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Funny satire stories about Harry Maguire

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Funny story: Harry Maguire To Bat At Number 11, If Needed

Harry Maguire To Bat At Number 11, If Needed

Harry Maguire, the Manchester United central defender who cost the Red Devils £80million when he made a summer switch from Leicester City, has said he will switch sports completely this afternoon, and bat as last man for the England cricket team, in...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Named In Yak Palimony Suit

Harry Maguire Named In Yak Palimony Suit

BILLINGSGATE POST: Details are irrelevant. But it seems that ever since he was suspended from Manchester United for playing with his under-Inflated balls, things have gone down hill for the beleaguered Maguire. The domestic yak (Bos grunniens) i...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire is unlockable as new character in Minecraft Earth

Harry Maguire is unlockable as new character in Minecraft Earth

Mojang has recently announced the launch of its new game, Minecraft Earth. The game provides a new light on the Minecraft gaming world, and recently, Mojang has also become the newest sponsor of Manchester United. Because of this, Mojang have als...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire To Fight Prince Charles In Historic UFC Showdown

Harry Maguire To Fight Prince Charles In Historic UFC Showdown

BILLINGSGATE POST: Pending dual approval by British Chancellor of the Exchequer, Sajid Javier and Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, the UFC showdown between suspended Manchester United defenseman Harry Maguire and Prince Charles has been set for October...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire England Captain For Bulgaria Game

Harry Maguire England Captain For Bulgaria Game

Harry Maguire has been named as England captain for the European Championship qualifier against Bulgaria at Wembley on Saturday (17:00 BST). Maguire, 26, will lead the national team out for the first time, as they bid to continue their great start...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire’s Balls Fail Test: Heads To Fall In New “Deflategate”

Harry Maguire’s Balls Fail Test: Heads To Fall In New “Deflategate”

BILLINGSGATE POST: Managing Director of the Premier League, Richard Masters, announced today that Harry Maguire’s balls were tested by ACME Ball Evaluators, a subsidiary of the ACME Corporation. The results, Masters revealed, showed evidence of pre...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Signing Was "The Last Straw", Says Alexis Sanchez

Harry Maguire Signing Was "The Last Straw", Says Alexis Sanchez

Alexis Sanchez, the Manchester United striker, who has signed a season-long loan deal with Italian giants, Inter Milan, has said his decision to leave Old Trafford was finally taken when manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer bought Harry Maguire for £80millio...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire To Participate In General Election

Harry Maguire To Participate In General Election

Harry Maguire, the 26-year-old Manchester United centre-half, who became the costliest defender in the world when he signed for the Old Trafford club from Leicester City, has announced he will stand as an independent candidate against Boris Johnson i...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Anonymous In Manchester United's Draw With Southampton

Harry Maguire Anonymous In Manchester United's Draw With Southampton

Harry Maguire, Manchester United's £80million central defender who has received extensive media coverage recently, was almost anonymous in his side's 1-1 draw with Southampton this afternoon, and wasn't even mentioned in the BBC Sport match report I...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Speaks Out On Amazon Rainforest Fires

Harry Maguire Speaks Out On Amazon Rainforest Fires

The thousands of fires that are currently sweeping through the Amazon rainforests of Brazil are a global environmental catastrophe, and, offering his considered opinion on the subject, Manchester United newboy, Harry Maguire, has said the whole fiasc...

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Funny story: Ice Cream Van Played 'Match Of The Day' Theme

Ice Cream Van Played 'Match Of The Day' Theme

Residents sat up and took notice, whilst others peered from behind their twitching curtains yesterday afternoon, when an ice cream van started playing the theme tune from Match Of The Day over its loudspeaker. The unlikely incident took place on t...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire To Take All Manchester United Penalties From Now On

Harry Maguire To Take All Manchester United Penalties From Now On

Manchester United boss, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer revealed last night that, after Marcus Rashford's penalty blunder against Crystal Palace yesterday, and Paul Pogba's earlier miss against Wolves, that £80million newboy Harry Maguire will take all the Reds...

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Funny story: “Harry Maguire Couldn’t Carry My Jock Strap:” Slim Everdingle

“Harry Maguire Couldn’t Carry My Jock Strap:” Slim Everdingle

BILLINGSGATE POST: Urbane multi-culturist and bon-vivant, Slim Everdingle, jumped into the Harry Maguire fray with his spikes high, aimed at the groin area of Everyman’s loudmouth, Harry Maguire. Citing “Hobson’s choice” protocol, Everdingle ind...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Is Going To Smash Prince Andrew's Face In, If He Sees Him

Harry Maguire Is Going To Smash Prince Andrew's Face In, If He Sees Him

As the Jeffrey Epstein paedophile case rages on, even after the mysterious death of the former financier, Manchester United defender Harry Maguire Is rumoured to have said that he is so disgusted with Epstein's former friend, Prince Andrew, that he i...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Taking Up Too Much Column Space

Harry Maguire Taking Up Too Much Column Space

There was controversy surrounding Manchester United's £80million newboy defender, Harry Maguire, this evening, when the player was adjudged by some people to have been taking up far too much column space in news pages, and to be 'hogging the limeligh...

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Funny story: Peter Schmeichel Says Harry Maguire Is The Best Keeper In The World Right Now

Peter Schmeichel Says Harry Maguire Is The Best Keeper In The World Right Now

Former Manchester United 'custodian of the net', Peter Schmeichel, has said that the club's recent £80million signing of Harry Maguire was a shrewd move, as the former Sheffield United, Hull City and Leicester City player is the best goalkeeper in th...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire The Victim Of Sliding Tackle Near Manchester Arndale Centre

Harry Maguire The Victim Of Sliding Tackle Near Manchester Arndale Centre

There was controversy in Manchester's main shopping area yesterday afternoon, when United's new £80million signing, central defender, Harry Maguire, was the victim of a mindless attack from a member of the general public who approached the player at...

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