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Funny satire stories about Football (Soccer)

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Funny story: Neymar reveals Short Term Memory Loss Condition

Neymar reveals Short Term Memory Loss Condition

In a not so surprising development, Brazilian football starlet Neymar, who has been widely touted as the next big thing in football, has revealed that he has a short term memory loss condition. Neymar, 19, read out a pre-written statement at a press...

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Funny story: Neil Warnock's teeth

Neil Warnock's teeth

QPR fans are chewing over the formation of their manager's new teeth. "Sir Neil's Hampsteads don't seem to fit, he looks like Dick Emery's vicar" proclaimed lifelong QPR fan Ginger Vitis, a dental hygienist from East Acton. Warnock guided his...

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Funny story: The Beginner's Guide Part 5: Ten Things To Know About Sport

The Beginner's Guide Part 5: Ten Things To Know About Sport

Sport. To some a pastime, to others a way to unwind from the stresses of the day. And to other others it's a job. Others still find sport a thing that 'other people do'! But whatever it is, it's sport! A competitive, energy depleting activity, designed to get you fit, sweaty and worked up! Here we delve in to ten things you need to know about all types of sport, so jog on... 1. R...

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Funny story: Neil Warnock loving trouble and strife in the smoke

Neil Warnock loving trouble and strife in the smoke

Neil Warnock has admitted he never thought he would settle in London, but has been pleasantly surprised. "I love London. Everyone said it's full of twats, but that couldn't be further from the truth. I moved my family into a nice 3-bed maisonette...

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Funny story: Don't belittle England

Don't belittle England

England training will be a little unusual this week as head coach Capello wants them to play a five-a-side mini-tournament against dwarfs! He's called in four five-a-side dwarf teams to make it an eight team tournament. It's thought the defence w...

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Funny story: No Puppies says Blatter

No Puppies says Blatter

Fifa President and self appointed ruler of football Slap (me on the head) Blatter won't back down in the poppy scandal. The man who should be at home smoking a pipe and wearing slippers won't listen to anyone on the matter. "You want to wear lit...

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Funny story: It's 'plane' to see at QPR

It's 'plane' to see at QPR

Queens Park Rangers Football club may be moving to Heathrow airport if plans go ahead. The airport authority plan to sell off some land at the airport and the club is said to be very interested in buying the land. CEO Philip Beard said, "We will...

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Funny story: Football clubs banned from using the term; "On me head son!"

Football clubs banned from using the term; "On me head son!"

Sex Discrimination loonies have pressured the government into banning this age old saying, citing it as "Anti woman". Margo Mango, of the Town Women's Action Team Service, handed in a petition signed by 20,000 Zulu women to government officials at...

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Funny story: Landon Donovan 'Can I Be Bothered?' Over Re-joining Everton FC.

Landon Donovan 'Can I Be Bothered?' Over Re-joining Everton FC.

We spoke to American Major Soccer League star Landon Donovan about a possible loan move back to Everton in January yesterday. Here's what was said: (We arrived at his flat and i accidentally pressed the bell for flat number 178 instead of Landon's flat) Me: Hello, this is the English press. Angry old git: P*** off, you've just woke me up. Me: We need to interview Landon Donovan. AOW: That's...

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Funny story: 25 Years Of Sir Alex Ferguson - Thanks For The Memories Boss

25 Years Of Sir Alex Ferguson - Thanks For The Memories Boss

From a Red It wasn't always good. 26 years without winning the league. An FA Cup win over Palace, and the following season, a wet night in Rotterdam when we beat Barcelona in the Cup Winner's Cup final. At last - a European prize. Following five years of oblivion. A failed title challenge, culminating in embarrassment at Anfield - to the delight of the Scousers. Leeds win the league...

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Funny story: Harry Redknapp and Neil Warnock have plenty of rabbit

Harry Redknapp and Neil Warnock have plenty of rabbit

Harry Redknapp and Neil Warnock dished up a load of old rabbit after Tottenham Hotspur's lucky victory against QPR on Sunday. "I thought we were t'rific today" said 'Arry. "Luka Modric was t'rific. I love Luka. Scottie Parker was double t'rific. I...

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Funny story: Blood Pressure Cure? I Know A Much Easier One Claims Local Man

Blood Pressure Cure? I Know A Much Easier One Claims Local Man

Scientists claim to have found the cause of high blood pressure. The discovery means that it maybe possible to develop specialist drugs to tackle the problem and save thousands of lives every year. A PhD student, Francine Marques, supervised by...

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Funny story: Carlos Tevez to go out on loan

Carlos Tevez to go out on loan

Although Manchester City claim that they are in no way worried by Carlos Tevez's claim of unfair treatment over his alleged unwillingness to play against Bayern Munich, it would appear in the latest move that this is not the case. "We value Carlos...

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Funny story: "I'd probably bang Bale" - Warnock

"I'd probably bang Bale" - Warnock

Self-proclaimed football manager Neil Warnock said Sunday that he received an incredible amount of sexual satisfaction from watching opponents score goals against his Queens Park Rangers team and sincerely hoped his spirited side would concede a buck...

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Funny story: John Terry To Wear Studs In Future

John Terry To Wear Studs In Future

Chelsea and England captain John Terry has told fans on the club's website that he intends to wear studs in his boots in the future after slipping and presenting Arsenal with a match-winning goal in his side's 5-3 loss to Arsenal at Stamford Bridge a...

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Funny story: Undead United beat Zombie FC in local derby

Undead United beat Zombie FC in local derby

Undead United 94 Zombie FC 0 - Spoof sports reporter, SKOOB1999, managed to speak to United Manager, Davey Locker, before he went back into the freezer. SKOOB: "You have won by a comfortable margin, was it your tactics"? Locker: "No, every...

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Funny story: Arsenal Against Chelsea Best Part Of 'Day To Forget' For Local Man

Arsenal Against Chelsea Best Part Of 'Day To Forget' For Local Man

A local man claims that Saturday will be a day to forget. Mr Gideon Lambrusco claimed to be "minding his own business" when his day just started to unravel for no apparent reason. "I just don't get it," said Mr Lambrusco, 46, of Panfried Garden...

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