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Funny satire stories about Old People

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Funny story: The Top 10 Upsides of Turning 60

The Top 10 Upsides of Turning 60

It's no fun turning 60. It's the official beginning of "old manhood," as in, "What are you doing in the fast lane, old man?" Or worse, "What are you doing in the diaper aisle, old man?" But as with most things in life, there are some positives. Change can be good. Improvements have been made. For instance, the life expectancy of an American male back in 1937 was 58. If that number hadn't improv...

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Funny story: Vietnamese woman 'ages' 50 years in days, looks exactly like woman's mother who cannot be located

Vietnamese woman 'ages' 50 years in days, looks exactly like woman's mother who cannot be located

SAIGON--Nguyen Thi Phuong, 23, is telling friends to just put up with the itch the next time they have an allergic reaction to seafood. Her husband and she claim that, after taking steroidal medication, she aged some 50 years in a matter of days.

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Funny story: Senior citizens stoned after ingesting pot brownies, hauled off to hospital for no good reason

Senior citizens stoned after ingesting pot brownies, hauled off to hospital for no good reason

HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif.--Three senior citizens attending a funeral reception sampled brownies that they'd never forget--or perhaps they have forgotten actually. Among the ingredients used in the brownies: medicinal marijuana. According to sources...

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Funny story: Feeding Rotten Food to the Elderly is Real Reason Behind the Scrapping of 'Sell By 'dates claims MP

Feeding Rotten Food to the Elderly is Real Reason Behind the Scrapping of 'Sell By 'dates claims MP

Recently sacked Minister of Austerity, Sir Peregrine Partridge-Greenwelly is claiming the real reason behind the government's decision to scrap food 'sell by' dates is not to stop perfectly safe food from being wasted, but is in fact a first step tow...

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Funny story: Susan Powell scandal proves to have too many names for old folks to follow

Susan Powell scandal proves to have too many names for old folks to follow

HARFOLD, Vermont--At Harfold Health and Rehab Center, the elderly inhabitants enjoy a good scandal like anybody. But just as many senior citizens don't care for books and movies with a multitude of characters, it seems they need a scandal with very f...

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Funny story: Giant leatherback sea turtles menacing hapless Bognor OAPs

Giant leatherback sea turtles menacing hapless Bognor OAPs

Sussex - Swarms of mating season Dermochelys coriacea leatherbacks were blamed today for 'hideous' attacks on British pensioners holidaying in the UK's 'Adriatic Riviera' of Bognor Regis. Invading Caribbean testudines have apparently mistaken some...

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Funny story: Old people still talking about the Weather

Old people still talking about the Weather

In a lifelong trend, which shows no signs of changing over the short term, people in their 60's, 70's, 80's, 90's and older still list the weather as the top topic in conversation with both strangers and close family and friends. Mr Darren Uffer,...

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Funny story: Bankrupt care home sells off old people

Bankrupt care home sells off old people

A care homes company has begun selling off its old people after going into administration. Northern Cross, which operates 130 care homes around the UK, went into administration this week after failing to raise finance to cover its debts. 1,000 sta...

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Funny story: Revelations on Old Age

Revelations on Old Age

This article was admitted... er submitted, by a Spoof reporter of great maturity and senility, during one of his rare moments of semi-lucidity. Written while he was in the queue at the local Job Centre Plus Jobs Fair, where it was gently pointed out to him, his age, his mental state, his medical conditions, and was then asked to zip up his flies, he was led out of the building by security. Anyway,...

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Funny story: Then and Now - 1959 vs 2011

Then and Now - 1959 vs 2011

One of the old farts who contribute their pathetic rubbish to our magazine, (we've tried to discourage him) has sent in yet another of his 'Odes' - this time about the downhill differences he finds himself suffering from 1959 to 2011. Being as we rejected to git's previous three pieces of crap, we thought we'd better include this one, as it is not as bad as his usual offerings. The place I now...

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Funny story: Elderly Care 'To Be Knee-Capped At £35K'

Elderly Care 'To Be Knee-Capped At £35K'

London - Those Nazi Tories want to knee-cap scrounging geriatric layabouts who refuse to pay for local authority chemical coshing during the twilight years, a report out today has concluded. This means a new £35,000 'bung' will be required before...

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Funny story: Leeds Utd Granny hooligirl gets arrested then banned!

Leeds Utd Granny hooligirl gets arrested then banned!

It could only happen to a Leeds Utd hooligirl/granny because they are the only team in the country that have them. Leeds Utd are renowned for their very dodgy Hooligan fraternity, they begin at the early age of 2 months and continue right up to re...

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Funny story: Sarah Palin's Prosperity Plan: Raise the Retirement Age to 90, Lower the Drinking Age to 12

Sarah Palin's Prosperity Plan: Raise the Retirement Age to 90, Lower the Drinking Age to 12

Wasilla, Alaska - Tired of being branded as a political lightweight, Republican presidential contender Sarah Palin today revealed some heavy ideas for dealing with America's ongoing economic crisis. "The way I see it," Palin said, "America is bein...

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Funny story: Old People To Be Moved To Prison Ships

Old People To Be Moved To Prison Ships

As concerns grow for elderly residents of care homes, new proposals have been advanced suggesting that placing the elderly on board strategically positioned prison ships will ease the burden on the taxpayer. The idea appears to be gaining support...

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Funny story: Alliance To Target Over Sixty Fives

Alliance To Target Over Sixty Fives

The government has announced plans to reduce the number of pensioners nationwide. This is the latest in a long line of initiatives to reduce the national debt. Pensioners, they say, are a drain on national resources. Not only do they drain billion...

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Funny story: Mel Gibson to marry the world's ugliest woman

Mel Gibson to marry the world's ugliest woman

The bright Los Angeles skyline beamed a special message Monday night for all to see, but intended for just one. The illuminated banner of Aerial Advertising from a plane glowed shortly before 8 p.m. with the ultimate marriage proposal. Spelled out...

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Funny story: World's oldest woman dies at 145 after visiting the moon

World's oldest woman dies at 145 after visiting the moon

Reports have reached the world through the British red-top tabloid press that the world's oldest woman, Mary Quite-Contrary has died in Somerset, England at 145, just after visiting the Moon. Lauded by millions of people as the word's oldest woman...

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