Lloyds TSB is to merge with the troubled HBOS, creating a banking giant that will hold almost a third of UK customers' savings and mortgages. Economists have reacted by advising investors to immediately withdraw their savings from the new company.
Washington, DC - Be it Bear Sterns, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac or even AIG, the word on Wall Street is that the Feds are willing to go along with the new economic model of privatizing the profits while socializing the liability to Main Street. Once agai...
With the recent collapse of Lehman Brothers and the credit crunch McDonalds have decide to combine takeaway food and banking. The idea is that the more junk food that people buy will save them money on purchasing food. This money can then be direc...
A confectionery group today revealed that the whole credit crunch was a covert advertising campaign that got out of hand. "The Credit Crunch is actually our new chocolate based crunchy confectionery snack aimed at the Kit Kat sector of the market.
Tory leader David Cameron and Shadow Chancellor George Osborne have opened up to nation, describing how the credit crunch is affecting them and their families. At a joint appearance on ITV's This Morning, they detailed the steps they have taken to a...
European bankers have now admitted that they rigged the results of the Large Hadron Collider - which runs beneath Switzerland, Germany and France - in order to create an implosion in the American financial system. "We were really upset that Credit...
Lehman Brothers, the fourth largest investment bank in the entire Universe, has filed for bankruptcy protection, tossing a spanner into the capricious works of the galactic financial system. The news led to sharp falls in share prices across the...
Leading scientists and financial experts are agreeing today that the Large Hadron Collider has created a financial black hole so big that all the economies of the west will collapse into a deep depression that will make 1929's Black Tuesday look like...
The Worlds most wanted man Osama Bin Laden was revealed as being behind the global credit crunch. Osama's tactic was to use many identities to get ridiculously huge mortgages across the planet then deliberatly defaulting. A bedsit in the east...
There was more chaos in the Financial Sector this morning, when, amidst chaotic scenes after the startling news of the Bradley & Bingley takeover of Feddie Mac & Fannie Mae, the lights went out at the London Stock Exchange! The news of the...
Extraordinary events in the US Finance market this morning, as beleagured UK building society, the Bradley & Bingley, made a successful takeover bid of the troubled Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae mortgage giants. The US companies guarantee or own...
The latest industry to sttart feeling the pinch of the Global Credit Crunch is the one you would have least expected, the one that you would never have dreamed of, the one you prayed wouldn't suffer - PORN! Yes, even porn has 'highs' and 'lows', a...
The price of Sex on Britain's streets has now fallen for the third month in a row, giving rise to fears of a global meltdown in the industry, it has been reported. Prostitutes in London are now charging their lowest prices for more than 30 years,...
In a shock announcement this morning, Prime Minister Gordon Brown has announced plans to put the population of the UK into suspended animation for the next 5 years. In a press conference at 10 Downing street this morning the Prime Minister announc...
Britons were struck incredulous when they discovered that Home Secretary Smith was the widow of JFK and Aristotle Onassis. More shock came from a leaked document from the Secretary that warned PM Brown about the impending cataclysm facing the UK fro...
The UK is facing its worst economic crisis for more than 60 years, and things could sink as low as they were in Deutschland between the Wars, said the Chancellor Alistair Darling yesterday. The real shock, however, is that the government are now a...
A credit expert today gave his expert opinion on how to avoid running up large credit debt. Shoplift, he said, instead of using the plastic, use the old five finger discount. This strategy has been in practice for many years and is tried and tr...
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