The streets of major population centres were strangely empty of men today following the latest news from the Kerry Katona kamp.
Writing in a her column in national celebrity/gossip magazine, OK!, the perpetual self-publicist announced that she was...
Oh dear. You're that desperate? Really? Okay well, Inhopeless Human Solutions (TM) has all the tips on how to score a date.
We got to think of this like... buying things. If there's too much of a thing, then its easy to get one. And vice versa. It's the same with finding a date. The sooner the better.
So, firstly, get a date. If you are a woman seeking man, or man seeking man, change the pro...
Many long hours in the lab, observatory or one's own head can leave many dedicated physicist unable to make the basic distinction between the sexes.
Fortunately, there is a handy reference for identifying the sexes that can prevent many an unfortunate encounter. This is similar to the process for confirming a hypothesis, and contains many null hypothesis, thus it is totally scientific and can b...
There is nothing trickier in life than finding The One. Not Neo from the Matrix, but a partner with which to spend one's life; a soul-mate. The One is often typified by a strong attraction, and it is here where we can look for help in physics with the laws of electromagnetism.
Faraday's law of induction (or in this case, introduction) states that moving a magnet induces electricity. Or to put i...
In an attempt to bring love and understanding to the middle east, a leading American programme producer is launching a TV dating show where Arabs and Jews can date each other.
The show will be named; "You call this a date?" And will be hosted by R...
Where would the world be without those dating sites that promise perfect matches? Just ask Hari Twolingas who so far has led a lonely life because of his unique affliction - he was born with 2 penises.
"People in my village worshiped me as a god"...
Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi is set to star in a new MTV-style dating show called "Silvio's Sexy Sluts."
The programme invites 12 'babes' in love with Silvio's smooth charm, good looks and charisma into his Italian home for a series o...
Apparently Christina Aguilera cannot choose between Samantha Ronson and ex-husband Jordan Bratman so she has been dating identical twins, according to a recent edition of "Lacy Leather Magazine."
"As far as we know, she has officially divorced Bra...
I just found a sodding zit, and I'm about to have a date
Do I pick it? Do I squeeze it? The taxis here, too late!
I'll dab some extra aftershave and hope that it dries it out.
The taxi drivers bibbing his horn and I have Vesuvius on my snout.
I'm looking sharp and clean and I'm hoping she wont notice.
The taxi driver looks at me as if I could do with a mustard poultice.
All the while I...
Few people realise that Emma Watson, better known as Hermione Granger from Harry Potter, and Rob Pattinson, better known as the blood sucking hearthrob from Twilight, actually went to school together, the Tower House school in London.
Part #12: Factual Facts To Impress Your Date'
10. Over 98% of all car crash fatalities happen within ten feet of the car!
9. The role of "Benjamin" played by Dustin Hoffman in "The Graduate" was originally offered to Don Knotts.
8. When making an arrest in New York City, policemen not only have to read you your legal rights but also bring you up to date scores of the Jets, Mets, Giants,...
Part #11: Factual Facts To Impress Your Date'
10. John Deere never worked on a farm a single day of his life!
9. Benjamin Franklin had strange sex habits according to his wife, Deborah Reed Rogers. While at home, she usually called him old "Ben Dover".
8. Along with the famous sign over President Harry Trueman's desk saying "The Buck Stops Here", it was originally hung from a deer's hea...
Part #10: 'Factual Facts To Impress Your Date'
#10. Before George Washington became President, the last president in the land of America was 300 years earlier, called Hosteen Wahoo, leader of the Long Penis People!
#9. Because of mysterious dreams he had experienced all his life, Saddam Hussein used to tell his friends and family, "One day my neck will be a foot long!"
#8. Ironically eno...
North Korea's leader Kim Jong Il was spotted recently on a what looked like a secret date with another notorious dictator and alleged supermodel, Naomi Campbell.
The celebrity pair was apparently seen holding hands at Drayton Manor Park, in Tamwor...
Part #9: Factual Facts To Impress Your Date:
10. Alex Trebek, host of Jeopardy, has already bought his burial plot and monument. It reads, "Where Is Alex Trebek?"
9. In 2001, a clown by the name of "Fonzo" became the first person ever to die from exploding cigar lung cancer!
8. If you say that a glass is half full, you're an optimist. But if you say that "there is still half a spoonful...
Part #8: 'Factual Facts To Impress Your Date'
#10. Contrary to popular opinion, Eskimo Pies were not invented by Eskimos, but by polar bears.
#9. On September 11th, 2002, a wildly careening car was headed toward the Pentagon before being shot 425 times. Both the driver and the rattlesnake by his foot were dead.
#8. Sometimes, even it's own residents cannot figure out how in the world th...
10. On twelve difference occasions, Louie Anderson and Loni Anderson got each other's bras in the mail and had to exchange them.
9. In the Great Smoky Mountains, those "Great Smoky Mountains Authentic Handmade Rocking Chairs" are simply called rocking chairs.
8. The past four presidents of the United States, Bush, Clinton, Bush & Obama have acted more like previous Vice Presidents!
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!