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Funny satire stories about Shopping

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Funny story: Code of Conduct for Shoppers

Code of Conduct for Shoppers

The Consortium of Shopping Centre Retailers have issued a Code of Conduct for anyone using their more specially challenged facilities. 1. Single persons are not allowed access. Shoppers must enter the centre in at least pairs. 2. Shoppers will only be allowed access if they are carrying at least 3 fully laden carrier bags. 3. Customers are only allowed to stop and talk to people they re...

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Funny story: Man Went Shopping Without Trousers!

Man Went Shopping Without Trousers!

Reports are coming in that an ordinary man, who isn't a celebrity or a sports star endured a horrifying ordeal yesterday evening, when he went shopping at a local supermarket, only to realise, half way round the store that he had somehow inadvertentl...

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Funny story: Queen Elizabeth, Susan Boyle and Spoof Writer, Lady Godiva to go on shopping spree for wedding frocks

Queen Elizabeth, Susan Boyle and Spoof Writer, Lady Godiva to go on shopping spree for wedding frocks

Lady Godiva, Spoof Writer, has been invited to go on a shopping spree with Queen Elizabeth and Susan Boyle this month. Queen Elizabeth, an avid reader of the Spoof, and a special fan of the 'female' Spoof writers, heard that Lady G's eldest daught...

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Funny story: J K Rowling reveals her latest blockbuster

J K Rowling reveals her latest blockbuster

J K Rowling, the woman behind the infeasibly popular Harry Potter series, has sold her latest creation to her publishers for half a million pounds. "It's been a while since Jo wrote anything," said publisher and publicist Pugh Ballasista. "So we w...

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Funny story: QVSee+1 is launched on Freeview

QVSee+1 is launched on Freeview

Popular Shopping channel, QVSee is to launch a +1 (pronounced Plus One) channel that repeats the main QVSee channel, but an hour delayed. "We think that this will be something our viewers would make full use of," said QVSee owner Quentin Victor Se...

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Funny story: Supermarket introduces Clip-on Trolley Klaxon Horns

Supermarket introduces Clip-on Trolley Klaxon Horns

One of Britain's major high street supermarket chains is to make their 'hire a horn' option available to customers regularly following 'positive' results of trials carried out in selected branches during the run-up to Christmas. The klaxon horns...

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Funny story: Dear Bradlees: Your Store In Hazlet, NJ Has Terrible Hours Of Operation.

Dear Bradlees: Your Store In Hazlet, NJ Has Terrible Hours Of Operation.

Dear Bradlees: I am writing to complain about the Bradlees department store in Hazlet, NJ, on Route 38 and Poole Road. Will someone explain to me... Why the marquee sign for a Bradlees which closed in 2001 is still illuminated? Who's paying for this? If I'm 10 days late paying my electric bill, JCP&L are here ripping copper wiring out of my junction box, but the f--king Bradlees sign rem...

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Funny story: Parliament eyes Voucher Vultures

Parliament eyes Voucher Vultures

Those undisputed kings of comedy, namely the Con/Libs have entered 2011 with a vengeance, just when you thought they had run out of fresh material they produce an absolute gutbuster! Vouchers worth £250 million are being dished out ("oh the puns,...

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Funny story: Man Buys Last Minute Thing at 11.59pm New Year's Eve

Man Buys Last Minute Thing at 11.59pm New Year's Eve

BIRMINGHAM, ENG. - At a local PC World superstore Jack Smith was buying a 50-inch (127cm) Sony Bravia 3D just in time to beat the 1st Jan VAT rise in Britain. The VAT rise means that the price of the TV could rise from £600 (US$935) to £700 (US$1...

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Funny story: Taste the Difference shock horror as woman caught in Christmas Day battle of the giblets!

Taste the Difference shock horror as woman caught in Christmas Day battle of the giblets!

London - (Pope's Nose Mess): A London housewife's Christmas descended into chaos today as the promise of precious goose liver inside her festive beast bit the dust. Isle of Dogs resident Mrs Delia Cockfeather was at her kitchen worktop, looking f...

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Funny story: On-Line Retailer News: A Message From The Dark Side Of Christmas

On-Line Retailer News: A Message From The Dark Side Of Christmas

Every year, around this time, the idiot public rush around like headless turkey's, buying trinkets and knick-knacks for their loved ones, in a vain attempt to prove how much love they have for one another. This love, which is measured in monetary terms, and nothing else, is often left 'til the last moment. I run a very successful online shop, even if I do say so myself. And I just did, so th...

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Funny story: Snow Hits Retailers At Peak Season

Snow Hits Retailers At Peak Season

Retailers were bemoaning the weather yesterday, as once again Britain ground to a halt in freezing conditions. As airports closed and trains stopped running, shops were looking emptier than is usual at this time of year. The lack of customers l...

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Funny story: Local Man In High Street Tat Store Christmas Shopping Terror!

Local Man In High Street Tat Store Christmas Shopping Terror!

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock was last night relaxing at home enjoying a quiet drink, following a traumatic High Street trip in search of tatty Christmas bargains, with long suffering wife, Anne, loyal stepdaughter Gertrude, and two of his grandchild...

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Funny story: Barely-Used Fitness Equipment, ...Barely-Used Fitness Equipment, ...Get Your Barely-Used Fitness Equipment Here!

Barely-Used Fitness Equipment, ...Barely-Used Fitness Equipment, ...Get Your Barely-Used Fitness Equipment Here!

(Associated Benchpress) - It's that time of year again when people buy for themselves and each other all sorts of home fitness gadgets to be used for getting in shape throughout the New Year. The big problem is that there is currently too much raw material tied up in existing home gym equipment that ultimately remains dormant. As a result, manufacturers are asking the public to turn in their o...

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Funny story: Major supermarket chain bans Christmas!

Major supermarket chain bans Christmas!

It was announced today that whilst Flogging Christmas to death in stores since August, the leading British Supermarket Chain has cancelled all leave for their staff over the Christmas period. Explaining the move, chief executive Mrs Cherry Hehe sa...

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Funny story: Boy Sent To Buy One - Yes, ONE - Onion!

Boy Sent To Buy One - Yes, ONE - Onion!

There were grumblings under his breath this afternoon, when a boy in Bangkok was sent to the supermarket with an extremely short shopping list - he had to buy a single onion! The boy - me - 14, was told to fetch the onion by his mother who was in...

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Funny story: Online spending after thanksgiving the highest in history

Online spending after thanksgiving the highest in history

The Monday after Thanksgiving 2010 could be considered "Cyber Monday" because it registered the highest online spending ever in history. Consumers charged over 1 billion dollars in online purchases, surpassing by 16 percent the sales revenues figures...

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