Finally, a product on the market that helps to alleviate the unnecessary embarrassment of tooting in public. Subtle Butt is a filter patch that sticks to the inside of your underwear and filters the smell of flatulence before it offends anyone. T...
He's been troubled by flatulence in the past, and the old 'tummy rumbles' returned to haunt Tiger Woods once again today at the Open Championship at Royal St Andrews, with play being suspended due to 'excessive wind conditions'. Woods, on 5 under...
Black holes in outer galaxies have been observed releasing ginormous amounts of fiery gases and scientists at the end of gigantic telescopes are convinced they are "farting"! Adding a human touch to outer galactic happenings seems a logical manner...
FLATULENT Germans awoke today to find a welcome addition to their Full English: A serving of HEINZ baked beans in tomato sauce. It seems our sausage eating cousins now have a REAR guard weapon in their ARSE nal which is sure to put the WIND up us.
Prince Charles, the 61 year old heir apparent to the throne of England, is not making the Queen happy. Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, said that "we will be pleased when my son finally outgrows his current Whoopie Cushion phase and stops sneaking t...
The Peckham Employment Tribunal has unanimously ruled that chronic flatulence is not a disability under the Disability Discrimination Act 1995. The judgement was a disappointment for Ayama McTrumpitt (27), who claimed she had been unfairly treated...
SACRAMENTO, CA - A new strain of hyper virulent, deadly Cryptococcus gattii fungus has been discovered in the United States a new study says. The outbreak has already killed six people in Oregon and it will likely creep into northern California a...
DENVER, CO. -- Denver Fire Chief, Jim Sestrich, blames a local couples' death on their new anti-flatulent blanket manufactured by the Better Relations Blanket Company. The blanket, made with activated charcoal fabric similar to that used in milit...
We've all been in a crowded pack of people and suddenly fallen victim to a mystery fart crop duster. One minute you're talking to your friend and the next, you're gasping for air and playing detective. Was it the fat guy in front of you or the suspicious senior citizen on your right? Kip Givens, Fart Crop Dusting Spokesperson hopes to discourage this type of behavior by creating awareness about...
Unveiling a new series of alternatively fueled war planes yesterday, the U.S. Department of Defense announced a major shift in policy, converting its entire fleet of naval and air combat assets to renewable bio-fuels. "It seems a bit hypocritical"...
Barbara Walters apparently farted in front of a live audience today during the morning taping of "The View" in turn asphyxiating the hole panel audience and security staff. 66th Street is cordoned off and it is suggested commuters take alternate...
Former Vice President and eco-warrior Al Gore unveiled his newest plan to save Earth from climate change.Light your farts. "It's simple" he said today at a climate conference. "Methane is a greenhouse gas and is killing our planet. I have invente...
A former Fox News employee is threatening to file a lawsuit in New York District Court against News Corp, the parent company of Fox News Channel, and Fox News President, Roger Ailes, claiming that she was wrongfully terminated when she told the HR ma...
Prime Minister Gordon Brown has recently expressed his deepest concern towards the overgrowing number of his cabinet members who find it difficult to keep their bum shut. According to one insider source, ''the number of cabinet ministers who fart...
Pilot Corporal Lance Longshaft of the 1st Battalion North Norfolk Regiment was convicted and striped of his duties yesterday when found guilty of a dangerous flying offence. It's believed Longshaft was half way through flying his Chinook Helicopter i...
The Center for Politics and the Media is reporting today that there has been a significant increase in the cases of Gas, Bloating, and Diarrhea in the nation's capital. While these ailments have always been prevalent in the nations capital as well as...
Mrs. Jaggedone = 2 recently had the devilish idea to concoct several recipes which respond rather violently to the digestive sytem and bowel area conducing a volcanic combustion effect on the rear end, commonly known as the anus! It commenced on sunday over an evening meal of best Deutsche Sauerkraut with "Veggie Bangers" and spuds. The night was spent heaving to and fro, left and right, gas...
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