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Funny satire stories about suicide

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Funny story: Assisted Suicide Bill Passed

Assisted Suicide Bill Passed

With all the furore over MPs expenses, many will have not noticed that the Assisted Suicide Bill was passed in the House of Commons today. The Catholic church noticed, and they are up in arms about the new bill that will allow terminally ill patie...

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Funny story: Mass suicides when Hillary Clinton visited Iraq

Mass suicides when Hillary Clinton visited Iraq

When US Secretary of State Hillary 'Sherpa' Clinton arrived in Iraq last week, hundreds of people there committed suicide rather than having to hear, let alone see, the former President's baggage. As the baggage passed through customs in Baghdad, thr...

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Funny story: Emos Infest Mexico City to Meet Their Maker

Emos Infest Mexico City to Meet Their Maker

Mexico City,Today - In a story that's 100% CERTAIN to remind you of this one here, Police and tourist chiefs are reporting an influx of suicidal 'Emos' into Mexico City. Hairy faced Coño Del La Puta, of the Mexican Tourist board said she had wit...

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Funny story: Suicide gets the FunkyTV treatment

Suicide gets the FunkyTV treatment

FunkyTV and Kate Thornton join forces in a new Docusoap which charts the lives of family and friends as they say goodbye to their loved ones. The show entitled "Goodbye Goodbye" is set to the backdrop of James Blunts back catalogue and will featur...

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Funny story: Suicide becomes politically correct

Suicide becomes politically correct

Religious leaders, politicians, representatives of the mental health field, and candidates for suicide across the U.S. gathered this week to discuss the finer points, and techniques of suicide at a convention held in Detroit, Michigan. Those at t...

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Funny story: Global Recession Hits Japanese Car Firm, Executive Disembowels Self

Global Recession Hits Japanese Car Firm, Executive Disembowels Self

SAN FRANCISCO - Hideki Tojota, vice president and primary stockholder of Japan's top automobile manufacturer, committed Hari Kari Wednesday afternoon upon learning the predicted first operating loss in 70 years for the company was unavoidable. Dee...

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Funny story: Daft Bastard Admitted To Hospital Again Following Failed Suicide Attempt Number Two

Daft Bastard Admitted To Hospital Again Following Failed Suicide Attempt Number Two

Daft bastard Mr Paul Wankbreak of Burnley, Lancs was admitted to hospital again last night following a second failed suicide attempt. 'It seems that Mr Wankbreak had logged onto various internet websites seeking an alternative to hanging himself w...

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Funny story: Critics pan teen's online suicide

Critics pan teen's online suicide

Long Neck, NY--For a 19-year-old community college student in Long Neck, PerfomanceArtSpace.web was a place to express himself, push the boundaries of art and imagination, and receive (mostly) encouraging feedback. The renovated warehouse, refitted w...

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Funny story: Thinking About Killing Yourself for the Holidays? Call the Suicide Helpline!

Thinking About Killing Yourself for the Holidays? Call the Suicide Helpline!

To: All of My Loyal Readers/Minions Ah, the Holidays. It's the time of year when people gather with their families and gorge themselves on the flesh of animals and other fatty foods. It's the time of year when parents are hounded by their kids into buying them insanely expensive toys that will ultimately be forgotten 20 minutes after said gift is opened. It's also the time of year that t...

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Funny story: Daft Bastard Admitted To Hospital Following Failed Suicide Attempt

Daft Bastard Admitted To Hospital Following Failed Suicide Attempt

Doctors were left shaking their heads in disbelief after a man, described as a 'daft bastard' was admitted to Burnley General Hospital following a failed suicide attempt. The man, Mr Paul Wankbreak had attempted to hang himself with a bungee rope,...

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Funny story: Lehman's Lemmings - Big City Fat Cats Start Jumping Again!

Lehman's Lemmings - Big City Fat Cats Start Jumping Again!

In a scene reminiscent of the Wall Street Crash in 1929, stock brokers all over the world have been lining up at office windows and jumping. New York, London and Hong Kong have already seen thousands throwing themselves to their doom in response to t...

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Funny story: Man Commits Suicide After Hearing Too Much Terrible News

Man Commits Suicide After Hearing Too Much Terrible News

Police in in the Midlands have this morning released details of an absolute tragedy in the case of a man who may have taken his own life after apparently becoming 'fed up' of the constant stream of terribly Bad News issuing from his TV set. Forres...

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Funny story: Happy Britain Rejoices In Happiness!

Happy Britain Rejoices In Happiness!

British people are the happiest folks in the world, according to a report, with Powys in Wales, and Manchester at the top of the list of Britain's Happiest Places. Information from the British Household Panel Survey suggests that Britain fares bet...

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Funny story: Canadian Singer Admits Partial Responsibility For Man's Suicide

Canadian Singer Admits Partial Responsibility For Man's Suicide

Canadian singer, poet and novelist Lenny Coburg has admitted partial responsibility for a man's suicide in Delaware last week. The man, as yet, still unnamed, was found dead last Saturday hanging by his testicles from a coat hook, say police, afte...

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Funny story: Yet another group livid over recent rise in price of gas

Yet another group livid over recent rise in price of gas

Another major representative organisation in the UK has stepped forward to slam both British Gas and the Government for the recent hike in the price of gas. It has written a very strongly-worded letter to both Prime Minister Gordon Brown and the Chie...

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Funny story: Anti-Political Suicide Training School Opens

Anti-Political Suicide Training School Opens

Chappaqua, N.Y, July 2008: An Anti-Political Suicide Training school has been established here to help politicians cope with appearing on TV and radio interview shows and not get their butts kicked or a foot stuck in their mouth.

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Funny story: Police To Question Leonard Cohen Over Man's Death

Police To Question Leonard Cohen Over Man's Death

Police in Delaware are to interview singer-songwriter, poet and novelist Leonard Cohen after a man died in his own home, seemingly after listening to a lethal concoction of Cohen albums.

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