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Funny satire stories about Vatican

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Funny story: Pope Says to World: I'm Outta Here!

Pope Says to World: I'm Outta Here!

Vatican City - During evening prayers, Pope Benedict XVI announced to a stunned crowd that the Vatican is moving. The Vatican, center of the planet's 500 million Catholics, is planning to transfer all of its offices and staff. An eruption of questio...

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Funny story: Patch of Gravel "To become the next Pope"

Patch of Gravel "To become the next Pope"

Secret papers uncovered from the womb of a Dutch immigrant who was stowed away in a refrigerated truck travelling to the Greek city of Argos, have described how a patch of Gravel outside 12 Warmsley Road in Hartlepool will become the next Pope. So...

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Funny story: Vatican officials declared ungrateful bastards by Italy's parliament

Vatican officials declared ungrateful bastards by Italy's parliament

Top Vatican officials are condemning Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi because of allegations that Berlusconi had sex with human females, even though Berlusconi has been the Vatican's strongest supporter and has never condemned the Catholic C...

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Funny story: Vatican's men in frocks ring in 2011 by poaching Church of England's men in frocks

Vatican's men in frocks ring in 2011 by poaching Church of England's men in frocks

Britain enters 2011 with the same-old left-overs of yore as long-simmering divisions threaten to split the Church of England. What are they fighting over? Weapons of mass destruction? Territorial disputes? Who can save mankind first? Hell no!...

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Funny story: Vatican Repeals Don't Ask, Don't Tell Policy

Vatican Repeals Don't Ask, Don't Tell Policy

Following the lead from U.S. political and armed forces leadership, the Vatican has announced the lifting of their own "Don't ask, don't tell" policy, allowing priests and nuns to openly disclose gay or lesbian tendencies without fear of reprisal.

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Funny story: The Pope is diagnosed with a sexual disorder

The Pope is diagnosed with a sexual disorder

VATICAN CITY - The Vatican insist that the Pope's commitment to truth are nothing more than "revolutionary," but others think Pope Benito Santos is nothing more than a lunatic. Just a year after he said he was a certified virgin, he confessed at...

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Funny story: Pope Benedict allows Vatican Condoms for Malin Akerman Abusive Priests

Pope Benedict allows Vatican Condoms for Malin Akerman Abusive Priests

Pope Benedict has made billions protecting the flock from 'The Inferno.' Now Pope Benedict has teamed up with the makers of 'Woolite', 'Lysol' and 'Durex Condoms' to protect the flock from 'The Inferno' of overpopulation by manufacturing Durex Brand...

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Funny story: Holy Foam Contraceptive Approved by Pope in Cases of Unhappy Marriage

Holy Foam Contraceptive Approved by Pope in Cases of Unhappy Marriage

Following on the heels of Pope Benedict's decision to allow condom use in certain circumstances to guard against the spread of AIDS and other communicable sexual diseases, the Pope has made another landmark decision. The Pope has declared that a s...

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Funny story: Vatican Possibly Changes Stance On Condom Use For People Doing Sex

Vatican Possibly Changes Stance On Condom Use For People Doing Sex

Pope Benedict XVI, Captain of all the Catholics, has sensationally revealed that the churches stance on condom use may finally be updated. Until now condoms have been viewed as the Devils sheath. A tool of the gay and promiscuous, morally unaccept...

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Funny story: "Condoms okay for drug mules and practical jokers" explains Pope

"Condoms okay for drug mules and practical jokers" explains Pope

The Pope, Ratty Von Smallhausen, has issued a clarification of his position on condoms. Pope Von Smallhausen said "Condom use is perfectly acceptable in the following situations: for drug mules, stag-dos and for practical jokers." "Obviously, if a...

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Funny story: Pope Benedict XVI Finally Okays Condom Use

Pope Benedict XVI Finally Okays Condom Use

VATICAN CITY - Pope Benedict XVI just increased his popularity by about 500 percent after announcing that he has decided to allow males permission to use condoms. The Pope, aka Joseph "Joey" Aloisius Ratzinger, told a reporter for the Venice Gondo...

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Funny story: Vatican Orders Several Hundred Full-Body Scanners for Use in Worldwide Rectories

Vatican Orders Several Hundred Full-Body Scanners for Use in Worldwide Rectories

With the advent (no pun intended) of the new full-body scanning technology being used by worldwide airports, the Pope has asked makers of the devices to set aside several hundred for purchase by the Vatican. Using the excuse that one can never be...

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Funny story: Vatican Bank denies links to Lebdev raid

Vatican Bank denies links to Lebdev raid

Rome - (God's Banker Update): The Pope's bagman has strenuously denied reports that September's police raids on the First Vatican Moneylaundering Bank of Pyongyang are in any way connected to this morning's drama in Moscow. First Vatican CEO Cardi...

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Funny story: Gromit to be made a Saint

Gromit to be made a Saint

Following the recent events in Chile that has shown the world the miracle of the rescue of 33 miners who were buried 2,000 feet below the Atacama desert in a Copper mine, the Chilean president, Sebastian Pinera has given thanks to everyone who enable...

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Funny story: Vatican to finance luposuction of a molested altar boy

Vatican to finance luposuction of a molested altar boy

Only two days after Pope Benedict XVI in his annual message for World Food Day called upon the international community to stay united against hunger, the Holy See announced on Vatican Radio that they would finance liposuction of Timothy Burrows, a fo...

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Funny story: Russian spy Anna Chapman hired by Vatican Bank

Russian spy Anna Chapman hired by Vatican Bank

Rome - (Sod's Banker Mess): Accomplished KGB money launderer Anya Kushchenko had been headhunted by the Holy See slush fund ever since her topless pics surfaced on the internet. Opus Dei honchos told the Pope she'd be good for morale among the cle...

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Funny story: Vatican Claims UFOs to Blame for Much of Church Scandal

Vatican Claims UFOs to Blame for Much of Church Scandal

An official report from the Vatican released on 10-10-10 puportedly shows evidence that there were several sightings and/or abductions during the last half of this decade centered solely around the Vatican and a direct link to other-worldly beings.

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