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Funny satire stories about Jesus

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Funny story: Dr. Virginia de Souza Claims she was sending them to Jesus Christ

Dr. Virginia de Souza Claims she was sending them to Jesus Christ

Oh, what a tangled web we weave. Brazilian Doctor Virginia de Souza has now been charged with 7 counts of aggravated first degree murder and could be looking at 1,700 counts. Until her arrest Dr. Virginia de Souza worked as a doctor at the Evangelica...

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Funny story: Jesus Cancels Second Coming Due To Lack Of Interest

Jesus Cancels Second Coming Due To Lack Of Interest

The long awaited Second Coming of Jesus Christ has been canceled. Jesus Himself has ordered this. Coming down incognito to plan for his much anticipated descension to the same world that had rejected him so many millenia ago, He scoped out the scene to ascertain how He would pull it off. He wasn't happy with what he found. Interviewed on one of the many talk shows that populate the mor...

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Funny story: Facebook? More like the good book!

Facebook? More like the good book!

Real life stories of revelations and resurrections will soon be making their way to your smart phone (smarter than you!) or desktop computer. Jesus Christ or as he is more commonly known, J-Sizzle, has joined the social media revolution. It is a...

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Funny story: Jesus wept: 'Obama is our Lord and Savior, and then some' says Jamie Foxx

Jesus wept: 'Obama is our Lord and Savior, and then some' says Jamie Foxx

LOS ANGELES, California (ABSNN) - Comedian Jamie Foxx joined a long line of African-Americans who have deified leaders of color, like Harriet Tubman and Martin Luther King Jr., when he told the audience at the Soul Train Music Awards "It's almost lik...

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Funny story: Vatican: Jesus was a single, confident heterosexual!

Vatican: Jesus was a single, confident heterosexual!

VATICAN CITY (ABSNN) - It is a fake, the papyrus fragment that claims Jesus was married, that is. According to today's issue of the Vatican's newspaper, L'Observatore Romano, "Substantial reasons would lead one to conclude that the papyrus is inde...

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Funny story: New Gospel Found: Son of Man Was Ladies Man

New Gospel Found: Son of Man Was Ladies Man

The recent discovery of a papyrus fragment suggesting that Jesus had a wife has caused a stir in academic and religious circles. While some might be pleased to learn about a more human side of the Messiah, others feel that the evidence is a forgery w...

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Funny story: Jesus' Wife is not Jesus' Wife: New Translation

Jesus' Wife is not Jesus' Wife: New Translation

Yale Professor of Ancient Religions, Salvatore Crocifisso, disputes the translation of the newly-discovered Coptic text claiming that Jesus had a wife. The professor made his announcement yesterday at the Yale University's Student Union and Car Wash...

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Funny story: Jesus had a wife, it's a fact!

Jesus had a wife, it's a fact!

It has been confirmed by a scribble on a 4th century (400 years after Jesus roamed the planet!) piece of tattered papyrus that Jesus really had a wife. Now this strange piece of tattered papyrus could have been written by anybody, but it wasn't ac...

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Funny story: Jesus Christ Superstar and Super Husband

Jesus Christ Superstar and Super Husband

An ancient fragment of papyrus has been discovered and it makes a thinly veiled reference to Jesus having a wife. It also says several things about Transformers building the Pyramids but that's apparently not as important as the Jesus thing. The s...

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Funny story: Al Qaeda's Number 2 will fund "Jesus the Pussy Whupped" movie

Al Qaeda's Number 2 will fund "Jesus the Pussy Whupped" movie

BUMFUCK EGYPT (ABSNN) - The second highest ranking leader of the radical Islamic fundamentalist sect Al Qaeda has announced that he will personally fund the making of a new motion picture, "Jesus the Pussy Whupped". "Our budget is unlimited. This...

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Funny story: Harvard Prof finds 'Honey Do' list from Jesus' wife!

Harvard Prof finds 'Honey Do' list from Jesus' wife!

HARVARD UNIVERSITY (ABSNN)- Dr. Karen L. King, a Harvard Divinity School professor, has discovered a scrap of parchment written by the wife of Jesus Christ. The announcement of the discovery was made at an international conference of Coptic schola...

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Funny story: Many Americans Also Frustrated by Movies

Many Americans Also Frustrated by Movies

The angry riots throughout North Africa and the Middle East over an anti-Islamic movie have sparked intense discussion about American foreign policy and the limits of freedom of speech and religion. While the violent reactions of some extremist group...

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Funny story: Same sex marriage, now same person marriage?

Same sex marriage, now same person marriage?

In times past it would be called a sexual deviance, but today many people are worried that it will be yet another that gets labeled an "orientation". Heterosexual, homosexual, pansexual, metrosexual, and now autosexual? The sexual attraction to ones...

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Funny story: Zombie Apocalypse is actually the Second Coming, Jesus reveals

Zombie Apocalypse is actually the Second Coming, Jesus reveals

In a surprise appearance last week, a man claiming to be Jesus revealed that the much anticipated 'zombie apocalypse' of 2012 is actually a mis-communication of the intended 'Second Coming'. Jesus explained that they (the Holy Trinity) realised that if the Son of God were to turn up looking 'normal', He might not be taken seriously and most likely ignored (or sectioned if the NHS could be bothe...

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Funny story: Jesus makes a surprise appearance at the Democratic National Convention

Jesus makes a surprise appearance at the Democratic National Convention

Jesus stunned politicians with a surprise appearance and a short speech at the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte, North Carolina, on Wednesday afternoon. He talked about how U.S. government and politicians have to rediscover true values...

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Funny story: Fossilised Jesus spaceship remains found on Mars

Fossilised Jesus spaceship remains found on Mars

Space - "Now we know why the apostle Thomas is pointing skywards in Leonardo Da Vinci's painting of The Last Supper," a NASA spokesman said today as news broke of the Martian find. "Art historians have misinterpreted the gesture as St Thomas 'givi...

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Funny story: Ron & Fred on The Bible

Ron & Fred on The Bible

"Art'noon Fred. What's that yer got there then?" "Oh, it's wunner them bibles." "Bibles? You feelin' alright mate? Get dahn t' yer doctor if yer not feelin' well." "Yeah, course I'm alright. Ten pence it was at that car boot sale they've got on this morning outside that church up the road. Gotta be worf ten pence innit, God's word like." "Nah, I fink you'll find that's not one of the o...

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