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Funny satire stories about Tom Cruise

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Funny story: Penelope Cruz spills the beans on Tom's break-up with Nicole

Penelope Cruz spills the beans on Tom's break-up with Nicole

Malaga, Spain - Penelope Cruz has confessed in a candid interview why Tom Cruise broke up with Nicole Kidman (yes, the cheque has cleared). "As you know" said Cruz "Tom is the world's leading scientist. Nicole wasn't very scientific at all. She...

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Funny story: Penelope Cruz breaks her silence over break-up with Tom Cruise

Penelope Cruz breaks her silence over break-up with Tom Cruise

Malaga, Spain - It's been three years since actress/model Penelope Cruz and the world's leading scientist, Tom Cruise, went their separate ways. Now, Penelope has finally decided to break her silence about the painful break-up, in exchange for $1m...

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Funny story: Cruise and Travolta Signed for Butch and Sundance Remake

Cruise and Travolta Signed for Butch and Sundance Remake

Tom Cruise and John Travolta are trying to be the next Robert Redford and Paul Newman. The pair have signed on for the remake of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Cruise will play the role of Sundance, played by Redford in the original picture, w...

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Funny story: Tom Cruise Told He Is Too Short To Ride Roller Coaster

Tom Cruise Told He Is Too Short To Ride Roller Coaster

A tearful Tom Cruise was today refused admission to ride on Blackpool Pleasure Beaches 'The Big One' after he failed to meet the height restrictions. Cruise, in Blackpool for a vacation was visibly shocked when attendant Stuart Pearson told him he...

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Funny story: Tom Cruise and Anthony Hopkins to star in biopic of Joseph Fritzl

Tom Cruise and Anthony Hopkins to star in biopic of Joseph Fritzl

MAIM executives in Hollywood today announced they were putting a biopic of the life and crimes of Austrian Joseph Fritzl into production, and that it would star Tom Cruise and Anthony Hopkins. In true Hollywood tradition it will be entirely accura...

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Funny story: Cruise's step ladder uproar

Cruise's step ladder uproar

Tom Cruise caused quite and uproar when he unexpectedly chucked a bottle of conditioner at a shop assistant when she failed to give him a step ladder. The shop assistant was questioned and revealed: "I was asked by Cruise if he could use a step l...

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Funny story: Tom Hanks to play Tom Cruise in new movie

Tom Hanks to play Tom Cruise in new movie

In a surprising announcement, Tom Hanks confirmed the recent rumours that he is to play Tom Cruise in a new film biopic about the famous actor. "Tom has always been my acting hero", said Hanks, "this is a giant role for me and it is going be a rea...

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Funny story: Criuse Terrified of Cyber-Bullies

Criuse Terrified of Cyber-Bullies

According to recent reports, TC will only travel in "bomb proof" vehicles because he is afraid of cyber-bullies. Just what part of "cyber" doesn't shorty understand? Sure they may send him thousands of hate mail messages a day and threaten his fam...

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Funny story: Tom Cruise films survive another assassination plot

Tom Cruise films survive another assassination plot

Today in Germany, an eleventh assassination plot against Tom Cruise films failed. Some have found it almost miraculous that Cruise's films - that have become more and more extreme and intolerant to audiences over the years - have not yet been killed...

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Funny story: Tom Cruise Assassination Attempt Foiled

Tom Cruise Assassination Attempt Foiled

Hollywood - The Hollywood hills were rocked by an explosion last night reported to be an assassination attempt on the actor Tom Cruise. Cruise is unhurt and saved himself from certain death by jumping over a couch at the last second based on a premon...

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Funny story: Cruise Hopped up like some Crazy Jigger Jagger

Cruise Hopped up like some Crazy Jigger Jagger

Hollywood icon Tom Cruise was, according to witnesses, "hopped up like some bennied up whirlygig, like a crazy jigger jagger" on a recent trip to a local Hollywood eatery. According to Dirk Bingers, a local actor and parking valet, Cruise...

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Funny story: Tom Cruise Is Not Dead, Despite Internet Rumors

Tom Cruise Is Not Dead, Despite Internet Rumors

Despite internet rumors to the contrary, the agent for Tom Cruise confirmed that the actor is not dead and did not suffer a fatal fall while mountain climbing in New Zealand. He said that Cruise is in New York City right now with his wife and daught...

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Funny story: November 25th will happen

November 25th will happen

Leading Scientology proponent Tom Cruise (46) came out with a remarkable prediction today. "They day after November 24 will be November 25," Cruise said to the press outside his Beverly Hills mansion. "The Prophecy decrees it such." When asked...

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Funny story: Hollywood Celebrates 25 Years of Cruise

Hollywood Celebrates 25 Years of Cruise

Hollywood celebrates twenty-seven years of Tom Cruise's career by re-releasing his entire twenty-five years of block-buster movies as enhanced directors' cuts with Cruise digitally removed from all scenes. 'This represents a new standard in the C...

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Funny story: Cruise Reveals Deepest Darkest Fear

Cruise Reveals Deepest Darkest Fear

Earlier today, Tom Cruise revealed to HNN what scares him the most. Cruise explained how he deeply fears the possibility of there being a Flux in the Time-Space Continuum. For example, if Tom was about to cross his residential street. Now, althou...

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Funny story: Universal Studios arson blamed on Tom Cruise hex

Universal Studios arson blamed on Tom Cruise hex

California - (Smouldering Mess): A Tom Cruise hex has been blamed for the suspected arson attack on Universal Studios.

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Funny story: Cruise Nazi film bombs after links to Fritzl discovered

Cruise Nazi film bombs after links to Fritzl discovered

Los Angeles - (Disaster Mess): Studio bosses have pulled Tom Cruise's family biopic Valkyrie after the FBI advised that Austrian incest nutter Joseph Fritzl has tested DNA-positive for paternity.

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