On February 25th, President Obama will hold a bipartisan meeting on health care reform broadcast live, according to a senior administration official. It is the Obama administration's latest attempt to pass health care reform legislation, which is...
Before Feb. 25, the planned date of the summit (the summit which will include President Obama as well as members of Congress), there's much work to be done. "This is our big chance to make our case on television before the American people," House...
You know, I was recently reflecting on my last hospital stay. It began something like this: "OH MY GOD!!!! WHAT IS THAT STABBING PAIN IN MY CHEST!!! ACK! IT'S RUNNING DOWN MY ARM!!!!! GGGGGGGGGGAHHHHHHHHHHH!" I had a heart attack; a goddamned myocardial infarction! It fuckin' HURT! So I got to stay in the hospital for a few days while the doctors reminded me not to be a fat fuck and to quit...
Now, on top of America's healthcare crisis, our nation is currently faced with a shortage of organ donations. As crazy as it may seem, in this land of abundance, violence, and abundant violence, we can't seem to get organ transplants to people who desperately need them, primarily due to lack of donations. Well, once again, the Big Asshole has come up with some really keen ideas that can get us thr...
The first daughter's are upset at President Barack Obama, saying that his Universal Health Care Reform Plan does not go far enough. Malia and Sasha Obama are upset that acne and pimple creams will not be covered as prescription drugs under the propo...
"I think it's very important for us to have a methodical, open process over the next several weeks, and then let's go ahead and make a decision," Obama said at a Democratic National Committee fundraiser. The President says he will be as open as h...
A number of Hollywood stars have been advising President Obama how to reduce health care costs. The saneness of their advice is inversely proportional to the size of their campaign contributions to the Democratic Party and to President Obama's reelec...
(Washington, D.C.) The upset election of Republican Scott Brown to fill the Senate seat of the late Ted Kennedy has left Senate Democrats and the Obama White House scrambling to rescue health care reform. White House Spokesmen Robert "Bob" Gibbs...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - On Wednesday, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke said Congress should rein in future Social Security and Medicare costs by raising the retirement age to 108. The Fed chief's comments stirred political ripples, with Senator J...
House Republican leader John Boehner of Ohio today announced his party's plan for sweeping healthcare reform. "It's a no-brainer," said Boehner. "It takes the best parts found in the Democrats' plan and weds them to ours. This will put to rest al...
Americans have long enjoyed a position of hard fought superiority over the rest of the world's citizens. For centuries, Americans have both rocked and kicked ass. Just ask them. The United States is often promoted as a paragon of military prowess, ec...
Senate democrats celebrated the passage of a poorly conceived crappy health care bill today. Senator Harry Reid, the spunky sparkplug senate majority leader, hailed the passage as a "purely political move that we short sighted nimrods can celebrate i...
WASHINGTON, DC - Capitol Hill insiders report that Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL) will get a B-1B Stealth Bomber for personal use, in exchange for his vote in support of Obama's Health Bill. Senator Durbin is very excited, and was overheard saying "with...
Washington, D.C. - Democrats in the senate broke out in shouts of joy, having succeeded in garnering the 60 votes needed to pass the Healthcare Reform bill. 'We had to use some less than friendly persuasion to get the votes, but the ends justify t...
Washington - Political junkies and talk show pundits of all stripes have been on U.S. President Barack Obama's case of late. The latest topic to rankle the already irate is the President's stance on the healthcare issue in America. Long an advocate o...
WASHINGTON, DC - After extensive discussion on the Health Care Bill, Harry Reid has announced that "everything everyone wants" will be in the final legislation. By using "triggers" and vague nonexistent government positions and committees to dete...
Obama: "It's because we truly care about the American people that the State must properly exercise control over healthcare." "So, we have decided to set up Health America as the vehicle to deliver this goal." "We came across this great idea fro...
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