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Funny satire stories about Poetry

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Funny story: Ode to Eastern Equine Encephalitis

Ode to Eastern Equine Encephalitis

An Ode to Eastern Equine Encephalitis on the Occasion of a Major Epidemic that has Acquired a Pathogenicity that Imperils Mankind Across the Globe and May Destroy Civilization as It Is Known to Us Presented in Its Entirety by the Poet Laureate on the Mundane, the Preposterous, and the Absurd: Sir Percival Blink, Esq. to His Most Excellent and Gracious Majesty as He Lies Dying from an Incurabl...

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Funny story: Bad Poetry: Is it All That Bad?! Does it Deserve a Corner?

Bad Poetry: Is it All That Bad?! Does it Deserve a Corner?

Bad Poetry Corner Twas 2090 and on Mark's deaf bed Not a brain cell was stirring His Blackberry was dead; All the stock in the Spoof was at a $.99 Per share, with no Bad Poetry Corner The readers didn't care When up on the roof there arose such a Clatter Mark sprung from his bed of nails to see what was the matter THen what to his dottering eyes should appear but Fergus McCarth...

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Funny story: I Love you, Mammy

I Love you, Mammy

I love you, mammy, sweet and true, When I wet my shorts you clean my poo. So I sing this little happy song My Mammy and me we just clap along. I love you, mammy, so very much, For you kiss my forehead with a piggy's touch. When I go to school you make sandwiches, And sew my torn trousers with fine stitches.. I love you, mammy, short and sweet, You tuck me in at night and rub my...

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Funny story: Life smells much better when you are a Pig

Life smells much better when you are a Pig

Emails, text messages, folders and files, They just organise your life in measure of toils, But a pig in the muck lives happy and free Grunting in poo-poo is more fun, you'll agree. Oinky snort Timetables, wall charts, meetings and strategies I'd much rather slop about up to my knees, So why bother with late nights and all of that stress, When you could be a piglet and wallow in mess.

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Funny story: Perdition; or, The Lure of the Poppy - by Thomas Frailing

Perdition; or, The Lure of the Poppy - by Thomas Frailing

'O infinite in the depth of darkness, an infinite craving, an infinite capacity of pain and weakness...O God save me - save me from myself...driven up and down for seven dreadful Days by restless Pain, like a Leopard in a Den, yet the anguish and remorse of Mind was worse than the pain of the whole body - O I have a new world opened to me, in the infinity of my own Spirit!' -Samuel Taylor Coler...

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Funny story: Why do I Bother?

Why do I Bother?

Why do I bother to straighten my tail When mother and father linger in jail? Pulling faces when there's no one around, Wasting my time playing the class clown. Oink oink Oink oink Oink oink Why do I bother oinking when I should be asleep, Waking up the neighbour's sheep Writing letters to people who never reply Why? Oink oink Oink oink Oink oink Why do I bother licking my tr...

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Funny story: Portrait Of The Streets (Poem)

Portrait Of The Streets (Poem)

There's that old homeless man What's he doing around here He drinks far too much at night Then sleeps it off under the pier He's life's been shattered He has nothing of his own He's a lonely, homeless old man Doesn't even own a comb His wife died of cancer And his son was killed in the war He's full of heartache and sorrow now And doesn't want to live anymore He's been begging f...

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Funny story: Ode to the Vuvuzela

Ode to the Vuvuzela

O WILD WIND, thou breath of Vuvuzelas' being, Thou in whose presence the players Are driven, like sailors to a siren's call, Their flags with stripes and fields of green and white, Black and blue, bloody and hectic red, and tarnished yellow, And insignia of pestilence-stricken multitudes! Oh, thou Who chariotest to their fruitful harvest The teams that laid low throu...

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Funny story: An ode to Timothy Spall

An ode to Timothy Spall

Timothy Spall went out in a squall On his beautiful pea green barge. With plenty of money And taking his 'honey, He's decided he's now in charge. He's had a great life and has a great wife And starred in Aufwiedersehen Pet He's a cancer survivor And he's not a miser He's lots of living to do yet. Tim's a great fella' but goes kinda yella When the waves are above his head He does ge...

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Funny story: Supreme Court Rules In Limerick Form: Monica Lewinsky She Be No Ho

Supreme Court Rules In Limerick Form: Monica Lewinsky She Be No Ho

Breaking a long standing precedent, The United States Supreme Court has decided to issue the following ruling in the form of a limerick. Historically, this has been done only in Scotland back in the 12th Century, but now that the Court is relying...

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Funny story: Rude Health

Rude Health

Dear all, You know you are getting older when you start fancying the women in the "Healthspan" brochures. They are always attractive older women. But be careful how many supplements you take ................ Rude Health by Rob Barratt Robert needs supplements to keep him alive Ginseng, 1000 milligrams, 180 for £7.95 They come in a new slimline plastic container Which slides into the sm...

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Funny story: Achilles by the Poet Laureate causes uproar in Scotland

Achilles by the Poet Laureate causes uproar in Scotland

A new poem from the pen of the Poet Laureate would be expected to draw comment from posh newspapers and magazines. It is reported that the poem "Achilles" dedicated to Becks, not the beer, the guy with a sore heel is causing shockwaves across Scottis...

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Funny story: Missing Letterland

Missing Letterland

Missing Letterland by Rob Barratt I just heard it on the local grapevine That each and every supermarket sign Last night, for no apparent reason Other than it being the silly season Lost its first letter. I don't know why I've got an honest face. Now would I lie? And now each item and member of staff Which begins with that letter (now this really sounds daft) Must drop the beginning o...

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Funny story: Noodle Shop Experience

Noodle Shop Experience

The aroma assaults me The heat is intense Choking on chillis To me, makes no sense But here is all life And all life is here The noodles, the men, the women, the beer The vendor surveys me Her stare is intense She throws in more chillis She can't comprehend A farang in her shop? It doesn't make sense But why complain If he's willing to spend? I survey the menu But 'Mai kow ja...

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Funny story: How To Write Limericks What Don't Scan

How To Write Limericks What Don't Scan

Fixated with parts of the body and can't write for tuppence? Wish you you could even write a limerick correctably? Then here is the template for the perfect poemtry: There once was a tit who was an adolescent fixated git He couldn't even write just an incy wincy ickle bit The Moon rhymed with June The git churned out garbage that his 5-year old sister could better at a shot And they all cri...

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Funny story: What Pushkin Should Have Done

What Pushkin Should Have Done

The great poet Pushkin sat at his desk. It was late at night and he was busy finishing another epic poem about love and honour. "This will surely win me another award" he thought to himself. Suddenly his wife burst into the room, sobbing. "My darling, what has caused you so much distress?" asked the poet. "It's the guardsman, Dantes. He is telling all Moscow that I have an enormous wart on my b...

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Funny story: Limericks

Limericks

Limericks are fun, aren't they, children? And they're easy to write too. There are five lines in a limerick, with the first, second and last lines rhyming with each other, and the third and fourth lines rhyming with each other as well. There's a simple 3, 3, 2, 2, 3 syllable pattern as well. Limericks were a great source of fun in the long-ago days when there were no Playstations, and there was...

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