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Funny story: Armstrong denies using Apology Enhancing Drugs

Armstrong denies using Apology Enhancing Drugs

Lance Armstrong has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show to apologise for his performance enhancing drug use over seven seperate Tour de France titles. However he has since denied rumours that he was under the influence of drugs to make the apology.

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Funny story: Ozzy Osbourne has brain surgically removed to prevent Alzheimer's

Ozzy Osbourne has brain surgically removed to prevent Alzheimer's

Ozzy's House - Following the lead of his wife who cut off her breast to prevent cancer, Ozzy has had most of his brain cut out in a bold attempt to prevent Alzheimer's. His wife had this to say. "I think it has really improved his disposition. He...

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Funny story: Lance Armstrong To Lose Right To Be Called Lance Armstrong

Lance Armstrong To Lose Right To Be Called Lance Armstrong

Cycling legend Lance Armstrong, who has recently been stripped of his seven Tour de France victories because of as-yet-unproven drug-taking allegations, is rumoured to be in danger of losing his right to be called Lance Armstrong. The rumour, star...

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Funny story: The Interesting Case Of DEA K-9 Drug Dog Agent Rover Boy

The Interesting Case Of DEA K-9 Drug Dog Agent Rover Boy

LAREDO - The United States Drug Enforcement Agency, known as DEA, is reporting that K-9 Drug Dog Agent Rover Boy, who is regarded as one of the DEA's top drug sniffing dogs, has been entered into The Bow-Wow Dog Rehab Clinic in Baltimore. A spokes...

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Funny story: Fees on Phone Bills Pay For $1.5 Billion Bill for Strippers to Contact their Dealers

Fees on Phone Bills Pay For $1.5 Billion Bill for Strippers to Contact their Dealers

A program that provides subsidized phone service to low-income strippers has nearly doubled in size in Ohio in the past year - now covering more than a million strippers. But the size of the program in the state - and profits to the increasing nu...

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Funny story: USA a smugglers paradise; drugs in the South and cheese in the North!

USA a smugglers paradise; drugs in the South and cheese in the North!

The US border guards have got quite a problem on their hands because they just cannot stop smugglers invading the country from all sides! Mexican smugglers in the south enjoy a free for all whilst dodging dodgy border guards who seem to arrest Mex...

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Funny story: Antihistamines cause hay fever

Antihistamines cause hay fever

Hot on the heels of the news that headache tablets cause headaches, it turns out that hay fever tablets cause hay fever. "I suppose the clue was always on the box," said Angie Benji, of the British Medical Institution. "It doesn't say 'Cures Heada...

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Funny story: Testes are 'Prozac factories' says report

Testes are 'Prozac factories' says report

London - Women who wear sensible shoes have always suspected as much, shunning their delights over 'chemical cosh' fears. Those suspicions have now been vindicated as a report published today says anti-depressants and mood altering toxins are foun...

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Funny story: Junkies target the over sixties

Junkies target the over sixties

Police have asked the aged and generally over sixties to improve security on their homes after a spate of burglaries have targeted this vulnerable section of society. "Now that pharmacies have stupendous security," said Police Inspector Gadget, "d...

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Funny story: Why are there more female doctors than male?

Why are there more female doctors than male?

Recent polls show that females now outnumber males 65:35 in the Medical profession. The general consensus has been that as the education system has become more modular, GCSEs and A levels have been better tailored for females to succeed by doing away with the last minute cramming and pressure of all or nothing exams that boys tend to favour. They score better grades than their male counterparts...

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Funny story: Heiress who tried to smuggle drugs into US embassy reception found dead

Heiress who tried to smuggle drugs into US embassy reception found dead

London - Eva Rausing's attempts to smuggle heroin and crack cocaine into a reception at the USA's London embassy in 2008 ended with a feeble slap on the wrist. The affair was lampooned widely with fake 'Oooh Mr Ambassador, with these crack wraps y...

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Funny story: Naked Scottsdale Carjacker Was Probably On Bath Salts - Scottsdale PD

Naked Scottsdale Carjacker Was Probably On Bath Salts - Scottsdale PD

Scottsdale Az: An off duty law enforcement officer with the Scottsdale Police Department today told reporters that the man taken into custody earlier today following an incident in the city was probably on drugs, most likely bath salts. In a terri...

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Funny story: Third Mayan stone inscription says 'Sorry for the f**k-up, soothsayers OD'd on peyote!"

Third Mayan stone inscription says 'Sorry for the f**k-up, soothsayers OD'd on peyote!"

La Corona, Guatemala - The Mayan end-of-daze Calendar has been finally outed as total crap after archaeologists found a turd - er...third! - vital clue in some ancient masonry. Newly discovered tablets from a Guatemalan apothecary's cave poo-poo t...

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Funny story: Holder Admits to 'Fast and Furious' Foul-Up: 'We Forgot the Drugs'

Holder Admits to 'Fast and Furious' Foul-Up: 'We Forgot the Drugs'

Washington DC - Under mounting pressure to disclose more details about the government's Fast and Furious gun-running fiasco, Attorney General Eric Holder revealed today that the effort failed because a "drug tracking" component of the operation was n...

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Funny story: Millions of idiots expected to go blind Monday

Millions of idiots expected to go blind Monday

San Francisco CA - Scientists predict that millions of rebellious idiotic, rude, young adults will be blinded Monday. Dr. Smerve Leude of the Whackover Institute told reporters that the eclipse of the sun Monday would not be total. Damaging rays wo...

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Funny story: President Obama Changes Stance on Drug Legalization After Being Caught With Bag of Weed

President Obama Changes Stance on Drug Legalization After Being Caught With Bag of Weed

Several hours after publicly declaring his opposition to the legalization of such currently prohibited drugs as heroin, cocaine and marijuana, President Barack Obama retracted his anti-legalization statement and told reporters that his administration...

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Funny story: Compulsory drug testing of MPs announced

Compulsory drug testing of MPs announced

London - "I'm damned if I let some Met rookie swab the insides of my, er, gob," Nick Clegg snarled today as the announcement was posted on Speaker Bercow's blogsite. The Deputy PM's protests come amid reports that police armed with new drug testin...

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