"I have done everything I said I would do," Mr. Obama says at every opportunity. "But what I didn't do, I will do in the next four years." Yes, conservative sticklers will cavil that the second assertion contradicts the first. But common sense, liberally applied, allows one to understand the president's meaning, which is simply that he has kept many or most of his most important promises, as he...
1. Numbers. Ten of them, actually. Maybe Roman, most likely Arabic. 2. Letters. Possibly formulated into words. Whether or not those words are cogent or in the right order is completely up in the air. 3. Links to other Top 10 Lists.Why are you getting a link to the "Top Ten Ways to Sodomize a Goat"? Because you're a twisted fuck. That's why. 4. Arbitrary metrics. After several minutes of...
SEAL Team 666, according to the New York Times, is a "special-ops squad that fights demons, possessed humans, mass-murdering cults and evil in its most dark and ancient form." It's comprised of five specially-trained SEALs and a dog whose mission is to "protect America from supernatural attack," says author Weston Ochse. They receive their orders through the office of the Vice President, but what...
BuzzKill is a bleeding heart liberal news organization intensely focused on delivering it's own liberal agenda on the internet. It promotes a rapidly imploding leftist philosophy. Here are the ten worst things You'll remember About BuzzKill should you stumble upon it in the backwater swamps of the deep, deep, dark abscesses of the web: 1. BuzzKill still thinks Obama is relevant. Even NewsTw...
This list is based on a survey from relationship experts in hollywood. People such as: Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, Hugh Hefner, and even the Kardashians. 1. Your favorite musician is Justin Bieber 2. You don't know the difference between "their" "there" and "they're" 3. Your nickname is snake 4. You're a plumber 5. Your last name is Kardashian 6. You still use Myspace 7. You're 40 and l...
Bling Bling Magazine ran a survey and asked its readers to name the hip hop band or bands with the worst names. Quandell "Yo-Yo" Lemonmuckle, editor of Bling Bling Magazine stated that his publication had a total of 49,701 surveys returned. Entry forms were received from every state in the union except for Arizona. Lemonmuckle stated that he also received surveys from Zimbabwe, Kenya, Du...
Has your boyfriend or husband suddenly started grooming himself before work? Has he lost interest in the bedroom? Is he sneaking around whispering on the phone and receiving late night text messages? Have you spotted lipstick on his collar? There is probably a very reasonable explanation for all the above. For instance he may have started grooming himself for work because there could be a prom...
Paul McCartney played the bass guitar with The Beatles which is the most famous band in the history of recorded music. The Beatles got their start back in the early 60s at Liverpool's Cavern Club. At one time they were actually known as The Silver Beatles but McCartney suggested that the the name be shortened to just The Beatles in order to be able to fit the name on the front of Ringo's Lud...
Congressman Ron Paul of Texas was recently asked how he felt running in the GOP presidential race for the highest office in the land. The spry 76-year-old smiled and remarked that he felt as happy as a woodpecker in a Popsicle stick factory. The veteran politician from Texas is no stranger to the harsh world of political mudslinging. Earlier this year when Michele Bachmann stated that he...
David Letterman has stated that the greatest late night talk show host of all time was Johnny Carson. He pointed out that Johnny is without a doubt the best even though Jay "The Chinmaster" Leno thinks that he is. David has gone on record as saying that Leno and him both learned 90 percent of what they know about being late night TV talk show hosts from the great Johnny Carson. He then adde...
* Who cuts your hair? * Do you model your management style on Basil Fawlty or Gordon Brittas? * How the hell did you get in as London Mayor - AGAIN? Would you still have won if Labour had put someone else instead of Ken Livingstone up against you? * Wasn't it enough making a fool of yourself on comedy panel shows, now you have to do it as Mayor of London? * Is it true you've hired an...
Many people assume that a neck tattoo can have adverse effects. You might be stereotyped, and in the end, it may cause practical difficulties. However, our survey reveled 10 good reasons why you should consider getting a neck tattoo: 10. People will notice you. 9. You've already tattooed everything else. 8. You're less likely to get mugged. 7. You can hide a hickey. 6. It will dis...
Men, is your dating life DOA? Not to worry! These top-secret tips from NYC's #1 professional matchmaker will put the "life" back in your love: 1) Don't be a douchebag! Yes, it's true that ladies loooove douchebags - but they love non-douchebags even more! You can get plenty of trashy booty by acting like a jerk, but if you're interested in some seriously high-class love, acting like a decent, c...
Adult Beverage Magazine has just released their list of The Top 10 Most Unpopular Drinks of 2012. Magazine Editor Ballantine Brouhahaburger, 88, pointed out that this year a total of 917,361 people responded to The Adult Beverage Magazine Rate The Drinks Survey. People from every state in the union participated in the survey. The Rate The Drinks Survey committee executive senior director Gen...
It's the season of Prom Kings & Prom Queens with lots of starched overalls and tissued bras on starry-eyed teenagers looking forward to their high school prom this year in Kentucky. Thus far, these have been the top fifteen themes: 15. "Double-Wide Pride!" 14. "The Beauty of Buck Dancing" 13. "Indoor Plumbing, Big City!" 12. "Born To Be Wide!" 11. "The Brother & Siste...
After walking the streets of New York City before he finally managed to get "Carrie", his first book, published, Stephen King had 15 other books ready and waiting at home. However, the editors made him change the titles. It's a good thing. Stephen King's Top 15 Worst Book Titles: 15. Sodom's Lot 14. Wojo 13. Starfarter 12. The Dude Zone 11. Fag of Bones 10. Delores C...
with Prince Constantin Ferdinand Maria of Liechtenstein, Winner of the 'Landlocked Prince Who Most Resembles An Old Goat' Shield in 1998 First, a word from our patron: 'Salutations, sturdy goat-lovers. Here are some more facts about the goats. I trust that you will these goat facts enjoy without further ado: Why not come to Luxembourg this year and visit the Cheese Mountain at Brikkelbrack and...
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