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Funny satire stories about Obesity

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Funny story: Cancer No Longer #1 Killer In America: Morbid Obesity And Accidents Form Surprise Team

Cancer No Longer #1 Killer In America: Morbid Obesity And Accidents Form Surprise Team

ATLANTA, GA--In what is already being hailed as one of the most depressing pieces of news in weeks, the Centers for Disease Control have rolled out their annual list of leading causes of death for 2011, and it appears that neither cancer, nor heart d...

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Funny story: BBC warns against 'fat extremist' slur

BBC warns against 'fat extremist' slur

London - Journalists at the Corporation have been barred from calling the grossly obese - such as bankers - 'fat cats' after some City big wigs lost a bit of weight over January. The move follows a complaint from a once portly RBS director who poi...

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Funny story: Waistline expansion to create 60,000 jobs

Waistline expansion to create 60,000 jobs

Manufacturers and other employers look set for a welcome boost in employment figures - thanks to increasing obesity. Despite the current recession, waistlines have been expanding rapidly in the last year. Many people are now unable to wear no...

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Funny story: Somerset man had free meals for 9 months

Somerset man had free meals for 9 months

An obese man who died from a heart attack had been gorging himself on free meals and drinks for 9 months prior to his sudden death. 52-year-old Albert Burton, who lived near Cheddar Gorge, loved all-inclusive holidays at Mediterranean resorts, and...

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Funny story: Stampede by grossly obese passengers to all-you-can-eat counter responsible for Costa Concordia sinking?

Stampede by grossly obese passengers to all-you-can-eat counter responsible for Costa Concordia sinking?

Rome - Italian cruise ship owners have denied reports that the Costa Concordia's capsizing last night was caused partly by a surge to the eat-as-much-as-you-like self service counter. The dining room's buffet spread was groaning under the massive...

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Funny story: Aspartame Boy finds proof that Diet Coke helps you stay trim

Aspartame Boy finds proof that Diet Coke helps you stay trim

MANCHESTER, England - Aspartame Boy now has first hand evidence that you CAN lose weight on Diet Coke. He actually lost 20 stone after switching from Diet Pepsi to Diet Coke. "I don't know why, but I just started losing weight like crazy after I...

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Funny story: "Leap Centimetre" To Be Added To The Length Of The Metre In 2012

"Leap Centimetre" To Be Added To The Length Of The Metre In 2012

The International Bureau of Weights and Measures in Paris today announced that a "leap centimetre" would be added to the length of the metre at midnight on 28th February 2012, to coincide with the addition of an extra day to the year. 'People are...

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Funny story: Chubby Chasers Flock to Lard-Arsed Britain

Chubby Chasers Flock to Lard-Arsed Britain

A new survey has revealed that British women are the fattest in Europe, and that British men are the second fattest (after Malta, who don't really count). PM David Cameron welcomed the report, saying, "This proves the recession is truly over and the...

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Funny story: Seats And Turnstiles Not Big Enough At Olympic Stadium For Today's Fatties!

Seats And Turnstiles Not Big Enough At Olympic Stadium For Today's Fatties!

Several thousand of the seats already fitted in the various stadiums at East London's Olympic Village will have to be taken out and replaced with reinforced ones. The decision to change the seats has been taken because of concerns raised by Health an...

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Funny story: Grossbook - the new social network website for fatties is launched

Grossbook - the new social network website for fatties is launched

Today saw the launch of Grossbook, the new social network site specially for the clinically obese, overeaters and the world's general fast-food junkies. Jane Lardbucket, a 32 stone professional eater from Glasgow had the idea when she was trying t...

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Funny story: Vast majority of dieters wrongly blame hormonal changes for weight re-gain, study

Vast majority of dieters wrongly blame hormonal changes for weight re-gain, study

HARFOLD, Vt.--Some 80% of dieters regain the weight they've lost within a year. According to a study released earlier this week by Harfold State College, some 99.9% of those dieters blame hormonal changes for the return of flab. Coincidently, the...

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Funny story: Survival of the Fattest - Fitness Experts Mysterious Premature Deaths

Survival of the Fattest - Fitness Experts Mysterious Premature Deaths

A group of scientists working in the Bovril group at the University of Oxford have unearthed evidence that Darwin's mantle of "survival of the fittest" no longer holds as true in today's society. Following a survey of over 3,000 fitness experts, p...

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Funny story: Britain's favourite meal is... Brunch!

Britain's favourite meal is... Brunch!

The UK is going bonkers for brunch according to a new survey. 42% of Brits no longer eat breakfast while a staggering 98% have taken up the mid-morning meal instead to save time. Kate Tin of Durex who ran the poll explained the findings 'People...

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Funny story: PJ Harvey picked by Cameron to be Obesity Tsar

PJ Harvey picked by Cameron to be Obesity Tsar

It has been 'all go' since winning her second Mercury prize and it doesn't look as if the media merry go round shows any signs of slowing for pops diminutive, happy go lucky and playful poppet, Polly Jean Harvey. After a whirlwind tour of breakfas...

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Funny story: Man-Bra Gains Traction in Southern USA

Man-Bra Gains Traction in Southern USA

A new and much-needed fashion trend, the "Man Bra", has been rising in popularity in Southern states including Texas, Mississippi and Alabama. The concept, which encountered initial resistance as being "un-manly", has been aggressively promoted with...

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Funny story: Sumo Wrestlers: "Too Fat"

Sumo Wrestlers: "Too Fat"

The Japanese government has come down hard on sumo wrestlers, branding them grossly obese and a poor role model for children. "Japan is suffering under a rising wave of blubber," said health minister, Yung Fat. "Over the past two decades we have s...

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Funny story: Research shows 100% of Americans will be Anorexic or Obese by 2020

Research shows 100% of Americans will be Anorexic or Obese by 2020

Boston, Mass-- A group of researchers at Boston College recently concluded that 100% of all Americans will either be obese or anorexic by 2020. Lead researcher Dillon Hardwick stated, "I got the idea for the study after I noticed everyone attending...

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