Washington, DC (BNSE): Officials gathered today to announce what they call, "A stunning medical breakthrough." Agencies, tasked with the safety of the United States mainland and passenger air travel, claimed that despite having little or no budget...
In the headlines today is Umy Faloukin Tummysbad, the son of the most honest banker in Nigeria, who was reported as setting off an incendiary device on an airliner when he went to the toilet with a joint. The airlines and press had been instructed...
The same scientist who came up with the remarkable observation that bees cannot fly because they are aerodynamically unstable, despite all evidence to the contrary, has now declared that planes too cannot fly. "It's perfectly simple," said Valdima...
In a surprise announcement today Bumbling Airlines has announced that it will use scab cabincrew supplied by Al-Qaeda to guarantee its scheduled flights over the Christmas period. A spokesman for the union stated: "We understand the twelve day str...
(Defecated News) In a shocking move in the ongoing chess game between crew and management, London-based BA cabin staff last night hijacked one of their toy planes in the waiting area at Terminal 5. The 1/10th scale Boeing 767 model was broken into...
British Airways are looking for ways to avoid the planned 12 day cabin crew strike which is almost certain to occur over the Christmas period. Other groups of employees, such as pilots and engineers, are not striking. It is only the "trolley dolli...
The annual exodus of escaping Brits wishing to avoid dry Turkey dinners, brussel sprouts, vile stuffing, disgusting Christmas pudding, the stormy , wet , windy weather and their kids sitting like Zombies on their X Boxes, Playstations and new mobile...
PUKISTAN - Somewhere deep in a militant cave-haven, in a country quickly unraveling under a government spiraling out of control, militant leaders are turning to ancient Islamic folklore to finesse their WMD strategy. Funding and support for these 7t...
Sociologists and economists worldwide have come to the defense of pilots whose laptop use in the cockpit caused them to fly 150 miles beyond their destination. Federal safety officials reported Monday that the flight overshot its scheduled landing...
(Washington, D.C.) A passenger flight overshot its destination airport by about 150 miles Wednesday. Federal investigators initially thought that the aircraft, which remained radio silent for 16 minutes, might have been taken over by terrorists.
WASHINGTON DC. President Obama announces a new strategy in the "War on Terror". The transcript of the announcement and press release can be found here; "Today Ladies and Gentleman, I am announcing a package of new measures which I am sure will b...
Tokyo, Japan/ International Travel and Carbon Foot Print News - A Japanese international airline is the first to get on board with Al Gore's Cap and Tax mandate to cut down global emissions by demanding all passengers void both their bladders and bo...
Executives at an Indian airline have hailed as a tremendous success, a new service which caters for the depraved and sex-mad amongst travellers, providing in-flight gratuitous sex facilities. Kabbadi Air started its service with a flight from the...
Britain's least favourite airline, English Airways, who are deep in debt, have introduced new charges for their seats. This means punters can only buy standing only tickets on their flights from, say, London to Sydney, for example and pay extra for t...
Chicago - A plane filled with guest stars from the Jerry Springer Show and Oprah failed to get off the ground on take-off yesterday at O'Hare Airport. Normally airlines account for some tubby passengers but count on the law of averages to ensure t...
Sleazyjet, the well-known economy airline has taken a giant leap in cost-cutting. From now on, when you check in online, you will be asked if you wish to volunteer to fly the aircraft, act as cabin crew or baggage handler. In the event that ins...
Budget airline EasyJetters have announced that they are being forced into taking what they describe as the "right commercial decisions" in the light of the 25% increase in landing charges at Luton Airport over the past three years. In what are lik...
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