him of the time he crapped himself on the pitch during a group stage match versus the Republic of Ireland at the 1990 World Cup in...
Residents of Dudley, in the West Midlands, have become so enraged with irresponsible dog owners who allow their pets to foul in public places and then fail to clear up their mess, that they have demanded that the local council take drastic action.
Wiilliam Bigturd, an American Indian septic tank cleaner in Hollywood announced at a press conference held by creative Artists Agency today at the Polo Lounge in Beverly Hills: "Yep, it's true! I've been cleaning out the septic tanks of the Stars for many moons and i have saved and cataloged their "Star Shit" with it's DNA -- along with the starshit my ancestors have saved. We have been in the...
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