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Funny story: Isle of Wight goes missing

Isle of Wight goes missing

Residents of Lynmington woke up this morning to an uninterupted sunrise over the English Channel indicating quite simply that the Isle of Wight had gone. Only the Grade I listed needles lighthouse remained together with a note stating the British...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Online Forum Highlights

Isle of Wight News - Online Forum Highlights

OUR WEEKLY SELECTION FROM THE FORUMS AT allwight.web allwight.com-forums>visiting>our towns>what our towns have to offer NO POSTS IN THIS DISCUSSION please register to post on the forums allwight.web-forums>living>local issues>preserve are heritiges! WIGHT HERATAGE PRESIRVATION posted 26 Jan 2007: Has you of recently taken a jerney through are ILAND? Can you'v hav...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Stoat Population Explodes

Isle of Wight News - Stoat Population Explodes

Conservationist Ken Keeley reports that stoat sightings are up overall this year on the island which is positive news for tourists, many who plan their visit specifically to catch sight of the elusive creatures. Keeley says that this year is the p...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Newby is on the map at last

Isle of Wight News - Newby is on the map at last

Newby, Isle of Wight, is most definitely on the map at last. Residents of this small village gathered in the Community Centre last evening, bringing all maps they possessed which had The Isle of Wight showing. As requested by the village counci...

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Funny story: Isle Of Wight News - Hanging Basket Vandalised On Ryde Esplanade

Isle Of Wight News - Hanging Basket Vandalised On Ryde Esplanade

Ryde - Isle Of Wight - Police detective and one-time pirate, Doctor Victor Nicholas, along with his trusty sidekick, Inspector Morse, today revealed that they were conducting exhaustive investigations into an incident in which a hanging basket was va...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Crime on the Rise

Isle of Wight News - Crime on the Rise

Whippingham - Longtime resident and community leader Marjorie Givens 67 of 2 Bettsworth has made an appointment to meet with Mayor Shovel regarding what she calls a "alarming increase in crime." "Just last week I woke up in the morning to find that someone had overturned my birdbath and pulled down my Guernsey Cream clematis. Constable Millington tried to tell me it was probably the neighbor's...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - top Signs to be Installed

Isle of Wight News - top Signs to be Installed

Whippingham - Mayor Tom Shovel and Council voted unanimously last night to install traffic control signs at all major intersections of roads in town. The signs will be octagonal in shape and red in colour to attract attention. Mayor Shovel said "The increase in tourist traffic in the summer in combination with an increase in visitors from Ryde has put a strain on our roadways. The new traffic...

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Funny story: Isle Of Wight News - Bicycle Temporarily Stolen

Isle Of Wight News - Bicycle Temporarily Stolen

Ryde police detective Doctor Victor Nicholas (he moonlights as a proctologist and pirate sometimes, juggling three disparate careers) this morning issued a warning to Ryde residents not to leave their bicycles unattended, following the temporary theft of a bicycle from outside the Oasis Bar, Grill And Steakhouse on Ryde Esplanade in the early hours. Local man, Stag Bullwinkle, who had been watc...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Radio Guide

Isle of Wight News - Radio Guide

What's On Radio Mottistone 05:00 Full English Breakfast with John English playing hits from the 60s. Including Farming Report with Silas Gurner. 07:00 Good Morning Babs Mullett visits the multicoloured sandstone cliffs of Alum Bay with Island geologist Percy Tapper and talks to Whippingham vet Tara Bumttay about mange and hardpad in North Wight. Plus News & Weather. 09:00 Craft Corne...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Pothole Plague Sweeps The Island

Isle of Wight News - Pothole Plague Sweeps The Island

Council Highways staff were kept on their toes the day before yesterday and yesterday, as what an Enterprise House source described as "Pothole Armageddon" hit the Isle of Wight's roads. It all began at 10:45, when Urma Hulke answered the phone on the Island Wasp Buzz-Line. "I thought it was a bit early for a wasp emergency", said a still-shaken Urma. "We don't usually get any phone calls until...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Letters to a teacher from parents of pupils

Isle of Wight News - Letters to a teacher from parents of pupils

Mrs. Amoree Limpert, who has taught at Newby Juniors for the past 30 years, recently published part of her enormous collection of letters which she has received over the years, from parents of her pupils. 1. Dear Miss, Can our Susan be exkuzed from p.e. today coz I'm not feeling well. from Mrs. Prior (Written in Susan's handwriting!) 2. Dear Miss Limpert...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Resident Protests Sex Shop

Isle of Wight News - Resident Protests Sex Shop

Whippingham - Longtime resident and community leader Marjorie Givens 67 of 2 Bettsworth has protested to Mayor Shovel and Council that the Gilded Lily Flower Shop that recently opened is operating as a sex shop. "This is the last thing that Whippingham needs to distract the youth of our community and give our town a bad name for tourists. I have seen men and women as young as forty and fifty wa...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Newby, Isle of Wight, to get new ferry

Isle of Wight News - Newby, Isle of Wight, to get new ferry

Newby - Isle of Wight - Residents of Newby were today told that the Isle of Wight is soon to get a new ferry to take Newby residents to the Mainland. Town councillor Bob Syor Unkl (an immigrant for Sweden) told residents that they must keep up with the times and get a ferry with an engine, like everyone else on the Isle. Ferryman, Will Ge Tyoothar (Korean/Canadian immigrant) is said to be c...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Road Closed Due to Abandoned Boot

Isle of Wight News - Road Closed Due to Abandoned Boot

Newport police spokeswoman Amber Alert has announced that the road between Whippingham and Ryde has been closed due to the discovery of a men's work boot on the tarmac near Binstead. The boot is a tan leather full lace-up possibly with a steel toe estimated to be size 10. Alert says "the roadway was closed immediately upon receiving report of the boot and barricades put up". A door-to-door s...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Newby residents fear for the life of Paul the psychic octopus

Isle of Wight News - Newby residents fear for the life of Paul the psychic octopus

Newby residents fear for the life of Paul the psychic octopus as Germans head to the Isle following their teams loss against Spain in the Semi-final of the World Cup this week. The German team found out about Paul weeks ago and were very happy, in the beginning, with the predictions made by Paul. This is because he had Germany down to win every time. UNTIL the Semi-final when he predicted Spai...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Lonely Hearts

Isle of Wight News - Lonely Hearts

Men Seeking Women Ventnor man, early 50s, NSOH, seeks 20-something woman for dog, er, walking. Box 52. Newport professional bachelor, 29, is it worth mentioning premature baldness? No, probably not, leave that bit out. Seeks non-judgemental woman 25-35, NS with GSOH. Box 19. Ryde man with one leg called Dave (the other is called Alan), recently divorced, aged 62, GSOH, loves walking with Da...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Bid for World Cup 2018 rejected

Isle of Wight News - Bid for World Cup 2018 rejected

Councillor Nathan D'Stallion, 48, had some bad news for island residents on Wednesday. "It's sad news for the Isle of Wight today," he said, "as we have received notification from FIFA that we are not going to be the hosts for the 2018 World Cup."...

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