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Funny satire stories about Olympics

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Funny story: Top athlete seeks new couch

Top athlete seeks new couch

Topia's premier pentathlon performer is desperately seeking a new couch. After taking part in the last 10 Olympic Games, veteran pentathlete Adi Nuff has been feeling 'absolutely knackered'. "All I want is a good lounge about, watching telly all...

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Funny story: British Olympic team having to hand back all medals

British Olympic team having to hand back all medals

The entire British Olympic team are having to return all medals after it was revealed that government agents had been spraying "slowing down" gas through the vents at the opposition sleeping quarters. Whistleblower Agent Dodgy Noseybastard thought...

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Funny story: The Para Lytic Games - Day 3 Report

The Para Lytic Games - Day 3 Report

Drinks all round as Brits hit Gold (Labels) - Four days into the games, and as predicted, the big two teams of Russia and Great Britain are dominating the medal table with five golds each. The shock of day two was the defeat of defending champion...

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Funny story: The Olympic closing ceremony that nearly was

The Olympic closing ceremony that nearly was

In a potential embarrassment for Olympic organisers, a leaked LOGOC document has revealed showpiece items which were considered- but rejected- for the London 2012 Olympics Games closing ceremony. A spokesman for LOGOC has expressed great concern o...

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Funny story: New Plans for Mentalympics

New Plans for Mentalympics

Doctor's have revealed the number of people being referred to a physcho[therapist] since the end of the Oh lympic [see #1] games has jumped to more than triple the figures before the game started. Pyscho Dr David Pole explains: "It quite often t...

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Funny story: Olympic chiefs extend length of 100 metres to maximise TV rights

Olympic chiefs extend length of 100 metres to maximise TV rights

Olympic bosses are secretly planning to extend the length of the 100 metres race to make more cash from TV broadcasting rights. As athletes continue to snip fractions off the winning time over recent years, broadcasters are offering less cash for...

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Funny story: Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day Six - Usain Bolt And The Magic Fountains

Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day Six - Usain Bolt And The Magic Fountains

Barcelona - El Raval - Sunday: Another hot sunny Sunday in the Catalan capital. For the Shuttlecock clan, there was much to anticipate, for Sunday evenings are traditionally the best times to see the Magic Fountain on the olympic hill of Montjuic in all their spectacular glory. The whole clan were raring to go, and wallow in the Magic Fountain's musical lightshow. All that is, except Mart...

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Funny story: The Honourlympics is about to begin

The Honourlympics is about to begin

In a shock revelation, Sebastian (Lord) Coe has announced a new competition that will feature heavily on our TV screens, newspaper front pages and social media for the next few weeks. "As soon as the Paralympics is over" states Lord Coe, "we will...

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Funny story: V Festival performers refused permission to use Olympic Lanes

V Festival performers refused permission to use Olympic Lanes

Celebrity musician and X-Factor Chav, sorry Judge, was fuming today after being told she and her entourage could not use the Olympic Zil lanes to get from Stafford to Chelmsford to perform her new hit single on stage. The cousin of Dappy blew a fu...

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Funny story: Hope Solo Says Maksim Chmerkovskiy Angrily Bit Her Toes

Hope Solo Says Maksim Chmerkovskiy Angrily Bit Her Toes

NEW YORK CITY - U.S. Women's Olympic Team goalie Hope Solo was in the "Big Apple" on a book signing tour of her new book Goooooooalllll! - The Hope Solo Memoirs. She was asked by Rufus Reno with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily about a chapter in th...

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Funny story: Terrifying New Drug Sweeps Country

Terrifying New Drug Sweeps Country

A new sinister drug is sweeping the country, say government and police officials, and it is set to bring despair and misery to the population. The drug has swept in to every facet of our society, from the rich and well-to-do areas of Kent, to the...

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Funny story: Tool catalogue people now in on act with Olympics

Tool catalogue people now in on act with Olympics

The makers of a popular little catalogue of working tools and accessories, have now got in on the act of trying to equate their products with the recent London Olympics. They have this morning released their new range of wall fixing accessories un...

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Funny story: Fate of Olympic Stadium decided - could Tesco be taking over?

Fate of Olympic Stadium decided - could Tesco be taking over?

In a dramatic move announced today a supermarket in partnership with TV personality Dale Winton, will be taking over the Olympic Stadium used in the recent London Olympics. The left side of the stadium will become one of the popular shops (open 7.

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Funny story: Olympic Disaster Shock

Olympic Disaster Shock

Downing Street is reeling as a result of the unexpected outcome following the Olympic Games. A source close to the Prime Minister spoke of the shock at No 10 when the latest Opinion Polls showed no improvemnet for the Government in its support. In...

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Funny story: Oprah Winfrey Criticizes Serena Williams For Doing The "Crip Walk"

Oprah Winfrey Criticizes Serena Williams For Doing The "Crip Walk"

CHICAGO - Oprah Winfrey has expressed the fact that she really and truly misses being in the celebrity limelight and actually feels like a fish out of water. She recently revealed that she had no idea that not being the focus of so many people's l...

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Funny story: Mayor of London admits to mistake in London 2012 Olympics Closing Ceremony

Mayor of London admits to mistake in London 2012 Olympics Closing Ceremony

Floppy haired part-time 'Night-Mayor of London' Morris Johnson today admitted to close friends to a string of errors in the London 2012 Closing Ceremony. The cloth-eared Mayor, who has continually embarrassed the Capital since wrangling the job f...

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Funny story: Finger-Lickin' May Be Clue To Australia's Swimming

Finger-Lickin' May Be Clue To Australia's Swimming

"Alright youse blokes an' sheilas, we stuffed up big time in the London 'Lympics swimmin, right?" These were the words of Australia's swim coach Donnie Tallboys as he post-mortemed Australia's not-so-good effort in the recent London Olympics. "...

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