In the week leading up to Valentine's Day, more than 35 million heart-shaped boxes of chocolate are purchased and over $1 billion worth of chocolate is sold in the U.S.
The editors applaud the chocolate companies, like Whitman's, who give the consumer a chart with each chocolate box that lists each filling, so you can choose the ones you like best.
But let the chocolate eater beware! Whil...
A survey of the recent gastronomic offerings at the Sochi Olympic Village revealed the following items, tended to by Edward Snowden, Steam Table Attendant.
30-day old Raw Black Sea Oysters
Thrice-boiled Gulag Potatoes with Worms
Breaded Wolf Cutlets with Fur Accents
50 Gallon Tub of Stinky Sour Cream
Pickled Bear Claws
NSA Caramelized Leeks with Twittered Parsley
2. slimy brussel sprouts
3. crab salad with red and white imitation crab
4. people who pick up salad items with their fingers
5. people who put back salad items with their fingers
6. little kids who are shorter than the sneeze guard
7. lickers and tasters
8. containers with contents that are almost used up
10. days old mushrooms
The omnibus farm appropriation bill passed by The House today provides for the establishment of 500 Marie Antoinette Cake Centers in the 17 states who get $800 million per year in food stamp cuts provided by the bill, affecting some 2 million men,...
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Local authorities are investigating one of the biggest sinkholes in the history of LaLaLand.
Officer Teddy Buffovich, 24, with the Hollywood Hills Police Department stated that overweight actress Kirstie Alley was home alone when...
VENICE BEACH, California - Miley Cyrus says she spends about two hours each night trying to figure out ways to top herself in the eyes of the public.
She recently went into a Hooter's Restaurant located in Venice Beach and before she left she had...
TRENTON, New Jersey - A reporter with American Spotlight Magazine has placed the spotlight smack dab on New Jersey's Governor Chris Christie.
ASM's Cutter Shiloh said that he has inside information from an unnamed inside source that the governor o...
City and County Governments are drooling with envy over Louisville's age old solution for housing and feeding the many prisoners that go through their portals of power.
They borrowed a page from Soylent Green and offered it up as food for thos...
A Dallas based Food company has found a creative way of feeding the cities ever growing homeless population, the unemployed.
Using cutting edge human to food technology, the folks at "I Can't Believe it's Not Chicken" are helping shrink the rank...
Toppi Vilalgo of Cedar Junction, Nebraska recently made a mock apple pie using imitation Ritz crackers she made from various foods she found around her kitchen.
Ms. Vilalgo stated "First off, I can afford a few apples, but when I read about mak...
Larry King of Montana experienced one of the most painful ailments that any man could wish for--or not wish for, depending on whether said man is a masochist. He experienced a snake-bit scrotum when he squatted down to relieve himself in the woods.
Scientists in the High Plains of America have discovered that the human family tree has many more branches and tangles than previously thought. DNA analysis from a group of humans heavier than Robustus, stouter than Australopithecus,-- and with more...
JACKSON, Mississippi - The state of Mississippi is proud to disclose that it has just passed a vote in the Mississippi State Senate making The McDonald's Big Mac the official state food.
Senator Roy LeRoy Witchboro [R-Pascagoula] commented that th...
BURBANK - Jay Leno, the host of The Tonight Show has pretty much always been a guy who keeps to himself, his wife, and his extensive automobile and motorcycle collection.
But Leno recently confided to his good friend Pico de Gallo with Tittle Tatt...
DOVER, Delaware - Senator Preston Wybinski [R-Dover] has just become one of the state's most hated individuals.
The senator introduced a bill that would ban any homeless people from residing within the state.
The senator was asked by American S...
PLANO, Texas - Retail giant J.C. Penney, which is headquarted in Plano, Texas has just announced a big corporate merger.
Penney's will be merging with the Denny's restaurant chain to form a new corporation which is being called Denny Penney's.
NORFOLK, Virginia - Snails have been around just about as long as flies, spiders, and pill bugs, but unlike those three insects the number of snails has decreased by 37 percent in just the past three years.
Insect experts state that this is due to...
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