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Funny story: Blears Quits Cabinet

Blears Quits Cabinet

Pint-size Communities Lunatic Hazel Blears, whose shock resignation from the Cabinet today has thrown the Government into even further disarray, has revealed her reasons for quitting. Speaking at a Press Conference, Blears announced that she took...

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Funny story: Harman Tipped for Reshuffle Promotion

Harman Tipped for Reshuffle Promotion

Sources within Downing Street have indicated that Harridan Harpy is likely to receive a major promotion in the Cabinet reshuffle expected after Thursday's Local and European Elections. Harman, who is currently in The Priory being treated for exhau...

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Funny story: Brown: I Won't Step Down. Ever.

Brown: I Won't Step Down. Ever.

Prime Mincer Gordon Brown said today he would not step down, despite polls showing NuLieBore could slump to a humiliating (and well-deserved) last place in European Elections this week. Brown, struggling to assert any authority after the MPs expen...

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Funny story: Prime Minister announces extraordinary parliamentary reforms

Prime Minister announces extraordinary parliamentary reforms

In a bold move the Prime Minister announced today reforms which will change the Mother of all Parliaments forever. Mr Gordon Brown said that the new reforms will not only clean up the current parliament but also save taxpayers £25 bln over a thirty y...

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Funny story: Darling's Position Under Threat

Darling's Position Under Threat

Pressure is growing on the Chancellor, Captain Darling, to quit his post following a series of damaging revelations over the weekend. Coming hard on the heels of allegations that he 'flipped' his second home designation forty times in four years,...

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Funny story: Political Weight Lifting Room Installed in White House

Political Weight Lifting Room Installed in White House

Washington DC: US taxpayers were seen installing a weight lifting room in the White House, between the bowling alley and the basketball court. This weight lifting room contains the latest in barbell equipment (dumbbell is not politically correct)...

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Funny story: North Korea Draws International Condemnation

North Korea Draws International Condemnation

North Korea last night risked plunging the world into conflict as its provocative behaviour escalated. The rogue state has drawn worldwide criticism after some of its soldiers were spotted writing rude things on the North-South border. Slogans...

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Funny story: Churches warn of political swing to the non-corrupt, ultra right BNP

Churches warn of political swing to the non-corrupt, ultra right BNP

Worried straight/mostly gay religious leaders from all denominations have stressed their concerns about corrupt MP's from main line parties and the consequences of their actions. Church of England leader has outed his concerns and warned "very ben...

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Funny story: Political suicide is better than actual suicide.

Political suicide is better than actual suicide.

A perfect place has been found for all of those MPs who have decided to end it all. The moat at the centre of allegations is the perfect place to die. One MP who did not want to be named said, "Well the horse shit has hit the fan for sure. We MPs...

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Funny story: Brown to Unveil 'Five-Year Plan' for Recovery

Brown to Unveil 'Five-Year Plan' for Recovery

Prime Mincer Gordon Brown is to unveil a new 'National Plan' as he tries to fight back from recent setbacks, The Diary has learned. The new Five-Year Plan is Brown's blueprint to lead Britain out of recession and extend its public service reforms.

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Funny story: New Election Process for Speaker Announced

New Election Process for Speaker Announced

BBC Television have announced that the election for a new Speaker of the House of Commons is to be fully televised. Announcing the move, BBC Director-General Mark Thompson said that the plan would bring 'a new transparency' to the electoral proces...

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Funny story: Who still votes Labour - and why?

Who still votes Labour - and why?

The expenses scandal and other issues over recent weeks have been catastrophic for the Labour Party, with the opinion polls showing Labour at their lowest approval rating since records began. But what do the polls actually mean - with the next General Election a year away at most, who actually votes Labour and why? By a process of elimination, we were able to work out the number of voters. W...

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Funny story: Speaker Smacks Tory

Speaker Smacks Tory

House of Commons Speaker Michael Martin, under mounting pressure to quit his post, lived up to his "Gorbals Mick" nickname by headbutting a Tory backbencher during a furious debate on the expenses scandal. Rupert Farquahar, MP for Upper Rimming in...

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Funny story: Gordon Brown in Further Financial Scandal

Gordon Brown in Further Financial Scandal

Gordon Brown was fighting for his political life today, after becoming embroiled in another financial scandal. With support already plummeting nationwide following the recent expenses revelations, the Mr Brown was today at the centre of another sc...

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Funny story: Sharp Upturn in DIY Sector Lifts Retail Hopes

Sharp Upturn in DIY Sector Lifts Retail Hopes

The markets have been encouraged today following a sharp upturn in retail hardware sales reported by B&Q and Homebase. A spokesman for the retail consortium BodgitFixit Group reported that since last Monday, when the Daily Telegraph began rele...

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Funny story: Ralph Nader Comes Clean About Being a Closet Republican

Ralph Nader Comes Clean About Being a Closet Republican

Ralph Nader, perennial independent presidential candidate and once a spokesman for many liberal political issues, admitted Wednesday to working with the Republican party in 2000 to keep Al Gore out of office. "He was basically working for the Repu...

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Funny story: Arlen Specter Party Switch Serves as Wake-up Call to GOP; Republicans Hit "Snooze"

Arlen Specter Party Switch Serves as Wake-up Call to GOP; Republicans Hit "Snooze"

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Veteran Pennsylvania Senator Arlen Specter recently shed himself of the GOP, joining ranks with the Democratic party. He says the switch serves as "a wake-up call" to Republicans, who collectively rolled over, hit the snooze butto...

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