Scouts from the 3.17th Fylde Troop near Blackpool were given the honour of passing the torch through Lytham St Annes, a stretch of thirty miles that took it through the historic Halfbaked Woods. Each of the thirty strong team of scouts carried the...
With less than 60 days to go to the world's greatest sporting event, The London 2012 Paralytic Games, there were few surprises as Great Britain's final team was announced today. The squad was named at the official unveiling of their new training...
Leading Liberal Democrat Dee Doocey is at the centre of a political storm after failing to warn some ethnic communities about possible travel problems during the Olympics. Dublin-born Baroness Doocey, who recently stepped down from the London Asse...
London - The 2012 Olympic Games may be weeks away, but they are already feeling the effects of the European debt crisis. A long list of austerity measures is being implemented to help the international competition survive in an atmosphere of econ...
The Olympic venues have been accused of fleecing their visitors by treating them as a captive audience and prohibiting the bringing of visitors' own food and drink into the stadiums. "The caterers are the same as those used at Wembley," said an un...
London - Two slices of Blunderloaf and some chopped 'n' shaped spam will set you back a fiver at this year's Games. Or try the London 2012 Club Sandwich where a mouthwatering £20 gets you exactly the same but with extra spam and a dollop of colesl...
London - One zap at the gonads and any future chances of fatherhood rapidly diminish to approximately 100/1. Today's unveiling aboard HMS Ocean confirms the Pentagon's legendary sonic blaster will be deployed during the Games to keep the peace.
Athens, Greece. The Olympic torch was ignited here today and the epic journey to London was initiated, however, it was no sooner on the Greek bye ways when a gang of Romany gypsies way laid one of the torch bearers, kidnapping him and his sacred flam...
The London Games were thrown into chaos yesterday as it was discovered a water based beast is terrorising the River Thames. Back and to the Left news investigates. After three hours of looking at the river from our vantage point (the side) we were...
Ensuring total dedication to pupil safety has become the key concern at Bagthorpe Primary. At the end of 2011, the head, Mrs Harriet Willmott chaired the initial sports day committee meeting, with the focus set thoroughly on security. Having kept a k...
Boris Johnson has come up with a brilliant idea to enhance his own fantastic image and assure the world that he is the right man for London. After consulting with a demented Prince Philip, who often wanders off in his mind back to his Nazi days, they...
In a strange turn of events, the once obscure Acronym and Initials Trading Cards by Literary Trading Cards (LTC) are overtaking the once popular Pokémon, Star Wars, and baseball trading cards. Dave Adams-Villa, Esquire (or just DAVE to his friend...
West Ham United learnt today that they will not become tenants of the Olympic Stadium after the completion of the 2012 London Olympics. A study carried out by the London Sport & Tourism Executive concluded that West Ham's history of poor resul...
Team GB will win 27 gold medals at the Olympic Games, by far its largest haul in a century, according to an Irishman who drinks in a pub opposite the Olympic Site. Seamus O'Derekson, 49, from Bow Road, East London, says he plucked the figure out o...
A terrorist working for Basque Separatists was caught after attempting to dispose of depleted uranium in his wheelie bin in Leeds. "We've seen some right stuff chucked away we have," said bin man of forty years, Adam Chapel. "I've seen somebody ch...
London Underground have chosen a Tourette's syndrome sufferer to voice all their station and train announcements throughout the two weeks of this year's Summer Olympics. In conjunction with the London Organising Committee of the Olympic Games (LOC...
In breaking news which broke when nobody had hitherto been aware there was a problem, the Metropolitan Police today issued a statement acknowledging that there is a mutant psycho vampire cannibal serial killer prowling the London Underground network,...
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