£5,000 a second is a lot to borrow. New Labour did exactly this - but admitted that it was a 'swell ride' while it lasted. Diane Abbott conceded - "We went to Hackney Fire Station and they played with their hoses as all my men do, but it was nothi...
Reports are emerging that Gordon Brown partook in a 15 hour love-making marathon with 8 members of the Croydon Ladies Badminton Club, in the latest bizarre chapter in his downward spiral since losing the general election earlier this year. A sou...
As nominations closed today lefty Diane Abbott made it through to the next round of 'Labour's Got Talent'. Speaking to the media, Barber Shop Quartet: Ed Balls, Andy Burnham, David and Ed Miliband said: "We think it's really important to have a wo...
Diane Abbott is the perfect candidate to champion labour 'core values' - "A future rich for us" Abbott couldn't of done hypocrisy any better if she tried. Having slammed Tony Blair for sending his children to a selective school, she went one bette...
Former Saturday night TV variety musician and all-round entertainer Russ Abbot has joined the Labour leadership contest. The surprise announcement from Abbot comes at a critical juncture for Labour after the shock defeat in the 2010 General Electi...
The most hated cloud in Europe has returned to the UK after its holiday in Spain and has decided to challenge Ed and Dave Milliband from the Chemical Brothers for the leadership of the Labour party. Ed and Dave have just finished recording their s...
Doris Miliband, mother of David and Ed, has announced that she is to run for the Labour leadership. She told Mrs Grayson at number 76, and within a matter of minutes the whole town knew. Doris Miliband is concerned that Labour members should have...
After a recent poll showed David Miliband topping the odds of winning the Labour Party leadership contest, and Ed Miliband following up in second place, the brothers today decided to form an alliance. They have announced their intention to run toget...
Jack Straw has been sensationally ruled out of the Labour leadership race on the grounds that he is a useless politician and nobody in their right mind will vote for him. Straw consulted his wife over breakfast and was informed that she would neve...
New British Prime Minister David Cameron has today delivered his first speech as the nation's leader, and has announced his intention to ban any further broadcasts of the BBC1 show EastEnders. Cameron told a massed media gathering outside number 1...
In a surprise move, the Labour Party today unveiled Lord Heehaw as its new leader. According to political commentators, this is the first time for at least two hours that the Labour Party has been headed by an ass. Lord Heehaw, who stood in the...
Current UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown has named his successor as his cousin, the former Hull manager, Phil Brown. Whilst the news comes as a large shock to virtually everyone in the UK, it is apparently little surprise to Phil Brown who later des...
Gordon Brown has said he is stepping down as Labour Party leader and Prime Vegetable - as his party opens formal talks with the North Korea Party about forming a government. Mr Brown, prime vegetable since 2007, said he hoped a successor as leader...
Gordon Brown plans to join the Conservative Party in a bid to cling to power following his party's failure at the General Election. He is currently in talks with David Cameron and the two are said to be getting along well. Conor Burns, Conservativ...
After a month long search, President Barack Obama has chosen Elena Kagan, his solicitor general and a former dean of Harvard Law School, to succeed the retiring PM Gordon Brown. News that the retiring PM would be replaced via selection of a stand...
Manish Sood, Norfolk: There now follows a Party political broadcast on behalf of the Labour Party. "The way I was brought up, both my Mum and Dad were staunch Labour Party supporters and they still are. My Dad was a well known politician and my Brother was a well known politician and that is the way I was educated." "I was born in the Labour Party. Before I was born I was part of the Labo...
A devastating e-mail has been leaked from Labour Party HQ, which shows the party demanding that their female MP's do "whatever it takes" to ensure re-election. The suggestion that this policy existed was first raised earlier this week. In June...
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