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Funny story: Kirstie Alley Goes On The Church of Osmosisology Diet

Kirstie Alley Goes On The Church of Osmosisology Diet

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Speaking from her kitchen in her spacious mansion in the Hollywood Hills, Kirstie Alley stated that she is going to do something about her tremendous weight. The 409 pound Alley stated that she realized she had to do something wh...

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Funny story: Kirstie Alley Hates Andy Dick - Says She'll Use Him As A Tampon!

Kirstie Alley Hates Andy Dick - Says She'll Use Him As A Tampon!

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Kirstie Alley who has ballooned up to 413 pounds says that she has tried to lose weight, but it seems that when she loses two pounds she gets so excited and celebrates by eating and ends up gaining three pounds. Alley who has bee...

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Funny story: Whole Country Getting Fatter, Says Kirstie Alley

Whole Country Getting Fatter, Says Kirstie Alley

Study after study agree with her findings, according to fat actress, Kirstie Alley, who says she has now passed the size of her friend "Norm" on Cheers. "It's not just me, it's the whole country..maybe the whole world", says Kirstie. "I'm pretty...

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Funny story: A 3.7 Magnitude Earthquake Hits The L.A. Area - Kirstie Alley Says She Didn't Feel A Thing

A 3.7 Magnitude Earthquake Hits The L.A. Area - Kirstie Alley Says She Didn't Feel A Thing

LOS ANGELES - A 3.7 magnitude earthquake struck Los Angeles at about 12:39 p.m. LCT (Left Coast Time). There were reports of minor damages such as the usual broke salt shakers and pepper shakers along with light bulbs popping out of front and back po...

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Funny story: Kirstie Alley Runs Naked Through Central Park

Kirstie Alley Runs Naked Through Central Park

Kirstie Alley says she is sick and tired of reporters following her around to take pics for tabloids and publish their latest fat story, so she had finally had enough and ran naked through Central Park yesterday, nearly catching pneumonia. "I-I-I'...

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Funny story: A 4.3 Earthquake Hits Chicago - Kirstie Alley Is In Los Angeles

A 4.3 Earthquake Hits Chicago - Kirstie Alley Is In Los Angeles

CHICAGO - Every weatherman in the 'Windy City' is reporting that a 4.3 earthquake hit Chicago at 3:59 a.m. Wednesday. Many Chicago residents said that they were sound asleep when it hit and they quickly woke up to find things like chairs, lamps, s...

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Funny story: Kirstie Alley Funeral Plans Costly As She Wants To Be Cremated

Kirstie Alley Funeral Plans Costly As She Wants To Be Cremated

Poor Kirstie Alley can't get anything to go right these days. "I can't even plan for my departure, whenever that might happen", she told Dan Hilliard ass reporter of UP2. It seems that there are many extra charges for anyone over 300 hundred po...

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Funny story: Kirstie Alley Says Aretha Franklin Is A Moose

Kirstie Alley Says Aretha Franklin Is A Moose

What's happened to the R-E-S-P-E-C-T woman? That's what 350-pound Kirstie Alley wants to know. "She can't have any respect left", Alley told UP2. "She better stay out of the water or Captain Ahab will be going after the great black whale next!"...

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Funny story: Kirstie Alley To Play Java The Hut In Musical: Jumpin' Java Jazz!

Kirstie Alley To Play Java The Hut In Musical: Jumpin' Java Jazz!

Kirstie Alley appeared all over the Good Morning America program this morning to talk about her role in the new musical, Jumpin' Java Jazz! "I apologize for the fat suit", stated Kirstie, while munching on a long john from a box. "But they want me...

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Funny story: Kirstie Alley's Belly Doubles After Ass-Reduction Surgery

Kirstie Alley's Belly Doubles After Ass-Reduction Surgery

"Everything happens to me", was heard from a room that we weren't allowed into but could take messages and recordings from the hall of a private clinic in California. The voice sounded familiar so we thought it was Kirstie but it had more bass tha...

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Funny story: 450-Pound Kirstie Falls Into Lady's Pool Monday Night

450-Pound Kirstie Falls Into Lady's Pool Monday Night

A Spotsville, North Carolina woman who heard a giant splash in her backyard discovered a 450-pound Kirstie Alley had fallen into her swimming pool in the dark. WACKO-TV reports that the big actress fell into Maudie Buchanan's covered pool on Monda...

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Funny story: Mariah Carey Has Kirstie's Disease!

Mariah Carey Has Kirstie's Disease!

Fans of Mariah Carey are wondering what's up with the lady besides her 45-pound gain? "She is very much in danger of passing the 200-pound milestone if she doesn't get her weight in check", stated a source this morning after Carey made a brief but...

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Funny story: 409 Pound Kirstie Alley Banned From The Fat Farm

409 Pound Kirstie Alley Banned From The Fat Farm

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Once upon a time Kirstie Alley was a little overweight. Then as time passed and she began eating Hostess Twinkies as if they were M&M's she began to go up the weight scale. At first it was half a pound here, half a pound there.

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Funny story: Kirstie Alley Hits 409 Pounds - Says She Is Completely Giving Up All Food

Kirstie Alley Hits 409 Pounds - Says She Is Completely Giving Up All Food

MALIBU BEACH, California - Actress Kirstie Alley who is best noted for her role of the cigarette-addicted manager of the bar in the TV sit-com Cheers has just hit the big 409. Alley who has been battling weight loss for the past several years say...

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Funny story: Kirstie Alley Hated Taking Gym Showers

Kirstie Alley Hated Taking Gym Showers

As a hefty young lady in school gym classes, Kirstie Alley told a friend recently that she hated taking showers afterward. According to the friend, that could easily be one of the causes of Kirstie's constant battle with weight problems much of h...

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Funny story: Kirstie Alley, Oprah Winfrey to lift Earth using giant lever

Kirstie Alley, Oprah Winfrey to lift Earth using giant lever

SYRACUSE, SICILY- Sometimes extreme situations call for drastic measures. With human activity gradually warming the planet, threatening the survival of our species, Kirstie Alley and Oprah Winfrey will reportedly move the Earth into an orbit slightl...

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Funny story: Kirstie Alley To Pose In Celebrity Booty Babes Magazine

Kirstie Alley To Pose In Celebrity Booty Babes Magazine

BURBANK - Kirstie Alley who is currently tiping the scales at 228, has just been signed to appear in a layout in the Left Coast-based magazine, Celebrity Booty Babes. Kirstie who has recently made appearances on "Oprah," "Ellen," "Deal or No Deal,...

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