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Funny satire stories about Driving

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Funny story: Justices, 5-4 Reject Cartoon Character Spending Limits

Justices, 5-4 Reject Cartoon Character Spending Limits

Washington - Overruling two precedents about cartoon character's First Amendment rights, the bitterly divided Supreme Joke of a Court on Thursday ruled that the government may not interfere with the outright purchase of the next congress by cartoon c...

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Funny story: Tomorrow is National Knock a Cyclist Over Day

Tomorrow is National Knock a Cyclist Over Day

Have you ever been annoyed when a cyclist undertakes you while you're stuck in a 2 mile traffic jam for hours and hours and wanted to open your passenger door so the bike slams into it and sends its passenger into temporary orbit? Have you ever wa...

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Funny story: Headlights slow cars down

Headlights slow cars down

Most drivers will agree, getting home from work when it's raining takes longer. They will also admit that the same is true when it is dark, foggy or snowing. The Highways Agency got a team of scientists from the University of Bristol to find out w...

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Funny story: New driving tests for men and women

New driving tests for men and women

The government has announced plans for new driving tests designed with men and women in mind. Gone are 3 point turns, parallel parking and mirror signal manoeuvre. In comes emergency stop while applying your make up, driving safely in the middle lane...

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Funny story: How to drive when you're 103 - Part 2

How to drive when you're 103 - Part 2

Welcome young ladies and gentlesirs to my latest missive I have received a veritable inundation of correspondence following my initial instructional verbiabge. Unfortunately I do not understand such Hogarthean terms such as "Moron", "Ancient Git" or "Oh for F**** Sake Not Him Again" I must therefore take your mass of letters of proof of my correctness As more hirsute or intelligent re...

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Funny story: Paddy Hopkirk Arrested for Speeding in London

Paddy Hopkirk Arrested for Speeding in London

Remember the 1964 Monte Carlo Rally and the winner Padraig Hopkirk in a Mini Cooper S? Well the 77 year old Paddy is still at it. Last night, just after midnight, Police finally stopped Hopkirk on Park Lane where he was clocked at 80 MPH in his...

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Funny story: How to drive when you're 103 - Part 1

How to drive when you're 103 - Part 1

Welcome gentlemen and young ladies to this missive on how to use our modern roads. It has now been a fulsome number of years since those blasted "AA" radicals forced our good lords and ladies to repeal our simple law that motorised perambulators should be accompanied by a stout bearer carrying a red flag. Apparently our modern roads are somewhat velocitous places in greater need than ever of my...

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Funny story: Highways Agency to Shut Down; Lack of Cones Blamed

Highways Agency to Shut Down; Lack of Cones Blamed

The Highways Agency - the department responsible for closing Britain's roads - is to be forced to close. In a shocking revelation we have learned that the Highways Agency has run out of traffic cones and is even appealing to students, stag parties...

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Funny story: IDIOT Tips Her Hat to Idiotic States Actually Considering Getting Rid of Speed Cameras!

IDIOT Tips Her Hat to Idiotic States Actually Considering Getting Rid of Speed Cameras!

Never mind the saved lives. Never mind the safer road conditions. But do mind the extra revenue, since it is not enough. That is what many lawmakers are saying about the "success" of speed cameras on our nation's roadways. Well I say absolute...

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Funny story: Las Cruces, New Mexico Bans Cell Phone Use While Driving

Las Cruces, New Mexico Bans Cell Phone Use While Driving

The city of Las Cruces, New Mexico has banned the usage of cell phones while driving. Holding a cell phone and speaking into it will not be permitted, and neither will sending or receiving text messages. Using a hands free device and speaking with a hands free device, however, is still permissable. Offenders will receive a ticket for any offense of driving while using a cell phone, unless the...

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Funny story: The Reality Of Man Made Global Warming Being A Lie Causes More Havoc For Britain's Motorists

The Reality Of Man Made Global Warming Being A Lie Causes More Havoc For Britain's Motorists

Heavy reality has returned to parts of Britain, causing disruption to motorists and forcing the cancellation of some sports fixtures. Drivers had to battle icy truth and road closures as the reality that man made global warming is a lie hit parts...

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Funny story: Driver Fined For Scratching Arse

Driver Fined For Scratching Arse

A driver has been fined for scratching his arse whilst in a long line of traffic. Stig O'Grady of Wellingborough was at the wheel of his Ford Cockring when traffic built up near the ring road. O'Grady sat for over an hour without moving. It was th...

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Funny story: Entire Town Listed as "Slow Children At Play" Zone.

Entire Town Listed as "Slow Children At Play" Zone.

The population of Hamelin, Indiana was falling faster than the autumn leaves thanks to the idiocy of it's children. That was until the town council declared the whole town a "Slow Children At Play" zone. Normally reserved for quiet streets in resi...

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Funny story: Fuel Economy - A Case Study

Fuel Economy - A Case Study

Friends of my son Kevin and he went out for the evening recently. They had a designated driver, were safe and had a lot of fun together. One of them, reported the next day on FaceBook exactly how much he drank. He claimed six 32 ounce and three 24 ounce beers. I got to thinking... By my calculations, (6x32) + (3x24) = 264 fluid ounces. There are 128 fluid ounces to a gallon = 2.0625 gallons...

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Funny story: Ashley Cole Ticketed For Driving His Lamborghini At 104 MPH!

Ashley Cole Ticketed For Driving His Lamborghini At 104 MPH!

LONDON - Chelsea football star Ashley Cole and his wife Cheryl were merely out driving to get some fish and chips when they were stopped by London police on the A3, aka The Portsmouth Road. The officer Bardolf Crownridge informed Mr. Cole that he...

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Funny story: Science Proves Texting While Driving Dangerous

Science Proves Texting While Driving Dangerous

Science has triumphed again. The University of Life in Utah has published a study which details why texting (sending SMS messages on a cellular phone) while driving an automobile is dangerous. "Forward lateral control is markedly reduced," said P...

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Funny story: UK Drink Driving Limit to be lowered

UK Drink Driving Limit to be lowered

In the run up to the Christmas season, it has been announced that the statutory drink driving limit is to be lowered from two units to one. One unit is a small glass of wine, half a pint of a normal strength beer or sniffing from a bottle of spiri...

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