Fanatical Burnley FC supporter, Tommy Dobson sparked outrage today when he he described fans of fierce local rivals, Blackburn Rovers, as: "Stupid bastards." The remark was sparked by Sky TV coverage of the Blackburn Rovers v Bolton Wanderers rele...
Portsmouth, home of the Royal Navy, is bracing itself this morning in anticipation of a visit by neighbours from Southampton at lunch time and the fear that a game of football might take place. "We're prepared for the visit of the Scummers," said...
Following the BBC Frozen Planet polar bear scenes - which were actually filmed in a zoo - controversy, a probably even more profoundly shocking revelation is about to rock the nation to its very foundations. Former BBC special effects wizard, Keit...
Neil Warnock has claimed that Liverpool striker Luis Suarez has the most dangerous teeth in the Premier League. "Suarez was like Ken Dodd on acid out there today. His hampsteads never stopped moving and they tore our defence to shreds. Our forwa...
Breaking news suggests that a Real Madrid source last night revealed to Barcelona coach Pep Guardiola, that Real boss Jose Mourinho went home after last night's match at the Bernabeu and kicked the family cat up the arse in frustration. Mourinho's...
UEFA Champions League - It's good news for London, but a disaster for Manchester, as both Manchester clubs - City and United - crashed out of the tournament, whilst Arsenal and Chelsea progressed to the knockout stages. City fanatic, Liam Gaggler,...
The football world was left dazed and confused this week after the untimely death of the legendary philosopher Socrates. Born in 469 BC, Socrates was named after the charismatic footballer Socrates who captained Brazil in the 1982 and 1986 World...
The bitter blow on Saturday which led to a West Ham defeat, when they could have led the Championship was my fault. At least, partially. News of the bombshell about Beckham and Tevez joining West Ham next season, if we got into the Premier League, was hacked by an unknown Spurs fan. Fearing a debacle next season when Scott Parker might also re-join the Hammers this individual then informed the...
Socrates, the footballer and philosopher, has died at the tender age of 57. He had the honour of playing for his native Brazil country 60 times, as well as being one of the founders of Western philosophy in his native Greece. Born in Athens in 469...
Mortified Manchester United fans could only reel back from their TV sets in abject terror this afternoon as the FA Cup 3rd Round draw was made at Wembley. It's Manchester City versus Manchester United at the Shittihead Stadium in the grand old tourna...
Given the certainty that West Ham will be in the Premier League next season, Uncle Sam Allardyce has obtained the agreement of both David Beckham and Carlos Tevez to sign for the Hammers. David Beckham speaking from Los Angeles told us exclusively...
Tabloid journalists have been advised to seek help if they become depressed and experience feelings of worthlessness in the wake of the Gary Speed tragedy. Scores of hardened hacks are reported to have succumbed to stress and resorted to heavy dr...
It was announced today by Master Bates, Chairman of Leeds United, that Elland Road will be naming an East Stand suite in the memory of footballer Gary Speed. Although a very difficult word for the average professional footballer to overcome - ques...
As Portsmouth FC finds itself embroiled in yet another financial scandal, one fan has come up with an answer to the crisis. The future of the south coast club was once again thrown into doubt yesterday after owner Vladimir Antonov's company, CSI,...
As high oil prices threaten world-wide financial stability, another energy crisis is unfolding closer to home. With Arsenal's top players 'running on empty', according to Manager Arsene Wenger, the Gunners' Chief has been forced to implement anoth...
QPR manager Neil Warnock was left seething after the Premier League refused his request to bring in a goalkeeper on an emergency loan following injuries to Paddy Kenny and understudy Brian Murphy. "Paddy has got an enlarged Gluteus Maximus and his...
Keen to show he is as Politically Correct as the head of any other organisation, FIFA President, Sepp Blatter, has asked that supporters associations for football clubs across the UK to adopt politically correct chants. "We wish to cut out the swe...
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