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Funny satire stories about Nottingham

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Funny story: Nottingham Outlets Suffer Drop in Customer Numbers

Nottingham Outlets Suffer Drop in Customer Numbers

The Nottingham Chamber of Commerce revealed today that outlets and traders in Nottingham have suffered a dramatic overall downfall in the number of customers through their doors in 2011. Some businesses did increase their turnover, but only 10% re...

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Funny story: Nottingham News for W/E 7th Jan 2012 - with comments

Nottingham News for W/E 7th Jan 2012 - with comments

1st Jan 2012: A ceremony to remember those who lost their lives as a result of violent crime in Nottinghamshire is held Category: Crime - Remembrance - Service 'The Mansfield Chad' Nottinghamshire Police fully supported the memorial service, which was held at St Andrew's Church, Mansfield Road, Nottingham. The service which included songs, readings and poems to promote 'togetherness' and 's...

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Funny story: Economic Recipes for Nottingham Residents

Economic Recipes for Nottingham Residents

We show the unemployed and minimum wage earning Nottingham residents, just how they can tantalise their epiglottis, economically. Even in the current financial strife, the common riot torn, criminal ridden, muggings galore, Nottingham peoples find themselves in today. The recipes presented here, were donated by Nottingham unemployed citizens, prisoners, security guards, NHS patients, minimum w...

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Funny story: Historical Walks of Ye Olde Nottingham - Home to the Public Baths

Historical Walks of Ye Olde Nottingham - Home to the Public Baths

Historical Walks of Ye Olde Nottingham Home to the Public Baths A guided tour of the route taken in 1963 - comparing it with today. 1963: I'd leave Brookfield Place in the Meadows, with the soot coming down from the railway viaduct, along the cobbled horse manure decorated road, and pass the policeman's bike leant up at Maureen Chapmans house door. Today: Today, we start at the bookmaker...

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Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Thirty-Seven

A True Diary of Woe - Part Thirty-Seven

A diary of one man's utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 67 - The Guarding the Turkey Farm Episode I was posted one November, to a farm near Kinoulton in Nottinghamshire, assigned to protect the Turkeys being fattened in time for Christmas. As usual the assignment instructions were vague and lacking in detail. when I arriv...

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Funny story: Nottingham News for W/E 31 Dec 2011 - with comments

Nottingham News for W/E 31 Dec 2011 - with comments

25 Dec 2011: Drunk driver left 'housebound' by ban for being over the limit Category: Crime 'This is Nottingham' A disabled pensioner claimed he would be left "housebound" once banned from driving after being found drunk at the wheel. Neil Craig, 69, of Raglan Court, Beeston, is the third driver to be named and shamed in the Post's Christmas anti-drink driving campaign, 'None for the Road'.

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Funny story: Historical Walks of Ye Olde Nottingham - The Old Trolley bus route to Bulwell

Historical Walks of Ye Olde Nottingham - The Old Trolley bus route to Bulwell

Historical Walks of Ye Olde Nottingham Our local historian, guide, and pensioner takes you along the route, describing what he sees now, and what was there in his youth and before. The comparisons depict the changing face of life for Nottinghomians. Along the Old Trolleybus 43 route, City Centre to Bulwell. We begin where the old 43 trolleybus stop was situated in the City Centre Slab Squar...

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Funny story: Nottingham News for W/E 24 Dec 2011 - with comments

Nottingham News for W/E 24 Dec 2011 - with comments

19 Dec 2011: Nottingham Police launch a crackdown after increase in burglaries Category: Crime 'Nottingham Evening Post' Police have launched a crackdown on burglaries after a rise in offences in Nottingham. In October, Home Office National statistics from June 2010 to June 2011 showed that the number of burglaries had fallen. They fell by 32% or nearly 3,000 fewer victims. But in October...

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Funny story: New English Super-hero film to be produced in Nottingham

New English Super-hero film to be produced in Nottingham

A small Nottingham budget film company, 3Ms (Majestic Monochrome Machinations) has acquired financial backing from Walt Disney Euro, to go ahead with its brand new super-hero film series. Part owner of the company, Arthur Eydere explained the idea and plans for the series to our entertainment reporter C. Verilittal. "We had noted that there are currently no really ugly, disabled, or elderly...

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Funny story: New Year Resolutions - that are easy for a Nottingham resident to keep!

New Year Resolutions - that are easy for a Nottingham resident to keep!

1) Get mugged. 2) Have your home burgled. 3) Get made redundant, and sign on at the jobcentre. 4) Shop next year at the multitude of closing down stores to save cash and get a bargain. 5) Have pedestrian training on how to avoid the Big Issue sellers. 6) Visit the closed down medical wards, arrange nostalgia tours through your local Health Care Managers. (They will require 30% of in...

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Funny story: Santa Banned at Social Centre in Nottingham

Santa Banned at Social Centre in Nottingham

Officials at the Okoku Bantu Social Centre in Nottingham, have banned the traditional appearance of local Senior Citizen Willie Stroker this year. The new Centre manager Abdul-Bazeer Adabayor, explained: "We think that the appearance of Santa Clau...

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Funny story: Historical Walks of Ye Olde Nottingham - Around the City Centre

Historical Walks of Ye Olde Nottingham - Around the City Centre

A stroll around the Council House of Nottingham. Recalling and comparing the quaint and individualistic nature of life in Nottingham comparing the three dates, 1890, 1963, and 2011, at the same location. Long Row East 1890: As you walk up Long Row East, watching out for the cyclists horse drawn trams, and pigeon pooh falling. On your left is the magnificent fascia of the decorative and...

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Funny story: Nottingham News for W/E 18 Dec 2011 - with comments

Nottingham News for W/E 18 Dec 2011 - with comments

15 Dec 2011: Armed robbers made off with cash after raiding a post office in Nottingham 'Nottingham Today' Two men wearing scarves over their faces entered the shop in Hucknall Road, Sherwood, at 11.10am on Wednesday and demanded money. Witnesses say that one of the men was carrying a gun. The pair made off with a quantity of cash in a grey bag and fled the scene in a stolen Black Audi A3...

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Funny story: Nottingham Pensioner Injured by Christmas Shoppers!

Nottingham Pensioner Injured by Christmas Shoppers!

A Nottingham Pensioner, Inchcock Chambers (65) has been injured in the Victoria Shopping centre, whilst struggling to walk through (he had no money for any purchases) the shopping mall, amidst the packed early Christmas shopping crowds. Medical at...

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Funny story: Nottingham News for W/E 10 Dec 2011 - with comments

Nottingham News for W/E 10 Dec 2011 - with comments

3 Dec 0211: Ambulance paramedic 'Inhaled laughing gas' while at the wheel The Nottingham Evening Post He was based in Derbyshire, has now been suspended from the Health Professions Council register for misusing Entonox while on duty. ​Entonox is a mixture of nitrous oxide - or laughing gas - and oxygen, and is also known as "gas and air". "You've got to laugh!" 3 Dec 0211: Police need...

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Funny story: Historical Walks of Ye Olde Nottingham - To the Trent

Historical Walks of Ye Olde Nottingham - To the Trent

A short walk from the Meadows police Station, to the picturesque river Trent Embankment for a picnic. 1959: You stroll passed the Constables pushbike resting outside of the station, and meander up the tree lines Queens Drive towards the river, with your pork pie, bottle of Dandylion & Burdoch, and if your lucky, an apple or banana. 2010: Your gingerly walk passed the fire-bombed police...

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Funny story: Political News for W/E 3 Dec 2011 - with comments

Political News for W/E 3 Dec 2011 - with comments

26 Nov 2011: Gang used bleach to make illicit vodka The Independent The mastermind of a gang who used methylated spirits and bleach to manufacture thousands of bottles of fake vodka at a remote farm to sell across Britain has been jailed for seven years. Investigators believe that 165,000 bottles of the vodka, which was unfit for human consumption, had been made in 2009 and 2010 and sent...

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