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Funny satire stories about Football (Soccer)

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Funny story: Little Pea's pea-shooter pees Liverpool off!

Little Pea's pea-shooter pees Liverpool off!

The climax to Saturday's non-event was no more than the "Little Pea" peeing all the red half of Liverpool off by entering the arena. He then shot in a pea off of his head and proved to all of the world that he is a master-class "Pea-shooter". Up t...

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Funny story: Abuse down to my skin colour, not my being a reprehnsible twat, insists Evra

Abuse down to my skin colour, not my being a reprehnsible twat, insists Evra

Manchester United full-back Patrice Evra has highlighted his skin colour as being the key factor in the on-field abuse he continually receives from opposition players, rather than his being a reprehensible twat for most of his working day. The Fre...

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Funny story: Neil Warnock blames tart's boots

Neil Warnock blames tart's boots

QPR manager Neil Warnock has blamed flimsy footwear for his team's draw against Blackburn on saturday. "DJ Campbell broke his metatarsal while training in a pair of yellow Jimmy Choos on Thursday and it has cost us two points" claimed an angry Wa...

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Funny story: Kangaroo with me or I'm off

Kangaroo with me or I'm off

Everton midfielder Tim Cahill is stalling over a new contract after making some unusual demands from the cash strapped club. As well as asking for ten thousand pounds more a week he's also asking for kangaroo soup to be made available at the canteen...

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Funny story: Honours Even In Anfield Showdown - Gerrard And Chicharito Shine - Liverpool Fans Win Chant Of The Day

Honours Even In Anfield Showdown - Gerrard And Chicharito Shine - Liverpool Fans Win Chant Of The Day

Liverpool and Manchester United scrapped out a hard fought draw today at Anfield. Gerrard put the home team ahead with a fluffed free kick which somehow squirmed through a broken defensive wall. With ten minutes left on the clock, Javier 'Chicharito'...

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Funny story: Dream role for Rooney

Dream role for Rooney

Wayne Rooney has been offered a part in a west end show when the current football season ends and according to close friends he's considering it. "He's out of the first three qualifying games in the European championships so yes he has time to...

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Funny story: Liverpool promise to unite with Everton if they lose to Man Utd Saturday!

Liverpool promise to unite with Everton if they lose to Man Utd Saturday!

If Liverpool lose to Man Utd Saturday their owners have promised that they will unite with their Scouse neighbours, Everton, and form a club called Liverton FC. They hope that this unification will produce a club capable of competing with their Ma...

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Funny story: Warnock wants to sign Diouf!

Warnock wants to sign Diouf!

Queens Park Rangers Manager Neil Warnock is set to sign ex Liverpool and Blackburn winger El-Hadji Diouf within days. The Senagal international who is currently without a club and working as an escort in a gay bar can't wait to sign. "I was wron...

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Funny story: Abramovich tells his stalker the truth about Torres

Abramovich tells his stalker the truth about Torres

Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich came face to face with a stalker after the girl got past security on his yacht. The girl was armed with only a pen and begged the Russian millionaire to sign his name between her legs! He refused despite the girl beggin...

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Funny story: Chelsea F.C Looking for new home

Chelsea F.C Looking for new home

Chelsea Football club are looking into a move away from their Stadium Stamford Bridge and are looking to move into a new shithole in the next couple of years. This news has angered many fans who believe that a move to an even bigger shithole, than th...

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Funny story: England Qualify For Euro 2012... Not Again, Says Long-Suffering Wife

England Qualify For Euro 2012... Not Again, Says Long-Suffering Wife

England, under Fabio Capello, qualified for the finals of Euro 2012 in Montenegro last night, despite 'talismanic' strike Wayne Rooney's dismissal after 73 minutes. The Manchester Utd Scouse hair transplant victim was sent off for kicking Dzudovic...

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Funny story: Arsenal's Ramsey Says It's Easier To Play For Wales Than The Gunners

Arsenal's Ramsey Says It's Easier To Play For Wales Than The Gunners

Young Welsh skipper Aaron Ramsey reckons he finds it easier to play for his country than the misfiring Gunners. The 20-year-old midfielder has become a regular for the north Londoners again after recovering from a badly broken leg. But as the W...

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Funny story: QPR refuse to share new stadium with Chelsea

QPR refuse to share new stadium with Chelsea

High flying QPR have dashed Chelsea's dreams of sharing a luxury new stadium in Shepherd's Bush. The upwardly mobile West London club have realised that their bijou dwelling in Loftus Road is too small for Champion's League football and are looki...

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Funny story: Premier League Loses Portsmouth Pub Case

Premier League Loses Portsmouth Pub Case

A Portsmouth pub landlady has won her case against the Premier League over the right to show matches broadcast from other countries but some reckon the decision has come too late. The European Court of Justice found that Karen Murphy had the right...

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Funny story: Arsene Wenger Ready To Turn His Back On Arsenal - Admits Talking To Manchester City Officials

Arsene Wenger Ready To Turn His Back On Arsenal - Admits Talking To Manchester City Officials

Beleaguered Arsenal suffered another hammer blow yesterday, as sources revealed that embattled manager, Arsene Wenger is prepared to turn his back on the club, and has refused to deny that he has had talks with representatives of Manchester City.

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Funny story: Atkinson "sincerely" apologizes to Everton's Rodwell after red card rescinded

Atkinson "sincerely" apologizes to Everton's Rodwell after red card rescinded

Referee Martin Atkinson has issued a "sincere" apology to Everton midfielder Jack Rodwell after he controversially sent the 20-year-old off during Saturday's Merseyside Derby. The England under-21 international was shown a straight red card for...

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Funny story: Steve McClaren quits Forest even though it's been his most successful managerial stint

Steve McClaren quits Forest even though it's been his most successful managerial stint

Steve McClaren has left Nottingham Forest even though the four months spent in charge of the club were his most successful to date. McClaren guided his side to no less than eight points in their opening ten matches of the season, averaging just under...

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