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Funny story: Porn industry to raid Wimbledon

Porn industry to raid Wimbledon

The noise of women's tennis has long been the centre of attention for many people. Screaming, grunting and howling have become part of this established game. Indeed, closing ones eyes can transport you, not to the lush courts of Wimbledon, but to the...

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Funny story: Andy Murray is determined to win Wimbledon, but only if Rafael Nadal dies!

Andy Murray is determined to win Wimbledon, but only if Rafael Nadal dies!

Andy Murray, Britains or Scotland's ony real hope of breaking the century old Wimbledon curse is determined to win this year, but does admit; "Rafael Nadal has to die first and Roger Federer has to be so fed up winning that he doesn't even bother!"...

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Funny story: Wimbledon favourite Andy Murray calls bananas "pathetic"

Wimbledon favourite Andy Murray calls bananas "pathetic"

Childish Tennis player Andy Murray is on the naughty step again. In another attention seeking outburst at Wimbledon he has called bananas "a pathetic fruit". Many top players admit to enjoying bananas and openly use them during matches. On...

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Funny story: Wimbledon 2011 - Andy Murray Vows Not To Disappoint Fans

Wimbledon 2011 - Andy Murray Vows Not To Disappoint Fans

Scottish tennis sensation Andy Murray today vowed not to disappoint the fans at this year's Wimbledon Championships, saying that he'll probably go all the way before he totally capitulates to Nadal or Federer in the latter stages of the tournament.

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Funny story: Menstrual Cycle Chart used to predict Women's Tennis results

Menstrual Cycle Chart used to predict Women's Tennis results

Eric Nonce, a retired Maths teacher from Dorking, has put his high IQ to good use. He has predicted every Ladies Champion at the Wimbledon Tennis Tournament since 1969. Mr Nonce, who operates from a shed in Dorking, consults Tide Tables to analyse...

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Funny story: Murray's Wimbledon preparations in disarray following Queens victory

Murray's Wimbledon preparations in disarray following Queens victory

Andy Murray's preparations for Wimbledon have been thrown in to disarray after the Scotsman followed up a tournaments worth of lawn grass tennis at Queens club with an unusually strange arrangement which saw him lifting a trophy in what appeared desp...

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Funny story: The dawn of a new era of tennis

The dawn of a new era of tennis

The world of tennis has seen a breakthrough on the scale of NASA's landing on the moon and as noteworthy as the discovery of the double helix structure of DNA. Mats Wilander, most recently seen working for Eurosport at the French Open, announced the...

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Funny story: Maths teacher from Dorking banned from watching Ladies Tennis

Maths teacher from Dorking banned from watching Ladies Tennis

Retired Maths teacher Eric Nonce has been refused entry to this year's Eastbourne Open Ladies Tennis Tournament. Happily married Nonce, 69, from Dorking, was ejected from the court last time round after "looking up ladies' skirts". Eastbourne...

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Funny story: Andy Murray and Wayne Rooney swap hair

Andy Murray and Wayne Rooney swap hair

Wayne Rooney has entered the hair transfer market after his implants failed to sprout. The Manchester United footballer has made an audacious bid to buy Andy Murray's hair. Murray had originally offered his hair on a 3 month roll over loan de...

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Funny story: Wimbledon Finals To Be Shown On 3D

Wimbledon Finals To Be Shown On 3D

Andy Murray's failure to win this year's Wimbledon final will be shown live in 3D. The men's and women's finals will for the first time ever be available to consumers with BBC 3D and HD channels . Murray said : "Its very exciting to think th...

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Funny story: Andy Murray to be sponsored by Pritt Stick

Andy Murray to be sponsored by Pritt Stick

Scottish tennis star Andy Murray has forgone his sponsorship deal with the Royal Bank of Scotland to carry the flag for glue manufacturer Pritt Stick. "I've been thinking about this for a while," Murray told The Spoof, "and I think that Pritt Sti...

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Funny story: Andy Murray 'Fuck Off' shock

Andy Murray 'Fuck Off' shock

Grumpy Scottish tennis player Andy Murrray is really pissed off now. Ex 'Brat' and Grand Slam champion, John McEnroe has told reporters that Murray's swearing needs a complete overhaul: "Andy showed a lot of early promise but he needs to improv...

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Funny story: Nonce had photos of female tennis players in his shed

Nonce had photos of female tennis players in his shed

Retired Maths teacher Eric Nonce faces further questioning by Dorking Vice Squad. The member of the public has already been named as the one who used crossword expertise to 'out' Celebrity Imogen Thomas as' A Smooth Minge' during a local Surrey Qu...

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Funny story: Andy Murray To Play With 2 Injured Ankles

Andy Murray To Play With 2 Injured Ankles

World Number 4 Andy Murray has been playing so much better at the French Open with his injured ankle that he is set to deliberately hurt the other one before he takes the court for his quarter final clash against Juan Ignacio Chelo this afternoon.

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Funny story: Austrian Tennis Player May Have To Bribe Appeal Panel

Austrian Tennis Player May Have To Bribe Appeal Panel

The Austrian tennis player, Daniel Koellerer, who has been banned for life from the sport, intends to appeal against the decision, but may have to bribe the appeal panel to find a result in his favour. Koellerer was given the life ban for match-fi...

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Funny story: Pippa Middleton eyes Nadal's awesome ballgame

Pippa Middleton eyes Nadal's awesome ballgame

Paris - "You're not supposed to say 'Her Nipples Stood Out Like Perky Ripe Acorns' as Pippa eyed Nadal's thrusting ballgame," a microblogger has warned adoring tennis fans. "It's more like 'Succulent Raspberries In The Summer Sunshine', guys!" ano...

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Funny story: Andy Murray Extremely Confident About French Open

Andy Murray Extremely Confident About French Open

British tennis' number One Andy Murray says he's in "better shape than ever" to under achieve in the French Open and fail to end his quest to win his first ever Grand Slam event. The 23 year old Scot is confident that, after reaching the final of...

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