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Funny story: Elderly staying sexually active is the number one cause of hip-joint replacements, knee injuries and denture stains, study claims

Elderly staying sexually active is the number one cause of hip-joint replacements, knee injuries and denture stains, study claims

South Beach, Florida - A study reports that elderly people are staying sexually active well into their 60's, 70's, 80's and beyond what God, Mother Nature or their bodies intended. Although no doubt keeping the elderly mentally vibrant an...

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Funny story: Loony Social Services Stormtroopers take fertilized egg into care

Loony Social Services Stormtroopers take fertilized egg into care

Mr. and Mrs Jones had just settled in for the night in their pleasant home in Surrey and were getting "bu-sy" when there was an almighty thud from their front door followed by the sound of jackboots on the stairs, then thei...

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Funny story: Only 2,000 UK prostitutes report causes 2012 London Olympics panic

Only 2,000 UK prostitutes report causes 2012 London Olympics panic

London - (Ass Mess): Expect a massive surge of foreign 'guest workers' in time for the 2012 London Olympics. That was the stark message from the Department for Culture, Media and Sport today after alarming statistics were released s...

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Funny story: We Need More S.E.X. & Less S.M.S. Please.

We Need More S.E.X. & Less S.M.S. Please.

LONDON (Defecated News) - A new study from the Institute Of New Studies has suggested that the rise in non-personal communication methods and rise in remote and mobile technology could result in a natural birth control phenomenon. St...

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Funny story: Men prefer pet names, women too

Men prefer pet names, women too

(Munich, Germany) Human males enjoy being called nicknames that they feel enhance their prowess in the eyes of others reports Dick Bush of the University of Maryland, Munich Campus.

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Funny story: Rescue of Princess Leads to Nastiest Sex in History of Enchanted Kingdom

Rescue of Princess Leads to Nastiest Sex in History of Enchanted Kingdom

Prince Charming found her in the tower-the lovely princess Willownella, very sleepy and very innocent. The dragon had kept men away for at least a 100 years.

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Funny story: Global Warming Said to Cause My Six Month Dry Spell

Global Warming Said to Cause My Six Month Dry Spell

"I haven't gotten laid in six months, and Global Warming apparently is to blame," say local scientists.

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Funny story: Harry Potter was originally porn fiction

Harry Potter was originally porn fiction

J.K. Rowling has admitted that the Harry Potter books were originally meant to be porno books for adults.

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Funny story: Keith Jackson's Phone Sex Tapes Hit Internet

Keith Jackson's Phone Sex Tapes Hit Internet

It may not have the visual sexuality of the Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee sex tape, but a collection of long-time college football broadcaster Keith Jackson's answering machine messages to his wife, Turi Ann, has been making the rounds on various we...

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Funny story: Drunken Tennessee pastor offers cops blow job to escape indecency rap

Drunken Tennessee pastor offers cops blow job to escape indecency rap

Washington County, Tennessee - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): A drunken fundamentalist pastor who spreads the word on evangelical Christian radio was arrested today after tempting highway partol officers with an offer of oral sex.

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Funny story: Transformer iPods turn into Robo-Pimps to pleasure Japanese women

Transformer iPods turn into Robo-Pimps to pleasure Japanese women

Tokyo, Japan - Not just for your listening pleasure anymore. Now your iPod can be retrofitted with a special kit to turn it into an adult sex toy for her to enjoy: 'It's Saturday night. All her girlfriends are out with their boyfriends while...

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Funny story: House passes farm sex bill, causes fire

House passes farm sex bill, causes fire

WASHINGTON - (Rooters) House Democrats voted Friday to approve farm sex bill that would continue to provide generous sex to farmers daughters at a time of record pregnancy, ignoring death threats and yowls of protest by Republicans over a sex provisi...

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Funny story: No more thongs, g-strings or split-crotch rubber panties at Tennessee jails

No more thongs, g-strings or split-crotch rubber panties at Tennessee jails

Memphis, Tennessee - (Ass Mess): The Tennessee Department of Correction has clamped down hard on visitors' provocative underwear.

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Funny story: Pervy Queens lawyer busted with 'anti-masturbation gum' and Alberto Gonzales blow-up doll

Pervy Queens lawyer busted with 'anti-masturbation gum' and Alberto Gonzales blow-up doll

New York - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): A sting operation on a pervy Queens Legal Aid lawyer, Peter Barta, has stunned New York cops by the amount of 'kinky' material found in his Kew Gardens apartment.

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Funny story: Oldest Swingers In Town Hump For Britain

Oldest Swingers In Town Hump For Britain

Penny & Bill Plenty from Northampton have shagged their way to the Guinness Book of Records. Trussed up like twatty turkeys they brag that they have 'Done it' all over the UK.

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Funny story: Study Shows Mollusks Enjoy Sex More Than Humans

Study Shows Mollusks Enjoy Sex More Than Humans

Scientists today revealed a study that shows mollusks physically enjoy sex more than humans. Felicia Freezig lead the 10 year 15.3 million dollar study comparing the sex lives of mollusks and humans.

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Funny story: Casting call for pornographic video game

Casting call for pornographic video game

Deep Into It Productions has announced its upcoming release of an interactive 3-dimensional sex-themed gaming environment incorporating live action footage of sex industry workers.

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