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Funny story: True examples of how English is being used in different parts of the world

True examples of how English is being used in different parts of the world

Collection of signs found around the world In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis. In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. In a Leipzig elevator: Do n...

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Funny story: Updated Dictionary of Work Evaluation Comments

Updated Dictionary of Work Evaluation Comments

Some of you might like to know what your supervisor/manager is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations she/he keeps filling in. Inchcock Chambers, our unpaid roving reporter brings you advice attained at great risk, by actually meeting management personnel under cover. He hopes this dictionary will assist you. AVERAGE: Not too bright. EXCEPTIONALLY WELL...

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Funny story: English spelling MUST be made easier to keep people out of prison, according to one literacy researcher

English spelling MUST be made easier to keep people out of prison, according to one literacy researcher

A high number of "inconsistencies" in the way basic words are spelt makes it much harder for children to read and write at a young age, it is claimed. Masha Bell, author and literacy researcher, will tell a conference of English teachers on Friday that sweeping reforms are needed to the spelling system to improve children's linguistic skills. Above headline from online Daily Telegraph.

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Funny story: Phrases into 1950's Nottingham Slang Definition

Phrases into 1950's Nottingham Slang Definition

Our intrepid Reporter, Skoda Estelle driving Inchcock Chambers recalls his memories of the unique speech patterns, inflections, and choice of words used by his fellow Nottinghamians: Go away - Geroff What would you like? - Wodayowant? In trouble with the teacher - Yer inferitnar A friend - Mate, chum or mucker Would you like to engage with me in fisticuffs? - Purumup! Do yo...

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Funny story: Susan Boyle to be judge on America's Got Talent

Susan Boyle to be judge on America's Got Talent

Susan Boyle has been asked to be on the panel of judges for the next season of 'America's Got Talent'. Susan has accepted the 'challenge' but has ONE stipulation. The stipulation is that the Americans - and indeed the Brits. - improve their English...

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Funny story: Immigrants to England must now take English Language tet

Immigrants to England must now take English Language tet

At last the Government have come out with yet another stupid scam to curb the number of immigrants entering Britain. Now immigrants will have to take - and pass - an English literacy test. This seems to this writer to be cruel and unusual punish...

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Funny story: Reading School of Reading to clarify pronunciation

Reading School of Reading to clarify pronunciation

For many years, the Reading School of Reading has been the butt of jokes. Located on the outskirts of Reading, many people see the sign and wonder if it is pronounced as the REDding school of REEDing or the REEDing school of REDding. Now the new d...

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Funny story: Shock Over Welsh Language Use

Shock Over Welsh Language Use

Most Welsh people only speak the language so that the English cannot understand what they are saying, a survey has confirmed. More than 20,000 Welsh people were questioned after complaints were made about a phrase book. Several entries in the b...

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Funny story: Irishman buys the book of Gobble-de-gook on ebay

Irishman buys the book of Gobble-de-gook on ebay

Irishman Cillian Murphy known to his friends as Silly has purchased a copy of the book of Gobble-de-gook on Ebay after reading the book was as controversial as the Bible. "I wanted to compare this book to the bible but was very disappointed said"...

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Funny story: The Book of Gobble-de-gook

The Book of Gobble-de-gook

There are many books in the World that cause controversy, The Bible, Darwins Origin of the Species, are two right at the top of the list for example. There is however a book that can cause more misunderstanding than that, its the book of Gobble-de-go...

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Funny story: New book says you're fat

New book says you're fat

Noam Chomsky introduced his new book today at a gathering at the neighborhood Why Not market. Chomsky opened the talk with "Why not the Why Not?" and further described the market is where words are evolving daily. Here where a large means a sma...

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Funny story: Charity calls for OED to close the book on 'Facebooking'

Charity calls for OED to close the book on 'Facebooking'

A charity that counsels abused library staff has petitioned the Oxford English Dictionary to drop the verb 'Facebooking' from the official new words due to be added to the next version of its dictionary. The popularity of social networking website...

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Funny story: Chuyenistas beware

Chuyenistas beware

Their is a reason why chuy is not a popular part of a word in the English language. Many have asked over the centuries why oh why was the why removed? The English language expert and brilliant scrabble exponent, John "Chuy" Brown has collected a l...

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Funny story: 'Fuck' Declared The Most Versatile Word Ever By Oxford University!

'Fuck' Declared The Most Versatile Word Ever By Oxford University!

Oxford University in England is arguably the greatest seat of learning the modern world has known. Here, great minds have studied, and great statesmen, generals, leaders and all round nice guys have come out of this remarkable place throughout its no...

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Funny story: An even mor modest proposal to make spelling esier

An even mor modest proposal to make spelling esier

An even mor Modest Proposal: that everyone whenever they wish can omit surplus letters in words that don't represent meaning or pronunciation and often mislead. They ar the most common reason why spelling demons ar demonic. They waste time, paper, ink, but even mor they waste peple's time lerning them and hassl over getting them incorrect. U cannot gess what they ar or put them in the right pl...

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Funny story: Yet Another Modest Proposal - To Teach Americans The History of The English Language and How To Spell It Correctly

Yet Another Modest Proposal - To Teach Americans The History of The English Language and How To Spell It Correctly

A modest proposal - to not only teach Americans the history of the English language, but to also teach Americans how to spell its words correctly rather than dropping letters out of words to save space, and misspelling words like primary school children do. There is nothing troublesome about users of the English language spelling it correctly, and if American children are taught to misspell the...

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Funny story: Another Modest Proposal

Another Modest Proposal

A Modest Proposal: to Regulate the Different Spellings of the same Words by American and English Writers, to Save Energy both Mechanical and Human, to Reduce Consumption of Ink, Paper and Trees. There is a troublesome dichotomy among users of the English language as to the spelling of certain words. Also, certain spelling rules taught to grade school children in America run counter to orthograp...

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