Several hours after publicly declaring his opposition to the legalization of such currently prohibited drugs as heroin, cocaine and marijuana, President Barack Obama retracted his anti-legalization statement and told reporters that his administration...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Vice-President Joe Biden speaking from the White House Rose Garden informed the members of the White House press corps not to be concerned about the so called HookerGate incident. The vice-president stated that President Obama h...
Washington - "A terrible thing to happen in your husband's re-erection - uh...re-election! - year, Ma'am," was how one hang-dog protection officer put it to Michelle Obama this weekend. The First Lady is livid amid reports that a dozen Secret Serv...
COLLEGE PARK, MARYLAND (ABSNN) DNA has proven "conclusively" that Thomas Jefferson, the third US President, is the true father of Barack Obama who now sits in power in the White House. Scientists at the University of Maryland claim "the findings put...
Researchers for Arizona's famous Sheriff Arpaio have been in contact with several of Barack Obama's teachers and classmates from his elementary school days in Malaysia. Arpaio, a critic of and target of the Administration, has been in the news latel...
Sybrina Fulton, the mother of Trayvon Martin, the teen who was shot and killed by a self-appointed neighborhood security guard, has filed a paternity action against President Obama, seeking back child support for the 17 years of Trayvon's abbreviated...
The United States Bureau of Labor has reported that for the first time in the past 6 years, unemployment rates have dropped a statistically remarkable 3%, with a corresponding 3% increase in levels of wage slavery. According to President Obama, th...
WASHINGTON,DC (ABSNN) A joint session of the House and Senate approved the cancellation of the 2012 Presidential election today in favor of "Armed, one-to-one combat," to settle the thing once and for all. "We're tired of hanging chads (W), elect...
President Obama announced that for the remainder of his presidential term, his administration's primary security initiative will be to find a divisibility test for the number 7. "A divisibility test for 7 has been a sort of Holy Grail, eluding us...
Yesterday, a shamefaced President Obama confided to his Cabinet members that he accidentally left a crucial line out of the recently enacted Affordable Care Act. Specifically, Obama mistakenly omitted a clause known as the "Ph.D. Provision," whic...
Conservatives are wondering today if the long held tradition of the Supreme Court keeping its decisions secret until their official release to the public has been broken. Yesterday, President Obama spoke about the SCOTUS deliberation of the Pati...
WASHINGTON, DC (ABSNN) President Barack Obama is resigning at the end of April to allow for the installment of the first British Monarch to rule over the North American "colonies' since George III. As of May 1, 2012, Prince William, Duke of Cambridg...
When she was growing up, Hillary Clinton was determined to break through traditional barriers to feminine achievement. In other words, Hillary was NEVER going to be just a secretary. However, like many women, Hillary found that traditional feminin...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Vice-President Joe Biden recently stated that being the vice-president of the United States is the greatest job that a person could ever have. He noted that very little is expected of you and 90 percent of the time your official...
WASHINGTON, DC (ABSNN)-President Obama is not afraid of the Tea Party, not by a long shot it appears. In his weekly radio address to the nation, President Obama told listeners that the Tea Party is too hyped up to listen to, too inarticulate to...
Maryland, USA - Highly placed sources are naming 'an extremely close relation' of the President's Office of Management and Budget CEO as one of three $640 million Mega Millions lottery winners. The lucky ticket consisting of randomly-selected numb...
BILLINGSGATE POST - It doesn't get any more confusing than this. When was the last time you heard an Afro-American white man charge a Hispanic-white man with racial mayhem? Sounds like a nomenclature race war except for the fact that both men have the same skin color, or nearly so. For some, the fact that the New York Times referred to George Zimmerman, the man who admits killing Trayvon Marti...
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