Brussels - (Holy Shit!): First the Vatican Pension Fund lost 90% of its $$$s last week in the wake of the BP share price fiasco. Next, a huge Belgian police paedophile raid netted dozens of suspects and lead to a spectacular bust on St Rambouts Ca...
TEHRAN, Iran - Senior Al Qaeda Leader Abu Musab al-Zarqaui has stated that he has the knowledge, the resources, the manpower, and the equipment to stop the oil that is spilling out into the Gulf of Mexico. Al-Zarqaui said that the reason that he i...
England - Tony Hayward's boat Bob was leading a yacht race on Saturday when several gigantic tentacles emerged and surrounded his vessel from underneath. The boat was crushed and disappeared from the surface. "It was just horrible," said Sir Elton...
Gulf of Mexico - (Deez Mess): "The design came to me in a dream in 1995," Costner told the House Energy and Commerce Committee this week. "We'd been filming in the Pacific waters off Hawaii using a derelict replica of the Exxon Valdez," Costner ex...
Washington D.C. somewhere between Whoville and maybe a leper colony. The following news story was pre-recorded in front of a group of 4 year olds and found to be of suitable news content to be submitted to the Spoof. The whole world was watchin...
Anyone with a 5th grade science education, knows that as a water source becomes evaporated by the heating of the sun, it re-formulates in clouds and rains down on areas over which those clouds blanket the earth. What most do not know however, is the...
Pensacola Florida - Actor Kevin Costner's oil-spill device has all the approval it needs to scoop the goop from the Gulf of Mexico, but is waiting for money from BP, according to the actor and his business partner. BP has issued a letter of intent to...
San Ramon - (Crude Mess): Years of murky shenanigans by BP's disgraced perjuring former CEO Lord Browne look set to rebound on the London-based supermajor. Exquisitely choreographed acts of espionage, insider dealing, dirty tricks and outright chi...
Faced with a final Gulf Goo bill that could top $6 billion dollars, BP has declared war on Afghanistan. At a last-minute press conference held last night along the oil-soaked beaches of Barataria, BP CEO, Tony Haywood, announced that Afghanistan mus...
Seoul, South Korea. Just when you thought things couldn't get any more tense in the Korean Peninsula, something happens to make the comic tension ever worse! Today Kim Jong Ill announced plans for the entire nation of North Korea to simultaneousl...
Oil is not nice stuff if you are a bird. It gets in your feathers, after which you either get eaten, starve or drown. However if you are a car, it is extremely nice stuff - vital in everything that constitutes driving - fuel, engine oil, brake flu...
BP has proudly announced that it has struck a deal with the Turkish Kebab Makers Guild that will solve the oil crisis in the Gulf. Tony Hayward of BP said that intense negotiations had taken place over the previous week, which ha resulted in a win...
Oil company BP recently announced that the massive oil spill was now contained in a patch of ocean no more than 300,000 square miles in size. "We feel this is a major containment" said a spokesperson for the oil giant "and want to assure gulf residen...
Acme Corporation is reporting a huge profit upswing this month. Acme is the chief supplier of underwater doo-dads for BP Corporation, the sponsors of what is now the largest oil spill ever. BP has been buying heavily from Acme in its attempts to up c...
New Orleans, Louisiana. Information to hand suggests that authorities have come up with an effective way to seal the leaking oil pipe in the depths of the Gulf of Mexico. American Idol judge and impresario, Simon Cowell, has been apprehended by B...
Well known for his abusive directing techniques within Hollywood, James Cameron was recently invited to the White House ostensibly in order to help solve the BP Oil Spill. In actuality, many insiders are commenting that the only reason Cameron was in...
BP has announced that after the failure of Top-Hat, Top-Kill and the underperforming 'Top-Cap', they are ready to launch their next oil stemming attempt...Top-Cat. Less than bright Engineers who could not ever have envisaged that something like th...
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