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Funny story: BP Shifts Focus from Oil Leak to Plugging CEO Hayward's Pie Hole

BP Shifts Focus from Oil Leak to Plugging CEO Hayward's Pie Hole

Oily Mess, LA - BP's CEO, Tony Hayward is becoming a public relations nightmare outpacing the oil spill as an even worse mess than tar balls on terns. A spokesperson for Lyen Waite Marketing of London warned last month that if they didn't reign in "...

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Funny story: Rookie Plumber Caps BP Executive Lamar McKay's Toilet

Rookie Plumber Caps BP Executive Lamar McKay's Toilet

HOUSTON, Texas - After using several questionable techniques to deal with a leak in the bathroom at Lamar McKay's corporate office in Houston, a local plumber finally capped the troublesome toilet permanently, according to the exasperated executive.

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Funny story: BP Annouces Acquisition of Bubba Gump Shrimp Co.

BP Annouces Acquisition of Bubba Gump Shrimp Co.

BP oil announced today that it has acquired the Bubba Gump Shrimp Corporation hoping to capitalize on the abundance of dying seafood in the Gulf and reduce their total liability from frivolous law suits. In a few short weeks, they will announce the f...

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Funny story: Bush family fears hurricane season will redistribute BP Gulf of Mexico crude assets

Bush family fears hurricane season will redistribute BP Gulf of Mexico crude assets

Crawford, Texarse - (Eye of the Storm): The surge of hot air and moist tailwinds is heading towards George W Bush's Predator Chapel Ranch. Tropical Storm Halle Burton supertwisters are gathering momentum and threatening to suck up millions of 's...

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Funny story: BP changes its name to Beyond Plankton

BP changes its name to Beyond Plankton

BP announced today that it has changed its name from Beyond Petroleum to Beyond Pankton. This was greeted with bewilderment by the press who wondered how this could possibly help the company's image, especially at a time like this. Public relation...

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Funny story: BP Announces Another New Oil Clean-up Plan

BP Announces Another New Oil Clean-up Plan

CCN (Crazy Cal News) Gulf of Mexico - Since the last efforts to stop the leak have failed, BP has put their top scientists to work on the clean-up plan to protect the coast. After contacting consultants in Hollywood, the stylists have recommended p...

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Funny story: BP Oil Separation Experiment Proceeds As Planned

BP Oil Separation Experiment Proceeds As Planned

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Gulf of Mexico - BP's plans to use the Gulf of Mexico as a crude oil separation device are proceeding as planned. The 70,000 barrels of oil proceeding from the gash in the collapsed oil rig have been separating into different...

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Funny story: Where is the Oil?

Where is the Oil?

NEW ORLEANS, LA - For a spill now nearly half the size of Exxon Valdez, the oil from the Deepwater Horizon disaster is pretty hard find. Satellite images show an estimated 4.6 million gallons of oil has pooled in a floating, shape-shifting blob o...

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Funny story: BP Designates 'Live Fire Zone' Along Gulf Shoreline; Vows to Shoot Whiney Protesters on Sight

BP Designates 'Live Fire Zone' Along Gulf Shoreline; Vows to Shoot Whiney Protesters on Sight

BP has designated the surrounding Gulf shorelines near their spewing oil disaster as a ''live firing zone'' in a warning to protesters, members of the press and local residents. Mercenaries and low management unrolled razor wire across roads lead...

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Funny story: BP Announces New "Harvest Your Own Oil Program"

BP Announces New "Harvest Your Own Oil Program"

Marketing Director for beleaguered giant oil company BP announced a new "Harvest Your Own Oil" program for US consumers. Newly employed, Mr. Matthews stated that the problem with deep sea oil has previously been that it is "deep down in the sea," but...

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Funny story: BP Announces New Clean Up Plan - Free Oil!

BP Announces New Clean Up Plan - Free Oil!

CCN (Crazy Cal News) Gulf of Mexico - BP announced a new plan to clean up the Gulf of Mexico Oil Spill. Today, they will release television commercials and newspaper ads advertising free oil to anyone who can come get it. A BP spokesperson said th...

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Funny story: BP Armada of Paddle Boats Heads to Gulf From England

BP Armada of Paddle Boats Heads to Gulf From England

BP announced today that it is launching a green attack on the huge Gulf of Mexico Oil spill. Today ten thousand paddle boats will leave an undisclosed harbor, each being paddled by a Green Piece representative. Estimates put the arrival of the fl...

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Funny story: CEO's 'totally crap BP' wipes £3.5 billion off share price

CEO's 'totally crap BP' wipes £3.5 billion off share price

City of London - (Disaster Mess): In the City of London it's know as 'doing a Ratners' - disparaging your business in public in the style of Gerald Ratner, former managing director of the eponymous jewellery store, who told press and shar...

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Funny story: Corruption protesters superglue themselves to BP HQ gates

Corruption protesters superglue themselves to BP HQ gates

St James's Square, London - (Outrageous Mess): Hundreds of anti-corruption protesters have super-glued themselves to the gates outside BP's palatial London headquarters following reports that the oil company's disgraced former CEO Lord Br...

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Funny story: BP Cracks Down on Insurance Abuse

BP Cracks Down on Insurance Abuse

The BP life agency and other Corrupt Bastards Club members at BP have cancelled TheSpoof.com writer Cal Jenning's insurance for exposing them through comedy at TheSpoof.com.

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Funny story: BP-Affiliated Corrupt Bastards Suspected in New York Airport Terror Plot

BP-Affiliated Corrupt Bastards Suspected in New York Airport Terror Plot

New York, NY - (Ass Mess): BP-affiliated Corrupt Bastards Club ringleaders are being sought by the FBI after four suspects were arrested today following a failed attempt to sabotage a fuel pipeline at JFK International in New York.

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Funny story: BP shuts down another Proud Ho Bay pipeline

BP shuts down another Proud Ho Bay pipeline

Anchorage, Alaska - (Ass Mess): British oil giant BP has been forced to close down yet another processing facility named after Secretary of State Condi Rice.

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