HOLLYWOOD - Producers here are apologizing to audiences today after they allowed an ugly person to appear in their teen movie entitled "Good-Looking People Get Killed Because of Technology." "We are very embarrassed," said Milton Lee, Director and...
Gaz Swanton from Salford, Manchester is OFFICIALLY Britain's laziest individual.
Teenagers across the United States were ask to vote on their favorite places to take a date. The survey required them to be specific; in other words, they could not say "the mall," but had to pick a specific mall. After auditing over 128,...
People surfing the web are more likely to commit suicide than people who watch Fox television, a study says.
A study carried out by Liverpool John Moore's university has found almost all of 15-to-16-year-olds in North West England are involved in underage binge drinking and violence.
Following the success of the Mosquito anti-teenager alarm, which works by emitting a high-pitched sound that only teenagers can hear, the company responsible has produced its new Mark III version. This works by releasing thousands of real mosquitoes...
A children's group has called for the eradication of the Mosquito, saying it is grossly unfair to the young, and is indiscriminate in targeting them.
Shock waves reverberated through Britain's corridors of power when it was disclosed that a gang of sober teenagers had been found on a notorious London council estate, committing absolutely no crime whatsoever.
Researchers at Johns Hopkins University Medical School have discovered a link between frequency of masturbation and amount of acne. The study, to be published in the New England Journal of Medicine in January, brings these connections to light and p...
WASHINGTON - In a startling report issued today by researchers at the Center for Science in the Pubic Interest, statistics show that teenagers are 78% more likely to have sex if they wear white shirts with collars.
Tammy Jean and Booger McNulty, mother and newly-acquired stepfather of fifteen-year-old Albert Ray Bunt, Jr., sat helplessly by as young Albert Ray literally petted the family cat to death in a bizarre music-related incident this past weekend, accord...
A Texas woman who sold her 15 year old daughter for $3000 has decided to open a franchise. Instead of using just one fast food outlet for the business, however, she is adopting five. "In these days of multi-branding, you see lot's of KFCs with...
In a wave of vandalism stretching across dozens of states, "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" stickers have begun to appear on cars and other private property.
Yesterday, President George W. Bush signed the little publicized bill 072702.afrt into law which makes owning and/or using a skate board a federal offense. "Our youth have been perverted long enough" Declares Bush as he affixed his signatur...
The world of popular music was today thrown into an unprecedented state of turmoil, as the vagina of the "Teen" singing sensation Britney Spears announced plans for a solo career.
After the release of their debut album Middle of Nowhere in 1997 Hanson had the world in their hands. They had the almost unique ability of being liked by young teens, whilst at the same time being approved of by parents worldwide. Their unique blend...
A man in Columbus Ohio was stopped by two teens this morning and was beaten to death. It seems the victim was leaving a twenty four hour bubble blowing contest on the city's east side when the two youths jumped out of a stolen 1963 Ethelbaker and...
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