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Funny satire stories about Banks

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Funny story: "Give us back our Money", says the Banks

"Give us back our Money", says the Banks

Many cash machines in Sydney, Australia, were accidentally overpaying customers this week. So if you take money under these circumstances, what is the correct procedure, legally and morally? For customers of the Commonwealth Bank in Sydney this we...

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Funny story: Bob Diamond - Barclays Boss "Worth Every Penny" Of £6.5million 2010 Bonus

Bob Diamond - Barclays Boss "Worth Every Penny" Of £6.5million 2010 Bonus

The banking community today issued angry responses at those who criticised Barclays boss Bob Diamond's £6.5 million bonus payment. According to insiders, poor old Bob is feeling the pinch, and needs a bit of extra cash just as much as the next man...

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Funny story: Banker Returns £2 Million Bonus

Banker Returns £2 Million Bonus

Top Banker Arnold Ponsonby has returned his £2 million pound bonus because he is sure it must be a mistake. 'I do not deserve this payment' he told reporters outside his terraced house in Mayfair 'with the economy shrinking by 0.6% I feel I must p...

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Funny story: Royal Bank of Scotland confirmed as being run by lucky bastards

Royal Bank of Scotland confirmed as being run by lucky bastards

With the news that RBS bankers are to get £950m in bonuses despite making a £1.1bn loss and costing the country hundreds of millions in cutbacks as the country props it up, it was revealed today that the bank is is in fact run by complete lucky basta...

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Funny story: Banks Show the Way

Banks Show the Way

Following the lead of Barclays Bank the rest of the people in Britain are now going to paying 1% in tax. This move follows the Government honouring their statement that 'we all in this together'. The Treasury is busy advising everyone of the ne...

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Funny story: UK bankers confirm that they won't be taking big bonuses after all

UK bankers confirm that they won't be taking big bonuses after all

Following a consultation with the government, which included a meeting with Chancellor Ozzy Osborne and the rather tall Business Secretary Dr Vince Price, the chief executives of the big four banks decided that out of respect to the rather large pile...

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Funny story: Banking on Banks

Banking on Banks

With the news that over half Tory funds come from the City - £11.4 million in total last year - George Osborne has increased the tax on Banks by £800 million. Among the party of 60 City donors who gave more than £50,000 to the Tories there was dis...

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Funny story: Alien Brain Beetles Found in Dead Banker's Brain

Alien Brain Beetles Found in Dead Banker's Brain

Alien Brain Beetles have been found in the middle of a dead banker's brain. No one knows how they killed the banker but they are thought to be responsible for his greedy behaviour and insensitivity to poor people, just before he died. Similar bra...

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Funny story: ATM

ATM

The word 'Wise', in Random House, is defined as 'having the power of discerning and judging properly as what is true or right;… judicious, prudent;… possessed of scholarly knowledge… having knowledge of magic or witchcraft.' On the other hand, the word 'fool' implies lack or loss of reason or intelligence. There are hundreds of saying regarding these two traits such as:" The wise does at once w...

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Funny story: Bankers in Bunkers - Bonkers!

Bankers in Bunkers - Bonkers!

Terrified top bankers from London's City area have fled to specially fortified bunkers deep underground in a secret location, though this paper can reveal that it is somewhere under the English Channel. It is thought that a series of bunkers for use...

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Funny story: Bankers Smile As Snow Takes Away Spotlight on Super-Bonuses

Bankers Smile As Snow Takes Away Spotlight on Super-Bonuses

LONDON - In a sneaky sly way in the City, the snow which has caused untold traffic and emergency service misery, is the bankers' gold. While the snow is diverting attention away from huge super-bonuses and the fact that Russia won the 2014 WC bid,...

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Funny story: Bankers Face Bonus Clampdown

Bankers Face Bonus Clampdown

As George Osborne and Vince Cable sing a duet on the action they will take if the Banks pay their top executives massive bonuses for Christmas, Bankers are preparing themselves for an austere Christmas. 'No turkey for us' revealed one top Banker '...

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Funny story: Lloyds Lose 9 million Dollars

Lloyds Lose 9 million Dollars

Lloyds Bank have lost the 9 million dollars invested in their special 0.000001% security bonds by the great Sudanese President Omar Bashear - who lost part of his ear supposedly in a bid to outdo Van Goth, but in reality because he lost in a Boxing c...

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Funny story: $2600 for a Pizza Shocks Connecticut Customer

$2600 for a Pizza Shocks Connecticut Customer

"Mamma Mia," she screamed, when she realized that the charge for her just-delivered pizza had demolished her bank account. Good grief, it was only a $30 pizza, she reasoned. Could the tax and delivery charge really be that high? "Inflatio...

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Funny story: Astronomic UK debt

Astronomic UK debt

Follow the logic: I am a normal UK citizen. I am £80,000 in debt, which I will have to rob off my friends to repay, or at least borrow from them. Another "friend" is £20,000 in debt. I demand to loan them this amount despite my inpecunity. I can't afford it now, and I'm not assured that I will be repaid. Of course, the banks are going to fall over themselves to lend me the cash to do so.

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Funny story: Bankers Told 'You've Never Had it so Good'

Bankers Told 'You've Never Had it so Good'

The Government's Special Adviser, Lord Young has advised Banks that they have never had it so good. 'Bailed out by tax payers after you ruined the economy. The Labour Party blamed. Now you are back in profit and bonuses are coming with Father Christm...

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Funny story: "Money Doesn't Exist" claims banks

"Money Doesn't Exist" claims banks

NEW YORK CITY & LONDON - Bankers today announced that 'money', usually worked out in 'banknotes' or 'coins', doesn't actually exist. Money, a device used to measure the value of an item, has existed as paper or coinage since the bronze age. Ho...

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