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Funny satire stories about Kate Middleton

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Funny story: Top-heavy Kate dizzy under weight of £10,000 hair extensions

Top-heavy Kate dizzy under weight of £10,000 hair extensions

London - "Underneath that Barnet she's practically bald," Kensington heirdresser Jonty Poppycock tweeted this morning. "Probably got the same amount of active follicles as that daft husband Wills." The celeb salon owner reckons regular top-ups...

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Funny story: Wills and Kate furious as bootleg snaps show them playing 'bored' games on honeymoon

Wills and Kate furious as bootleg snaps show them playing 'bored' games on honeymoon

London - "Bwahaha, we'll never live this one down!" was the only royal comment as 'intimate' pics of the happy newlyweds went viral on the net today. The Seychelles honeymoon images reveal absolutely nothing remotely bordering on swimwear shots i...

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Funny story: 'Kate Middleton To Sleep Rough' - so what else is new?

'Kate Middleton To Sleep Rough' - so what else is new?

London - Slumming it in Kensington Palace's Nottingham Cottage is such a chore when all the in-laws are holed up in palatial splendor. But all that could end early next week as Kate and William face eviction from their grace and favor pad to join...

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Funny story: British and the World Hoodwinked by Royal Family - Despite The Jubilee Queen and Royal Family Still The Same Old Elitists With Chips on Their Shoulders

British and the World Hoodwinked by Royal Family - Despite The Jubilee Queen and Royal Family Still The Same Old Elitists With Chips on Their Shoulders

News that the Duchess of Cambridge Kate Middleton, who will one day be the Queen has been instructed to curtsy to uglier members of the Royal family, simply because she does not have "Royal Blood" has unfortunately shown the Royal's for what they tru...

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Funny story: Kate Middleton Unable to Conceive and Will Adopt Baby from Ethiopia after Advice from Angelina Jolie and Madonna - Prince Phillip Horrified

Kate Middleton Unable to Conceive and Will Adopt Baby from Ethiopia after Advice from Angelina Jolie and Madonna - Prince Phillip Horrified

Buckingham Palace has announced that Kate Middleton and Prince William are to adopt a child from Africa after today's earlier announcement that Kate Middleton is unable to conceive. The Royals have sought advice from Angelina Jolie and Madonna...

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Funny story: Grim Reaper to have the last laugh in royal 'Kiss My Ass' Order of Precedence row

Grim Reaper to have the last laugh in royal 'Kiss My Ass' Order of Precedence row

London - A daft Palace memo to all aspiring wannabes has set out protocol guidelines over who should curtsey to whom. "I bow to no one," is how Queen Elizabeth put it last week while updating a new royal pecking order for her moron entourage. T...

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Funny story: Kate Middleton's druggy Uncle Gary 'lends the Queen ten grand' during bank glitch

Kate Middleton's druggy Uncle Gary 'lends the Queen ten grand' during bank glitch

Ascot - He's been compared to Sir Walter Raleigh - the country's earliest recorded and most successful tobacco dealer - laying his cloak on a damp patch to avert mucky embarrassment for Queen Elizabeth I. Yesterday at Royal Ascot a 21st century w...

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Funny story: William and Justin Bieber in hush-hush 1am rendezvous as Kate's baby pics vanish

William and Justin Bieber in hush-hush 1am rendezvous as Kate's baby pics vanish

London - "We're need to sort this out man to man," William hissed through gritted teeth after the eighteen year-old had kept him waiting over two whole hours at Mayfair's exclusive El Bandito Club. The hurriedly arranged secret rendezvous came as...

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Funny story: Kate and William look-a-likes stood in for them at the Jubilee Concert

Kate and William look-a-likes stood in for them at the Jubilee Concert

Michael Law and Jessica Cotton have admitted that it was them, and not Kate and William Windsor at the Jubilee Concert. "We're the country's best Kate and Wills look-a-likes," said Jessica. "As Kate and Wills wanted a little alone time, they gave...

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Funny story: 'Mammaries Are Made Of This' as Kate resorts to push-up bra

'Mammaries Are Made Of This' as Kate resorts to push-up bra

London - The 1956 Dean Martin hit was heard playing on a Thames fishing smack at Chelsea Harbour this afternoon as Kate showcased yet another frumpy, post menopausal-looking ensemble. "Looks like she's stuffed loads of toilet paper inside an under...

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Funny story: Pippa Middleton's Arse Signed Up For New ITV 2 Show

Pippa Middleton's Arse Signed Up For New ITV 2 Show

Derrière of dreams, Pippa Middleton's arse, was said this evening to be celebrating after having landed itself a lucrative new deal, in what's rumoured to be a seven figure sum with the total dross TV channel ITV 2. The bountiful bum-hole is beli...

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Funny story: Selena Gomez in shock as Charles names Kate Middleton 'Justin Bieber's birth mother'

Selena Gomez in shock as Charles names Kate Middleton 'Justin Bieber's birth mother'

Toronto, Canada - A chance remark by Prince Charles to Canadian riff raff on his Jubilee Tour this afternoon has backfired horribly. On a VIP Toronto walkabout he told Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty that he hoped doe-eyed Disney Channel beauty S...

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Funny story: William was bamboozled into becoming Justin Bieber's step-father

William was bamboozled into becoming Justin Bieber's step-father

London - Constitutional experts said today 'seedy' Palace apparatchiks waived aside 'bloody obvious' objections to the Middleton marriage with its ball-and-chain appendage of a bastard brat. The added complication of bigamy, due to Kate being lega...

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Funny story: Website to publish pix showing Kate Middleton 'is Justin Bieber's birth mother'

Website to publish pix showing Kate Middleton 'is Justin Bieber's birth mother'

Los Angeles - "She wears some of his milk teeth in a locket around her neck," a celebwatch site editor claimed today, "and has kept the C-section placenta in a Canadian hospital vault." This weekend a lengthy cover-up lies in tatters as LA FagHagS...

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Funny story: 'I Was An Unwed Teenage Mother' Kate Middleton confides in Justin Bieber

'I Was An Unwed Teenage Mother' Kate Middleton confides in Justin Bieber

London - Late last night Royal Protection Racket cops managed to smuggle Justin Bieber from his suite at the Royal Garden Hotel to Nottingham Cottage in nearby Kensington Palace. The secret meeting went ahead despite rumors of a tip-off that QM-Ne...

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Funny story: Mounting fury at Kate Middleton's £2 million spending rampage

Mounting fury at Kate Middleton's £2 million spending rampage

London - Clothes, jewellery, cosmetic surgery, holidays, credit card bills, exotic pharmaceutical substances and personal 'grooming' worth more than £2 million have been racked up by the grasping royal gravytrain gold digger since her wedding last ye...

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Funny story: Duchess of Doolittle's new dimples disaster

Duchess of Doolittle's new dimples disaster

London - Cat-gut sutures inside Kate Middleton's gob may have suddenly burst open 'like cheap knicker elastic' according to Palace sources today. The royal gravytrain freeloader's plastic surgery at a Mustique clinic in January saw ditsy dimples h...

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